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Offline formerlurker

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I want to leave my wife
« on: October 09, 2012, 05:17:52 AM »
Quote
I want to leave my wife
Print | Comments (1034) Posted by Meredith Goldstein  October 5, 2012 08:21 AM

Q: Dear Meredith,

I am in my late 40s and have been married for almost 25 years. I love and respect my wife -- she is intelligent and is a great mother to our two grown children. We have had a good life. There was a time about a decade ago where I was not in a good place personally. I was in a job I hated and just generally not happy. During this time I had a few one night stands with women I met through my job. I eventually confessed to my wife because I felt so guilty about it. She was devastated but said she forgave me and I have tried very hard to be a better husband and better person. I found another job that I enjoyed more (and where there were not many women). Things have been pretty good for the last nine years.

Recently my wife has been depressed, anxious, and sometimes has unpredictable outbursts. I think she is suffering with the whole empty-nest thing. I have tried to be supportive but it seems like she takes all her emotional issues out on me and several times has thrown my past cheating in my face even though she claims to have forgiven me. During this time, I happened to meet a woman (Sarah) and we have gotten close and have been physical a few times. I felt really guilty about it though so cut off the friendship. But I found I was miserable because I had no one to talk to about what was going on with my wife. So after several weeks of no contact, we have resumed our friendship and spend a couple of hours a day talking on the phone or emailing. We have only been physical once in that time. Sarah's a good listener and is also going through something similar (she is in an unhappy marriage and contemplating divorce).

After many conversations with her, Sarah helped me realize how unhappy I've been in my marriage for a long time. And that my wife has never forgiven me for my past cheating and probably never will. I am contemplating leaving but I'm worried about how that would affect my wife. I don't want to hurt her. I also worry about the financial aspects. My wife is the bread winner in the family and came into the marriage with some family money. We enjoy an above average lifestyle - without her income I'm not sure I could even afford a decent place on my own. I think my friend would be willing to move in with me (assuming she gets a divorce) but she doesn't work so would only have whatever alimony/child support comes her way after the divorce. Sarah says her husband does reasonably well though so we could probably enjoy a comfortable lifestyle especially if she were able to keep their house. But she also has two young boys and I'm not sure I'm ready to be in a step-dad type of relationship.

I know my wife would be devastated if I asked for a divorce. I have asked her to get counseling but she refuses. She's a good person and I do care about her but I'm just not happy. Should I do what's best for her or what's best for me?

– Unhappy, Mass.

http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/relationships/blog/2012/10/i_want_to_leave_my_wife.html?comments=all#readerComm


A friend posted this on FB.  I read it disgusted with this POS and clicked out of it,   until it dawned on me - what is his DU name?  

Unhappy sounds like a misfit.  

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Offline Karin

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2012, 08:03:03 AM »
It absolutely does sound like a freeloading DUmmie, who never stops to consider consequences, except in matters of free money. 
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Offline dane

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2012, 08:04:41 AM »
Quote from: formerlurker on October 09, 2012, 05:17:52 AM
http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/relationships/blog/2012/10/i_want_to_leave_my_wife.html?comments=all#readerComm


A friend posted this on FB.  I read it disgusted with this POS and clicked out of it,   until it dawned on me - what is his DU name?  

Unhappy sounds like a misfit.  


Unhappy sounds like a misfit to normal people - for DUmmies he is a perfect 'fit'.  If posted with the DUmmies he would receive multiple hugs and healing lights and positive thoughts.
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This too shall pass.

Offline Gina

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2012, 08:05:33 AM »
he is just sticking around for the money?  after 25 years.  I hope she finds out and kicks him to the curb.  He shouldn't get anything if a judge sees his history.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2012, 08:41:50 AM »
Quote from: Gina on October 09, 2012, 08:05:33 AM
he is just sticking around for the money?  after 25 years.  I hope she finds out and kicks him to the curb.  He shouldn't get anything if a judge sees his history.

One of the local divorce attornies around Albany says in his commericals, "Facebook is the first stop for the wife's attorney."
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Offline Gina

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2012, 08:42:25 AM »
 :panic:  THERE IS ONE HERE TOO! 
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Offline RobJohnson

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2012, 10:02:11 AM »
WOW. The guy's wife stuck by him after he admitted to cheating on her and now she is having some minor issues and he wants to bail. This is when she needs someone the most.

POS is right!

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Offline Gina

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2012, 10:03:33 AM »
I think this guy's wife needs to be tracked down and given the Dear Meridith post  O-)
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Offline Chris_

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2012, 10:10:02 AM »
Wow, there's over a thousand comments at the paper. 

I think his DU name is Straight Story. :rofl:
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Offline RobJohnson

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2012, 10:12:34 AM »
Quote from: Gina on October 09, 2012, 10:03:33 AM
I think this guy's wife needs to be tracked down and given the Dear Meridith post  O-)

I think I need to move in with his wife.  O-)
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #10 on: October 09, 2012, 10:19:43 AM »
What a lowlife.

 :hammer:
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Offline Kimberly

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #11 on: October 09, 2012, 11:22:06 AM »
Sounds like Atman, except I don't know if he has any children.
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Offline Gina

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #12 on: October 09, 2012, 11:22:44 AM »
Quote from: Kimberly on October 09, 2012, 11:22:06 AM
Sounds like Atman, except I don't know if he has any children.

Let's hope he didn't breed.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #13 on: October 09, 2012, 12:21:34 PM »
I think I'm goin' to be sick! If I ran into this puke I'd kick his ass to the curb for his wife! What a POS!

How can you be with someone 25 years, cheat on her, get forgiven, and then not stand behind her when she is havin' difficulties?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give me his ****in' address!
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #14 on: October 09, 2012, 01:13:04 PM »
A woman who'd marry a DUmpmonkey?

I'd want to leave her, too.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #15 on: October 09, 2012, 01:44:52 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on October 09, 2012, 01:13:04 PM
A woman who'd marry a DUmpmonkey?

I'd want to leave her, too.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........yer prolly right!
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #16 on: October 09, 2012, 04:36:04 PM »
Why is he even talking about his marriage life on DU?  :mental: :???:
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #17 on: October 10, 2012, 04:11:27 AM »
Well, that says a lot about him....he's definately a democrat looking for a free ride.
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Offline formerlurker

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #18 on: October 10, 2012, 04:41:19 AM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on October 10, 2012, 04:11:27 AM
Well, that says a lot about him....he's definately a democrat looking for a free ride.

.. and just where have you been young man?   You know how worried you had us?   
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2012, 06:00:52 AM »
Quote from: formerlurker on October 09, 2012, 05:17:52 AM
what is his DU name?

Stinky the Dude comes to mind.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: I want to leave my wife
« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2012, 07:15:41 AM »
Quote from: formerlurker on October 10, 2012, 04:41:19 AM
.. and just where have you been young man?   You know how worried you had us?   

My computer died.....seems my lifetime guarantee was better than its.
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"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin
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