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Author Topic: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before  (Read 3241 times)

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Offline JakeStyle

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Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« on: January 27, 2012, 11:06:17 PM »
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Fri Jan 27, 2012, 11:54 PM

Star Member JFN1

So I'm Grabbing Some Cheese At The Grocery Store...
...for grilled cheese and tomato soup (yumm!) for dinner tonight. I'm in a rather sagacious mood, one of those moods in which many things strike me as funny, when normally, they probably would not - which usually leads to many, many bad jokes issuing from my freely flapping gums.

At the checkout I am cheerfully greeted by a middle-aged woman, who scans my few items and pleasantly reports the total. As I am digging through my pocket for change, I notice a "Vote Newt" button on her shirt, peeking out from behind her checker's vest/smock/whatever the hell it is. I hand over my bills and change and almost - almost - ask her if she plans to vote for Mittens - I had a whole routine worked out, along classic "Who's on first?" lines. But somehow, with truly heroic effort, I manage to restrain myself and say nothing.

I grab my bag 'o groceries, and as I turn to leave, the checker calls over my shoulder, "Have a blessed evening!"

Sigh.

The words echo through my skull, and for some reason I instantly think about Tebow's "blessed" football season, and the bible verse he had displayed as part of his uniform in Denver's last (losing) game of the season (ah, the hilarious irony...).

For the record - I am not against anyone having their religion. Really. I do, however, resent having someone else's religion jammed down my throat - I don't like being used in that way. It bugs me. A lot.

And given my mood (smart-ass meter off the scale), before I can muster the discipline to stop myself, I turn, smile broadly at the woman as I catch her eyes, and say, sweetly, "And Satan be with you," then turn, groceries in hand, and head out the door.

As I am leaving, the woman, in a voice decidedly not so pleasant now, loudly calls after me, "What did you say?" And then just as loudly and even more unpleasantly, I hear her ask someone else (I don't know who), "Did you hear what he just said to me?" I am trying so hard not to giggle out loud as I hit the parking lot. Almost made it, too...

I know...I know...and even if I regret the immaturity and lack of discipline which allowed it...man, that was freakin' fun...the look on her face...priceless...I know, I'm so bad...I wonder if she'll be praying for me tonight...

 :whatever:

Yeah that really happened, huh?  It wasn't just some fantasy you had while you were browsing the DUmp?
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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2012, 11:12:09 PM »
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cherokeeprogressive
4. That shit NEVER happens to me.

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I guess I go to the wrong grocery stores...

If that's not the truth! The grocery stores are so darn busy around here, no 1 has time to chit chat, plus no way would a grocery store allow someone to wear something political under the smock.
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Offline JakeStyle

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2012, 11:14:42 PM »
It makes me angry that she claims she was shopping for cheese.  i like cheese, and I don't like that the DUmmy had to use it to create her silly story.  In the immortal words of Chis Turkelton: "'Cause if you gonna make a cheese run, holla at me, dawg!"
« Last Edit: January 27, 2012, 11:39:55 PM by JakeStyle »
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Offline DLR Pyro

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2012, 11:17:29 PM »
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cherokeeprogressive
4. That shit NEVER happens to me.

That shit NEVER happens period.
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Offline JakeStyle

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2012, 11:31:05 PM »
Crazy cat lady chimes in with a bouncy of her own:

Quote
Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:25 AM

undergroundpanther (11,118 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
25. A fundie run in..

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One day when I was walking thru town,a lady was on the side of the road clearly upset and I asked if she was ok,she said her car broke down.
This was before cell phones. She said she had no clue where a gas station was and she needed a pay phone to call her husband.Being a local I knew a gas station was up ahead further,and it would be a downhill push. So I told her to steer,and I would push her car to the station. I noticed christian stickers& shit. But I figure she needed help...so. She was so happy to be helped out got her change for the phone too. Then she told me I was such a good christian.I told her I was no christian and assuming I was a christian was insulting to me. She asked why,I showed her my goat of Mendes,and said I am a Satanist,and before she had a chance to say she'd pray for me..I said, Not every kindhearted person is a christian,so maybe Satan will have sympathy for you in Hell,Hail Satan,and the cornu,She looked totally confused.

We've seen the pics UGP, no self respecting person is going to have anything to do with you.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2012, 11:35:22 PM by JakeStyle »
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2012, 11:37:42 PM »
Quote from: JakeStyle on January 27, 2012, 11:31:05 PM
Crazy cat lady chimes in with a bouncy of her own:

We've seen the pics UGP, no self respecting person is going to have anything to do with you.

No way.

Nearly everybody's seen photographs of the subway cat.

If such a thing approached me under such circumstances, I'd run away, even abandoning the car.
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Offline JBevel

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2012, 11:44:35 PM »
These goons just HATE Christianity. There was NO reason for her to snark at someone hoping that she "have a blessed day".   Do people REALLY get down like that!?  Seriously!
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Offline nunuvyurbiznez

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2012, 12:21:08 AM »
Query: are there even "Vote Newt" buttons in existence already?
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Offline Rainbow Rising

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2012, 01:10:55 AM »
I'm lucky if I even get a smile out of the cashiers in my local supermarket, never mind a "Have a blessed evening."  Maybe the niceness has been beaten out of them by jerks like this DUmmie.
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2012, 04:42:08 AM »
Quote from: JBevel on January 27, 2012, 11:44:35 PM
These goons just HATE Christianity. There was NO reason for her to snark at someone hoping that she "have a blessed day".   Do people REALLY get down like that!?  Seriously!

But, but, the cashier was JAMMING her religion down their throats!   :lmao:

If the cashier said "allah ahkbar" or whatever, everything would have been peachy.
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Offline MrsSmith

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2012, 04:54:35 AM »
Imagine the DUmmy's horror if she'd been wearing a cross on a necklace or some other completely offensive Christian symbol.  What is this world coming to when those horrible fundies can actually display crosses or say words like "blessed."  There oughta be a law...

 :ohnoes: :sarcasm:
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Offline ChuckJ

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2012, 05:15:42 AM »
Quote
Fri Jan 27, 2012, 11:54 PM

Star Member JFN1

So I'm Grabbing Some Cheese At The Grocery Store...
...for grilled cheese and tomato soup (yumm!) for dinner tonight. I'm in a rather sagacious mood, one of those moods in which many things strike me as funny, when normally, they probably would not - which usually leads to many, many bad jokes issuing from my freely flapping gums.

At the checkout I am cheerfully greeted by a middle-aged woman, who scans my few items and pleasantly reports the total. As I am digging through my pocket for change, I notice a "Vote Newt" button on her shirt, peeking out from behind her checker's vest/smock/whatever the hell it is. I hand over my bills and change and almost - almost - ask her if she plans to vote for Mittens - I had a whole routine worked out, along classic "Who's on first?" lines. But somehow, with truly heroic effort, I manage to restrain myself and say nothing.

I grab my bag 'o groceries, and as I turn to leave, the checker calls over my shoulder, "Have a blessed evening!"

Sigh.

The words echo through my skull, and for some reason I instantly think about Tebow's "blessed" football season, and the bible verse he had displayed as part of his uniform in Denver's last (losing) game of the season (ah, the hilarious irony...).

For the record - I am not against anyone having their religion. Really. I do, however, resent having someone else's religion jammed down my throat - I don't like being used in that way. It bugs me. A lot.

And given my mood (smart-ass meter off the scale), before I can muster the discipline to stop myself, I turn, smile broadly at the woman as I catch her eyes, and say, sweetly, "And Satan be with you," then turn, groceries in hand, and head out the door.

As I am leaving, the woman, in a voice decidedly not so pleasant now, loudly calls after me, "What did you say?" And then just as loudly and even more unpleasantly, I hear her ask someone else (I don't know who), "Did you hear what he just said to me?" I am trying so hard not to giggle out loud as I hit the parking lot. Almost made it, too...

I know...I know...and even if I regret the immaturity and lack of discipline which allowed it...man, that was freakin' fun...the look on her face...priceless...I know, I'm so bad...I wonder if she'll be praying for me tonight...

So in this pretend, made-up story the cashier "jammed" religion down the DUmmie's throat by simply saying "have a blessed evening"?

I wish I would have been the made-up cashier in this poorly fabricated fairy tale. Since I try to be considerate of others, in order NOT to "jam" religion down the DUmmie's throat I would have said, "go play in traffic you useless piece of hypocritical, lying pond scum who is a parasitic drain on society."

It's sort of strange though. The male DUmmies seem to enjoy everything jammed down their throats EXCEPT religion IF the religion is Christianity.
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Offline vesta111

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2012, 05:45:49 AM »
Quote from: MrsSmith on January 28, 2012, 04:54:35 AM
Imagine the DUmmy's horror if she'd been wearing a cross on a necklace or some other completely offensive Christian symbol.  What is this world coming to when those horrible fundies can actually display crosses or say words like "blessed."  There oughta be a law...

 :ohnoes: :sarcasm:

There are laws in some High Schools that kids and teachers cannot display jewelery of the Cross or the Star of David.

How ever the children of Islam can wear their head scarves and the male hats of their faith.

Remember not so long ago a teacher came unwound when a student in their class  sneezed and another said  " Bless You" ?

Will an Asian student be allowed to wear a necklace with a Buddha Pendent, what about the kids that wear satanic symbols or the the Santeria beaded necklasses ????

This is an assult on the Judo Christian community taking baby steps to take us over.

Some Great warrior back in the time before time once said, " first we conquer the people, then we kill their Gods and force them to worship ours."  In just one generation the invaded people will support them.

NGO shows how this was done by defiling the temples of those captured, the beliefs of the people and their places of worship converted to the temples of the Gods the invaders worshiped.  

The Holy Torah burned and a Crucifix placed where the Torah had been for 100 years.    Temples of Islam built on top of Jewish synagogues in the Holy land.

Sad, this becomes a fight for religious freedom here in America of all places, I thought all that crap was over and done with 200 years ago.    Now it seems we are regressing to the past and not able to move into the future.

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Offline dutch508

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2012, 06:41:59 AM »
So, this crazy ducked up looking freak says to me, "may Satan give you a wonderfully evening", after I told them, " have a blessed day."
I replied, " you know, my God was your god's boss until he fired him for being an ass."

And then this cop jumped out of the bushes and everyone in the Walmart garden center broke into Händel'"s Messiah".
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Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2012, 07:00:52 AM »
Quote from: JakeStyle on January 27, 2012, 11:06:17 PM
Link

 :whatever:

Yeah that really happened, huh?  It wasn't just some fantasy you had while you were browsing the DUmp?

And they tell us that liberalism isn't a mental disorder.
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Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #15 on: January 28, 2012, 07:08:09 AM »
Quote from: dutch508 on January 28, 2012, 06:41:59 AM
So, this crazy ducked up looking freak says to me, "may Satan give you a wonderfully evening", after I told them, " have a blessed day."
I replied, " you know, my God was your god's boss until he fired him for being an ass."

And then this cop jumped out of the bushes and everyone in the Walmart garden center broke into Händel'"s Messiah".


Hi 5.
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Offline vesta111

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #16 on: January 28, 2012, 08:06:39 AM »
Quote from: dutch508 on January 28, 2012, 06:41:59 AM
So, this crazy ducked up looking freak says to me, "may Satan give you a wonderfully evening", after I told them, " have a blessed day."
I replied, " you know, my God was your god's boss until he fired him for being an ass."

And then this cop jumped out of the bushes and everyone in the Walmart garden center broke into Händel'"s Messiah".


Can I play too???

Shopping at local store there was one young teenager all decked out in scarfs and head cover behind one check out.

Big sign at front,  NO PORK PROUDUCTS at this check out. The lines were backing up and a worker waved me with few purchases to the no pork line to keep things moving smoothly.

All I had in my cart were vegetables, dog food and some cans of Spam.    After I had paid and my stuff was bagged I apologised to the young girl, sorry about the Pork products, ----Spam and dog food, she went white as a sheet and fainted on the spot.   

As I wheeled my cart out there was much commotion going on behind me,  some people were taking advantage of the hubbub and taking full baskets out of the store without paying.  One dude I noticed was walking funny as he had stuffed a few live Lobsters in his pants.

I sat in my car for a few minutes watching the show and soon the police came, a good 20 customers had eloped without paying for their goods and others from the Islam comunity were rushing to the young girls side to comfort her, or kill her for handling pork even in bags or tins.  I left when the Ambulance arrived to cart her off for shock and dismay.

I now have 65 cans of Spam in the pantry, everytime I shop and see a NO PORK check out, I buy a couple cans of Spam and apologise to the checker for my buying pork in their station. :tongue: :tongue:

Who says Christians cannot defend themselves any way they can.

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Offline Flame

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #17 on: January 28, 2012, 08:17:53 AM »
"Have a blessed day"...she didn't say blessed by who...could have been God...could have been a goddess...heck could have been Buhda....

Sounds like the idiot dummy was pretty presumptuous.
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2012, 08:51:54 AM »
Political buttons on a work uniform?  Yeah, not friggin likely.

Unless you're a union employee pimping 'Rats.  That's about the only time I've ever seen it.
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Offline Ogre

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #19 on: January 28, 2012, 09:25:57 AM »
Quote from: NHSparky on January 28, 2012, 08:51:54 AM
Political buttons on a work uniform?  Yeah, not friggin likely.

Unless you're a union employee pimping 'Rats.  That's about the only time I've ever seen it.

That is just what I was thinking.  No way a union allows a Republican political button on the job.
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2012, 09:59:19 AM »
Quote from:
JFN1

...and even if I regret the immaturity and lack of discipline which allowed it...

No you don't.  Immaturity and lack of discipline is where you dwell.  You're a liberal.

.
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Offline jukin

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Re: Supermarket bouncy from some DUmbass I've never seen before
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2012, 02:15:59 PM »
Quote
For the record - I am not against anyone having their religion. Really. I do, however, resent having someone else's religion jammed down my throat - I don't like being used in that way. It bugs me. A lot.

But jamming down government control and socialism down our throats is SUPER. Even though there are no Christians point a gun or a lawyer at you if you do not comply. FOAD DUchebag.
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