http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022499019 IdaBriggs (5,831 posts)
View profile
I need to talk about my (dead) sister.
She died from complications from Multiple Sclerosis in 2003 at age 39.
Because this is a "political" message board, I am going to share some things about her life that tie into the current discussions about Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid and the people who use and/or "abuse" them.
My sister was on Social Security Disability, and she scammed the system by not reporting when she made money.
She had a type of Multiple Sclerosis called "relapsing/remitting" and it SUCKED. Sometimes she was almost fine. Sometimes she wasn't. Family frequently questioned whether she was "faking it" because when she wasn't suffering from an attack, she could function at a pretty normal level, but when she was "having a spell" she would be almost incapacitated. The attacks could hit suddenly: one day she would be out mowing the lawn, and the next, she would be in a wheelchair. (In hindsight, yes, the correlation seems obvious.)
She received approximately $9,000 a year in income from Social Security Disability; she also received money for her children (with two, probably about $850 a month?), and her live-in boyfriend also received money for taking care of her (I have no clue how much).
When she was doing well, she would work under the table (full time, sometimes more). We knew she was still collecting money from the government while this was going on, and to be honest, there was not a lot of respect for her because of it. I asked her about it once - one tries not to interfere in other people's lifestyle choices - and she explained that it was more about the health insurance than the money; it had taken several years to get approved for SSDI when she was diagnosed in her early twenties, and there was no way she could afford the the medical bills when the next inevitable attack came without assistance, let alone the roof over her children's head, without it.
They lived well most of the time - cell phones (back when they were an uncommon luxury), new clothing, nice cars - in a nice neighborhood, in a house that they were always working on "fixing up." Financially, their life style seemed impossible, especially because her "caretaker" went through several years of chronic unemployment. We suspected that drugs (illegal, and selling her prescriptions) were used to supplement the family income; this was confirmed by her children after her death, but she also shuffled credit cards like crazy, and left behind a ton of unpaid and noncollectable debt because of it. (Not a criticism, by the way.)
Multiple Sclerosis consumed her life; when she was well, there was a near feverish desire to "do as much as possible" for and with her two daughters. When she wasn't, she kept the house dark. Each time she came back from an attack, she was a little "less better" -- the numbness always grew. She had nightmares. She was scared. She was angry. She was defiant. She was hopeful.
And then, three days after Christmas back in 2003, she was dead. She got a cold (just like she always did multiple times a winter) that turned into pneumonia. She died on her way to the hospital, leaving behind two daughters age 20 and 18.
We had all gotten so used to her constantly being sick that I didn't believe the initial call that she was gone. It was too sudden - we had seen her at the family holiday party, and she was fine. We had talked a few days later, and she was fine. Then she was gone.
Yes, she cheated and scammed the system; she played it like a fiddle sometimes. Most of what she needed was the medical care, but the two - health insurance and income - came bundled together. When she was well, in the early years, she could have worked a full time job that wasn't under the table, but if she did, when the "next attack" came, she would have had no income or health insurance. The system really isn't set up for "okay, sometimes I will need some help, and I won't be able to wait two years for you to figure it out, but I want to be as independent as possible, so ...?" It is set up as a "yes/no" and as a taxpayer, I can look at it, and see that it costs *way* too much money, including in personal pride. (She was proud; she knew she was scamming sometimes, but she felt like it was the only way to survive, and by God! she was a survivor!)
Multiple Sclerosis is a terrible disease. She was so scared about being trapped in a body that she couldn't control -- we still lost her too soon, but at the same time, we didn't have to deal with some of the options she discussed about "when the time comes" - and yes, she talked about being control of when the battle ended. It turned out not to be an issue; we all thought there would be "more time."
This week (March 11 - 17, 2013) is national Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week.
My sister was more than a person on Social Security Disability. Yes, she scammed, and I won't pretend she didn't, but I understand why, and it wasn't because she *wanted* to - it was because she had no choice if she was going to make sure her family was taken care of. She was also more than that:
She was funny. She had gorgeous long thick hair that she was ridiculously proud of. She was skinny, and would freak out when the medications made her "puffy". She worshiped the sun, and was always tan. She liked to roller skate when she was young. She loved animals. She was worried more about being a friend to her daughters than a disciplinarian. She loved pretty jewelry. She was good with plants. She was a survivor of an abusive relationship with her ex-husband. She spent eighteen years with the love of her life, who raised her daughters as if they were his own. She was a complicated person. She didn't always make good choices. She loved her daughters, and would do anything for them. She could be the Queen of Bitchy. She could be your best friend. She was my sister, and she never got to meet my children.
She's been gone nearly a decade; there is still no cure.
Jeannette: May 12, 1964 - Dec 28, 2003 (age 39)
This week is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week - http://www.nationalmssociety.org/index.aspx
She died an unrepentant thief.
1monster (8,596 posts)
22. I agree with hlthe2b. I've always thought it wrong that those on disabililty and SSI are
View profile
kept to poverty levels, having their SSI or SSDI dropped by the same amount they earned more than they were allowed. I believe that the amount they were allowed to earn over and above their payments was $11,000 per year.
Since it's other people's money, why not let them have as much as they want?
IdaBriggs (5,831 posts)
8. Sometimes the medications she was on also caused problems.
View profile
I didn't delve too deeply into her finances at the time - the "underground economy" concept is one that makes me uncomfortable.
People have done worse for less; I understand some of her thinking. I resent the fact she had to feel humiliated about it.
A thief shouldn't suffer needless shame.
REP (18,026 posts)
17. It doesn't sound like like 'scamming' to me
View profile
First, she had a real and serious debilitating illness. She qualified for SSD; she didn't give herself MS for 'easy money' (ha) or fake a billion tests.
Second, SSD does allow allow people to earn some money and still receive full benefits. Maybe she exceeded that amount. If she did, maybe it was an honest mistake; maybe she just needed to money to survive. Either way, I can't see that as 'scamming.'
I hope those few extra dollars brought some comfort and fun into her life, and eased some of the anxiety that comes with living with a chronic disease. I'm sorry you lost you her too soon.
You DUmbass. There are healthy welfare queens that are doing just that. Their momma's did it. Their Grand momma's did it. Their kids do it. Their grand kids will do it.
mentalsolstice (3,581 posts)
40. I'm so sorry for your loss!
View profile
It's nice to see that her family and friends didn't make assumptions, gave her the benefit of the doubt and did not report her to SSA. Some SSDI recipients are not so lucky, and it's assumed they're deadbeats.
Some history: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=795074&mesg_id=795074.
IdaBriggs (5,831 posts)
43. Sweetheart, we made *all kinds* of assumptions.
View profile
Especially in the beginning. When she was fine, she *looked* fine. When I talk about her mowing the lawn, I saw her mowing the lawn - and two days later, she was in a wheelchair. Huh? Then, a week later, she was up moving around, and everything was "fine" like nothing had ever happened.
I would say it was about ten years before there was an agreement in the family that she really *did* have Multiple Sclerosis. I am not proud of that, but honestly, her teen years were filled with issues, and her ex had a drug problem, and she *looked* fine....?
But she was family, so we looked the other way. What else can you do?
I stand behind the post you brought up; the follow-up to it is that guy ended up back on drugs, stole rent money, caught on video robbing a neighboring house, and back in jail he went (after he threatened to assault my handy-man).
And I am still infuriated by the fact people who NEED help fight for years to get it, while some of the real "scammers" sail through the system.
Oh, and remember the cerebral palsy stuff from last year? 118 children and counting -- this mom is blogging her daughter's progress: http://pgpnadiafindingrdaughter.blogspot.com/?m=1 (and doesn't mind other people knowing about it). Thank God I didn't listen to you!!!
mentalsolstice (3,581 posts)
48. I'm not your "sweetheart"
View profile
Last edited Wed Mar 13, 2013, 03:43 PM USA/ET - Edit history (1)
I truly feel for the loss of your sister. However, your previous posts speculating about people on SSDI and other sources of public welfare were worthy. You proved you were no liberal in those posts.
And you still don't have many of us sold on your woo science...let's see where they are in 20 years. Not to mention you have no serious science behind your activities.
You're very bouncy
Bitch slap.
I feel for those with a debilitating illness. What I don't feel for is those that would use the illness for an excuse for their own personal gain. The money that this person stole could have went to someone else that needed it, but was denied for lack of funds.
