Dear lurking Dummies,
I've been trying to think of ways to help you with your desire to get firearms banned. Believe it or not, I'm more sympathetic to you than you'd like to think.
I actually saw one of those assault rifles this morning while it was sneaking around the neighborhood. It had one of those bipod things attached. I guess it had escaped from someone's gun cabinet. It was using the bipod like legs to walk around on. Kind of like one of those Mudskipper fish that walk with their fins.
You should have seen it sneaking around. Dragging its stock along behind. Every once and a while you could see it peek its muzzle out from behind a tree to look around. It was terrifying. Needless to say, I got out of there before it could switch off its safety and start firing itself all over the place.
Anyway, the whole incident got me to thinking about ways that I can help you get guns banned. Here's my thoughts…
First, you need to focus on areas of the population that are more agreeable toward the idea. People that are already leaning in your favor that you can switch all the way. That means that there is no need whatsoever to focus on the rural areas. Most people in rural areas trend toward conservative thought and like their guns. The big cities, on the other hand, are more prone to progressive/liberal ideas. That is where you need to focus all of your energies.
The next question is how to get your message out. I did a lot of thinking on this and came to the conclusion that being simple and personal is the best. The simplest method that I could think of is T-shirts. Get you some white t-shirts.
No. Scratch that. You guys are sophisticated so you need a sophisticated color for your t-shirts. Get some chartreuse t-shirts. That's a good french based word, and we know how sophisticated those French folks are.
Anyway, get you some chartreuse t-shirts and with black colored (for good contrast) large block letters (for readability) write this on the t-shirts: I HATE WEAPONS! I DON'T HAVE ANY WEAPONS! LET'S BAN WEAPONS! Be sure to write it on the front and back if possible.
After you get the t-shirts made up wait until just after dark because that will make that sophisticated chartreuse color stand out. Put the t-shirts on. Go into the more…diverse...areas of the big cities (Atlanta, Detroit, Chicago, East LA, etc) and just walk around. Getting your message out to the people. You'll have people ready to ban firearms in no time flat.
You don't have to thank me. I'm a fictional spirit-guide. I'm here to help.
