Unicorns Mysteriously Disappear

[Karin]

Epidemic of Companion Animal Disappearances Besieges U.S.
Opiate of the People

1/10/2013, 12:26 am

It was a cloudy, overcast mid-November morning just before Thanksgiving when Roseanne-Cher Moonbatt's daughter Freelunch suddenly began screaming at the top of her lungs and crying, "Mommy, mommy, it's gone!!! WAAAAH!" The 27-year old had been re-checking her student loan account online and was disappointed to find her huge balance due had not magically gone away as she was hoping.

But her distress turned to horror when she looked out the basement window and discovered her pet unicorn Hopealong-Changedy had disappeared without a trace. The animal was a gift from the 2008 Obama campaign where she had worked as an unpaid Twitterer and, along with her degree in Justin Beiber Studies, was one of her most prized posessions.

...

"It's not fair," cried Freelunch Moonbatt; "I KNOW I had a pet unicorn, I KNOW IT! But it's gone and nobody can tell me where it is or when it's coming back! WAAAAH! Who took my Cheetos?"

"Reality sucks!" said one man whose pet unicorn disappeared after his first 2013 paycheck presented him with a substantial tax increase.

More at The People's Cube

Hopealong-Changedy...