How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he's washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.
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Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."
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Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"
"Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."
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Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
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How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None - It's a hardare problem
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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
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There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
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A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.
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"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
very long pause….
"Java."
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Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
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Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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