Christmas Miscellaneous

[CG6468]

It's time to start our Christmas greetings and other things.

My very brief poem at jacksjoint.com

Jack Eckert has crossed the bar, but he was really a good buddy of mine, and he started this website for and about Coastguardsmen.

T’was the night before Christmas,

And all around the boat

The Coasties were struggling

To keep her afloat.

 

The waves were a-pounding

The seas wouldn’t wait!

But this crew was ready;

‘Cause THEIR boat had a date!

 

Santa was waiting

Since his sleigh, don’t you know

For the first time was bogged down

In drifts of deep snow.

 

The sea suddenly calmed

To the crew’s great relief.

No one knew why,

Not even the old Chief.

 

Calm seas prevailed

Though the snow was still falling.

The wind had died down;

Then they heard Santa calling!

 

The boat pulled alongside

A monstrous ice floe,

And on board hopped Santa,

His sleigh and reindeer in tow!

 

The storm hit again –

The wind it did howl!

The Cutter slashed onward,

Slicing the seas with her bow!

 

After a while

The sky cleared and then,

The ocean was quiet;

It had happened again!

 

The crew yelled, Santa, you’re in luck!

There’s the pole star, Polaris!

Santa fired up Rudolph’s nose and said,

Thanks to the Coast Guard, nothing can scare us!

 

The sleigh flew into the night sky

With stardust a-twinkling,

And everyone on the crew,

Well, each had an inkling.

 

That they had saved the tradition

Of Santa and Christmas for children.

The timing, and conditions –

Well, they WERE bewilderin’!

 

As the cutter pulled into port

Ready for docking,

The crew found hanging on the rail

For each member, a stocking.

 

The surprise, don’t you know

Was from Santa, of course.

It was his way of saying,

Thanks for steering the course.

 

That storm was just terrible;

Of our direction, I lost track.

Nonetheless, you went out –

Tho’ you knew you might not get back.

 

Merry Christmas, you Coasties!

And to all of you, smooth sailing!

Keep up the good work!

You just don’t think of failing!

 

The public won’t know

Of your mission that night.

But that’s your standard procedure;

Just keep doing things right!

 

You saved Christmas this year,

Not to mention my life –

I guess it’s needless to say,

‘Thanks,’ from my wife.

 

See you next Christmas, Coasties!

Maybe Mother Nature will be

Friendly - kind - gentle

And you’ll not be at sea.

[CG6468]

Another one I wrote for Jack's Joint, with a few brief editorial corrections:

As during previous Christmases, an identified flying object will be tracked on radar screens throughout the world. The sleigh has been undergoing test runs for a week, and it will lift off from the North Pole at 1135Z, 24 DEC, in plenty of time to make it to the first locations at which the hour reaches 0000:00:01 on that date.

This reporter has confirmed reports indicate that Santa has requested and received authorization from Coast Guard Headquarters to use various CG personnel to assist him in completing the tremendous responsibilities of his assigned duties. He had heard that they felt that they had to go out, no matter the weather. Mr. Claus stated, "That’s all I had to know!" Santa has ensured their safe return. Mrs. Claus said, "I’m so confident that everyone will return safely!"

The agreement states that Santa and the CG Yeoman will use the notebook computer given to him by the CG to track his many deliveries throughout the long night. The CG Quartermaster will guide the sleigh through the dark night and over unfamiliar terrain, and a CG Boatswains Mate will maintain the many lines and harnesses required to keep the sleigh on its appointed rounds. The CG Storekeeper has ensured that all items are aboard the sleigh. The retired CG Boiler Tender will keep the reindeer properly stoked, and a CG Electricians Mate will keep a constant safety watch to maintain the integrity of Rudolph’s nose beacon. The CG Engineman will ensure that the exhaust from the reindeer does not adversely affect the mission.

The CG Aviation Machinists Mate has the responsibility of ensuring that the sleigh is properly chocked at each stop, and the CG Seaman will be responsible for handling the lines during each docking of Santa’s vessel. The CG Radarman will monitor the safe progress of the trip, and the CG Radioman will maintain contact with ground stations as required. The CG Avionics Technician will, of course, take care of any in-flight electronic glitches that may occur.

The CG Damage Control expert will fix the sleigh when it occasionally scrapes a chimney or TV antenna, which occurs during each trip Santa makes. The CG Rescue Swimmer will retrieve any articles that happen to fall into raging winter seas or onto storm-wracked mountains.

The Coast Guard has assigned Captain Magic Elfer to oversee all activities.

This is the first year the CG has been so extensively involved in Santa’s yearly trip; because of that fact, governments throughout the world share the conviction that the mission will be more successful this year than any year in the past.

Santa has guaranteed that all of the CG participants will have no memory of their assistance during his trip when they awaken on Christmas Day.

This reporter is signing off – Happy Holidays to everyone. But - - - - be sure to watch for Santa’s sleigh "Coasting" through the skies on Christmas Eve!

A Coastie Christmas