Brickbat's original post is a C&P job, so he doesn't get it brought over.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022174646#post53Response to Brickbat (Original post)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 02:26 PM
seabeyond (81,571 posts)
2. "be annoyed with men suggesting that you should try and look more pleasant." WTF.. now,
i will finish reading the story.
I shudder to imagine seabeyond trying to look pleasant.
Response to seabeyond (Reply #2)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 02:31 PM
JustAnotherGen (5,028 posts)
5. sea
Keep reading . . . this writer gets it.
Nah, he was pretty creepy before, now he just stares instead of suggesting a smile. So he's still not getting it.
Response to Brickbat (Original post)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 02:30 PM
Chemisse (18,350 posts)
4. Telling a woman to smile is so patronizing, almost like encouraging a dog to sit.
Well, maybe not THAT bad, but approaching it.
Why would a guy want to see a woman smile? Because she is there for his viewing pleasure. Her personal emotions are quite irrelevant to him. It's like asking her to put on a performance for him.
To be fair, I think that only really old men still say this kind of thing to women (unless there is regional variation of which I am blissfully unaware), a throwback to when a woman was placed on a pedestal, and was expected to observe all sorts of behavioral regulations for that honor (act like a lady, etc).
Smile, it'll make other wonder what you're up to.
Response to Chemisse (Reply #4)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 03:17 PM
CitizenPatriot (3,711 posts)
28. Not just old men
sadly. I've had professors say it to me, clients, random strangers, friends of boyfriends... even a male employee of MINE made that suggestion to me.
When I complained about this one day to a girl friend, an old man eavesdropping from across the room told me to stop complaining because when men stopped hitting on me, I'd be sorry (i.e., lose all of my value and power).
I've also been told a LOT that I shouldn't swear because it doesn't go with my face and it ruins some random stranger's picture of me. I'm talking your basic swear words, not even anything vulgar. I could go on - being told how to dress, being given torn out pages of Victoria Secret catalog AT WORK and told this would look much better on me than the "birth control outfit" I'm wearing. This has happened to me all over the country, not just the South. It gets on a woman's nerves.
Yeah, right. Nobody wants to see a female DUmmies wearing Victoria's Secret. It's almost as likely as a woman being told she'd look good in one at work. I can believeshe swears at work, hell it was probably upsetting the sailors.
Response to gkhouston (Reply #34)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 04:01 PM
BlancheSplanchnik (6,581 posts)
54. I *have* reached that stage and it's .... strange.
Sad because I've become invisible. I kind of liked being a hottie--yes I ADMIT that. Most people like positive attention.
I was also aware of the sexist nature of unwanted attention...I also had (have) my own individual issues about inferiority and such....
Regardless, I miss being recognized as a fellow human being now. Or maybe that's not the right word; I miss being recognized as EXISTING now.
However, on the bright side, if someone is friendly to me now, it's probably that they like ME, rather than just enjoy *looking* at me.
Another plus: I can now consider that second career as a stealth spy.
It isn't that age, trust me, us men like any woman that looks nice, it's the liberalism in you boring out that are making the men ignore you.
Response to Brickbat (Original post)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 02:32 PM
Quantess (23,107 posts)
6. It IS annoying.
And it won't get you laid.
No, not apparently as good as, "Hey, you wanna go muddin'?" has worked before.
Response to Brickbat (Original post)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 02:34 PM
MineralMan (49,751 posts)
10. I'd never tell someone to smile, man or woman.
Last edited Fri Jan 11, 2013, 02:35 PM USA/ET - Edit history (1)
That's not appropriate, since I don't know why anyone feels the way they do at any given time.
That is, of course, unless I'm holding a camera and I'm speaking to the group whose photo I'm taking. Then I might say, "Smile, everyone."
Well, you don't even have to smile to show you're pearly whites.
Response to Brickbat (Original post)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 03:46 PM
Flatulo (3,572 posts)
43. I can't imagine ever saying such a thing to anyone, much less a complete stranger.
Then again, I came up in the corporate era where HR departments were warning male employees to avoid even making eye contact with female employees unless they knew them and also knew that such eye contact would not be unwelcome. (I'm not sure how its possible to know this in advance, because you can't even tell if they are trying to make eye contact if you're studiously ignoring them.)
Ironically, I've had women tell me, many years after we worked together, that they'd thought I was stuck up back in the day. "No", I'd tell them, "Just trying to stay out of trouble."
It doesn't matter anymore anyway. I'm old and ugly now and have no interest in terrifying anyone.
DUmmie Flatulo lives in a world of irrational fear. Maybe it's the same one liberals think we inhabit....
Response to KansDem (Reply #55)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 04:12 PM
Flatulo (3,572 posts)
60. It's kind of sad that we've become so insulated from each other. I would not even let my
neice sit on my lap when she was age appropriate. I was uneasy about there ever being even the slightest possibility of suspicion of impropriety.
It's too bad that a few creeps ruined it for the rest of us decent males.
My whole life, I've waited until I was hit in the head with a two-by-four before I even acknowledged any female. Needless to say, I went years without a girlfriend. Thanks to alcohol I finally met my wife when I was 25 after a 4 year dry spell.
Nowadays we have dating sites, so at least one can tell who is in fact looking.
See. He was too scared to even approach a woman. A four year dry spell in his early 20s. See, driven by fear. He wouldn't even play with his niece. I bet he was more afraid of rejection than anything else.
Response to Brickbat (Original post)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 03:56 PM
1monster (8,497 posts)
53. The best way to get anyone to smile is to give a smile. A genuine smile, and a kind
Last edited Fri Jan 11, 2013, 03:57 PM USA/ET - Edit history (1)
word work wonders.
"Oh I really like that hat." "Cool shoes!" "Nice tie." "Isn't it a gorgeous day?"
Telling someone to "Smile!" is something of an insult. Giving people a reason to smile, if only for a moment, can change the world one smile and one moment at a time.You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
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Response to 1monster (Reply #53)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 04:16 PM
Flatulo (3,572 posts)
63. You're much braver than I am. I've never initiated conversation with a female stranger.
To be perfectly honest tho, good looking guys can get away with it much easier than an average looking schmuck like me. It really is a beauty contest when you get right down to it.
No, it ain't Flatulo your a man, and for the most part we are nothing to look at. Your problem is that you have no self-esteem and a woman can smell that a mile away.
Response to Brickbat (Original post)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 04:23 PM
Flatulo (3,572 posts)
69. I'm 57 years old now, and I still understand less about females than George Costanza.
I just keep my mouth shut and my eyes straight ahead at all times.
What a way to go through life, geez.
I started to go another way with this, but as I went down Flatulo was just too good to pass up. Seriously, that's no way to go through life.
