Author Topic: Are we having pun yet?  (Read 2482 times)

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Offline Chris_

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Are we having pun yet?
« on: May 12, 2012, 08:52:14 PM »
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline obumazombie

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Re: Are we having pun yet?
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2012, 08:53:54 PM »
Drinking beer makes you more intelligent, it sure made Budweiser.
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline Chris_

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Re: Are we having pun yet?
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2012, 08:59:21 PM »
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline CG6468

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Re: Are we having pun yet?
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2012, 03:30:56 PM »
He married the brewmaster's daughter, and now she is sadder budweiser.
Illinois, south of the gun controllers in Chi town

Offline Chris_

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Re: Are we having pun yet?
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2012, 03:34:29 PM »
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. :lmao:
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline obumazombie

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Re: Are we having pun yet?
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2012, 03:35:23 PM »
He offered a toast to her honor
And all night long
he was on her and off her.
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline CG6468

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Re: Are we having pun yet?
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2012, 12:35:45 PM »
There was once an Indian squaw who spent all day just sitting on a hippopotamus hide. Since she did nothing else, she grew to be very obese.

The squaw in the next tepee had 2 sons, each of whom was a giant of a warrior, and when they were in camp, they each sat on deer hides when they were relaxing.

The other warriors started arguing about who weighed more – the squaw or the 2 warriors who were brothers. Since they had no scale, they approached the medicine man to settle their arguments.

The medicine man studied the situation, and he then proclaimed: “The weight of the squaw exactly equals the combined weight of the 2 warriors.”

The tribe demanded to know how the medicine man knew this to be true. He responded, “It’s very simple. I just used the Pythagorean theorem. ‘The squaw of the hippopotamus equals the sons of the squaw of the other two hides.’”

 :overreaction:

:bolt:
Illinois, south of the gun controllers in Chi town

Offline Chris_

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Re: Are we having pun yet?
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2012, 01:00:56 PM »
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.