Vlada Mitty was embarrassed; forgot her native language

[Mr Mannn]

I think it was her attempt at saying look at me I'm an international reporter.

You would think Mexico would have some literary standards.

[obumazombie]

That was my question as well. I mean its California for Gods sake. You can't swing a cat anywhere without hitting some sign in both English or Spannish. I'm thinking this is her way of saying "I'm to stupid to remember how to speake,read or write any language".

Dead cats work better.

[franksolich]

You know, I suddenly thought of something.

And that story better NOT involve going down to Ensenada, there are way too many personal safety concerns on that one.

The history books are chock-full of journalists braving peril and hazard, risking their very lives, to get stories.

Richard Harding Davis, Junius Wood, Robert St. John, and too many others to mention.

They ran great dangers to get their stories, and became famous because of it.

I think this would be good for Vlada Mitty's career advancement.

[GOBUCKS]

They ran great dangers to get their stories, and became famous because of it.

They didn't do it for a free internet blog that no one reads.

[obumazombie]

They didn't do it for a free internet blog that no one reads.

They might jam their fingers on a keyboard.

[franksolich]

They didn't do it for a free internet blog that no one reads.

Well, what I'm thinking is that Vlada's so multi-skilled, so multi-talented--she even carries a knife around with her, for God's sake, and knows how to use it--that she'd have an easier time getting a story out of Ensenada than you or I would.

Hell, given all her expertise and experience, she'd probably get the story getting less harm done her than a Marine commando or Navy SEAL would.

I think the oblate spheroid should go down into Ensenada.

The world needs to know what's going on down there, and Vlada's the one who could bring the story in.

[franksolich]

I thought about this during the middle of the night.

I think Vlada Mitty should go down into Ensenada, to find out what's happening there and write about it.

I know nothing about "Ensenada," but I'm guessing it's a lawless area of Mexico, run by the mafia or something.

franksolich did something similar during the early and mid-1990s, when he went to the socialist paradises of the workers and peasants.  No rule of law, rampant corruption, decay and rot, people going hungry, rip-roaring inflation, infrastructure all broken down, rampant crime and murder, firearms and bombs ubiquitous, mayhem, blood and guts and shit all over the place.

And I stayed there one month shy of two years.

Never mind why--I don't regret I did it, but I wouldn't do it again--the "why" was covered first by the newspapers of eastern Nebraska at the time, and and the "why" has since been explained in the Sandhills forum here.  Suffice it to say I was bored, and sought excitement.

Anyway, having done something similar, I can understand Vlada's fears, but at the same time I think she can do it.  After all, she has certain advantages franksolich didn't have in his own adventure.

To wit:

Intelligence
-Vlada insists she's smarter than God, franksolich insists only that he's smarter than Atman

Hearing
-Vlada yes, franksolich no; utterly deaf

Access to [or the Ability to Use] Telephonic, Radio, and Internet Communication
-Vlada yes, franksolich no

Knowledge of the Language
-Vlada yes, franksolich, absolutely no idea

Knowledge of the Lay of the Land
-Vlada yes (she was born in Mexico after all), franksolich no

Financial Resources
-Vlada yes, franksolich went with $187 tucked in his pocket, and no way to get any more

Relatives in the Country Who Could Bail One Out of Trouble
-Vlada yes, franksolich no

Relatives in the United States Who Could Bail One Out of Trouble
-Vlada yes, franksolich no

Knowledge and Expertise in Self-Defense
-Vlada yes, franksolich none whatsoever

Well, I lasted 23 months despite those disadvantages; surely Cub Reporter Vlada Mitty could survive Ensenada long enough to get a news story, and the subsequent fame and fortune that comes when one's willing to hazard perilous long-shot risks, and succeeds.

I really think Vlada should go and get that story, whatever it is, down in Ensenada; it'd surely give her more material than what she gets covering the San Diego city council or hippies protesting a nuclear power plant.

[GOBUCKS]

I think she'd be relatively safe, what with being such a small target.

Guys in drug shootouts, holding their pistols horizontal to the ground, aren't marksmen.

[BlueStateSaint]

Intelligence
-Vlada insists she's smarter than God, franksolich insists only that he's smarter than Atman

I almost spat half-chewed chicken all over my monitor when I read that.  H5!

[Airwolf]

for making me laugh.

Your welcome.

[Karin]

"I am very intelligent.
I have done many great things.

Finished."

I liked  "Soy Sauce is smart.
Henchmen are very great.
Fish."

better.   

[Skul]

I liked  "Soy Sauce is smart.
Henchmen are very great.
Fish."

better.   

Flattery will get you everywhere.   

[franksolich]

I think she'd be relatively safe, what with being such a small target.

Guys in drug shootouts, holding their pistols horizontal to the ground, aren't marksmen.

I also thought of two other things, Vlada in Ensenada and franksolich in the anarchistic torn-apart socialist paradises:

Foreknowledge of Risks
-Vlada's acutely aware of the risks associated with going down into Ensenada, and can take precautionary measures so as to avoid, or at least, ameliorate those hazards
-franksolich had no idea, no idea at all, what he was going into; it was all a total surprise to me, and of course not aware of the perils, I hadn't taken any precautionary or pre-emptive measures, having instead to deal with things as they abruptly popped up out of nowhere

That should make Vlada Mitty more comfortable with covering a story in Ensenada.

Personal Vulnerability
-Vlada is a woman, and being a woman presents complications.  No matter how "strong" or formidable or repulsive a woman is, simply by being a femme one's exposed to dangers and perils men don't have to deal with
-franksolich is deaf, which makes one a sitting duck to everyone coming my way

It might then seem more dangerous for Vlada Mitty than for franksolich, but I beg to differ.  Even if one is a fully-grown, fully developed, member of the male species, one might as well be a paralytic parked in a wheelchair.

You know, I'm excited about the prospects of Vlada going down into Ensenada to get a story; if franksolich could do what he did, surely Vlada with her much greater intelligence and wits, and all the abovementioned advantages not had by myself, she should do pretty good, coming back to Skins's island to glory and revel in the accolades of the primitives (and we decent and civilized people) for having undertaken such an adventure, and succeeded.

I can hardly wait for when she announces she's going down into Ensenada.

[franksolich]

I've been deceived.

I never bothered checking "Ensenada," because given the tone of Vlada Mitty's remarks, I just assumed it was a dangerous place, probably dominated by the Mexican mafia or something, rampant crime and civil breakdown and unrest.

I just assumed that.

Only minutes ago, I nadined "Ensenada."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ensenada,_Baja_California

WTF?

It sounds like San Diego South.

Why would Vlada insinuate it's a dangerous place to go?

Damn.

If going down into Ensenada presents a dangerous challenge to Vlada Mitty, probably she's scared shitless to merely tie her shoes when she puts them on.

[BattleHymn]

If going down into Ensenada presents a dangerous challenge to Vlada Mitty, probably she's scared shitless to merely tie her shoes when she puts them on.

I always assumed nads was a strictly flip-flop wearing type of person.     

[franksolich]

I always assumed nads was a strictly flip-flop wearing type of person.     

I can't believe it.

From the way Vlada made hints about Ensenada, I'd automatically assumed it was a bad place, with crime lords and war lords gunning it out all day long, and that it's not a good idea to be a mere civilian caught in between them.

Well.

For nadinbrzezinski to retain franksolich's respect, she's got to go cover a story in a truly dangerous place in Mexico.

[Airwolf]

I always assumed nads was a strictly flip-flop wearing type of person.     

I always thought she wore old Jump boots from the goodwill store down the street from her favorite bar.

[BattleHymn]

I always thought she wore old Jump boots from the goodwill store down the street from her favorite bar.

Well, as long as they don't require any bending over to lace up, I could see those, too. 

[obumazombie]

It's insulting to insinuate that nadin doesn't know every square millimeter of the earth's geography like the back of her hand.

[BattleHymn]

It's insulting to insinuate that nadin doesn't know every square millimeter of the earth's geography like the back of her hand.

Naw, that one's too easy...

[franksolich]

It's insulting to insinuate that nadin doesn't know every square millimeter of the earth's geography like the back of her hand.

I suspect the only geography Vlada Mitty really knows is Mexico City, a road-map of San Diego, and maybe Israel, as she allegedly worked on a kibbutz there.

I'm still pissed off about what I found out about Ensenada; from the oblate spheroid's inference, I'd thought it was a dangerous place.  If Ensenda's a dangerous place, then Vlada must shake in her boots at the prospect of covering a story in Disneyland or the toy department at Macy's in Manhattan.

I'd thought Ensenada was one of those places down in Mexico where the drug lords, the war lords, and the crime lords are fighting it out, where there's been tons of decapitated bodies and lynched bodies stacked in heaps.

That's the sort of place Cub Reporter Vlada should go and cover, so as to make a name for herself in journalism.  My own knowledge of the geography of Mexico is rather sketchy--Mexico's never been one of those things that rocked my chair, rowed my boat, or pushed my buttons--and so I'm not sure where one finds such a place.

I'm also surprised that Vlada doesn't mention Tijuana, just blocks away from where she lives in San Diego; if she's got no fears for her safety in Tijuana, why she's so scared at the prospect of Ensenada escapes me.

[BlueStateSaint]

I'm also surprised that Vlada doesn't mention Tijuana, just blocks away from where she lives in San Diego; if she's got no fears for her safety in Tijuana, why she's so scared at the prospect of Ensenada escapes me.

More of a chance of Montezuma's Revenge there?

[BattleHymn]

More of a chance of Montezuma's Revenge there?

Montezuma gets his revenge every time someone reads one of nad's posts.

[Skul]

Everytime Gnads pops off her anu mouth, it looks and smells like Montezuma's revenge.

[obumazombie]

If we examined the origins of dysentery, it would lead to a nadin dimensional conversion factor.