Pedro spins a bouncy

[Carl]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002167492

Atman (23,352 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

 
Two flights from hell in one day...

Last edited Sat Jan 14, 2012, 08:16 AM USA/ET - Edit history (2)
 So I get up wicked early Friday morning to catch a flight to Orlando, attending the annual Surf Expo -- I was actually a VIP guest at the Surfing Hall of Fame induction ceremony! Pretty cool, but I digress.

I'm still wearing "the boot," recovering from tendon surgery 10 weeks ago, so I arranged for pre-boarding so I could secure the bulkhead seat. Dr. said it was best if I didn't fly yet, but if I was going to, make sure I have leg room, and move around a lot. So I deliberately booked a flight that changed planes in Baltimore, with a two hour layover during which I could stretch and take a break.

It's early, I'm looking to catch up zzz's. No one takes the seat next to me because there is no room in the overhead and you're not allowed any loose items in those seats -- this proved to be a deal killer for at least half a dozen women who tried to sit there, but couldn't part with their purses.

Finally, just as the plane is getting ready to leave, surprisingly NOT 100% full, a large, bearded gentlemen ambles on board and, you guessed it, chooses the still-empty middle seat. There goes my arm rest. But then, the introductions start, the questions start. The deep southern accent...turns out he was a long-haul trucker going to help a buddy paint a funny car.

Somehow, for some reason, he brought up the subject of the urinating marines. He was outraged that anyone cared about what these brave men did to a couple of Taliban that they'd already killed anyway. Ugh. I managed to avoid getting into it, instead responding with various grunts, sighs, shrugs and tsk tsk-ing. But this crap continued for the whole flight. I arrived in Baltimore tired, with a stiff neck from having to lean to one the entire time so he had room.

Flight two began in a nearly identical fashion. First an elderly gentleman took the window seat, no one wanted the middle seat until the plane became full. That's when Mr. Salesman in a perfectly pressed expensive suit got aboard, "charmed" the flight attendants with winks and small talk...and moved into that middle seat. Without wasting a moment, his hand is extended, "Hi, I'm Tom," huge phony salesman grin. "What did you do to your foot." So I told him.

Just my ****ing luck, the guy sells replacement knees. He proceeds to tell me all about my surgery and what the docs did to me. He started talking the politics of health care, and what he'd do. That's when I broke one of my rules and told him that I work in politics, so be careful where he was going with this. That just cranked him up a notch.

The inevitable "what do you do in politics?" came up, and when I told him I was an advertising art director for the Democrats, he actually got up, went back to his carry-on and brought me a stack of his sales literature, asking my opinion and to quote what it would cost to redesign.

This, as on the previous flight, never stopped for nearly 2 1/2 hours. It really creeped me out when showed up in the bathroom after we'd landed in Orlando, took the urinal next to me and continued chatting. Then walked with me to the monorail, even asked if I was renting a car and what rate I got.

WTF is it with people? When I travel alone, I look at it as a zen-like thing, a solitary journey. I guess that was my first mistake.

So many lies.

Please correct me but does any airline other then Southwest have unassigned seating?
I went to Orlando in November,nonstop from Albany NY in about 3 hours.
Funny this idiot couldn`t find the same but had to take a flight from Ct to Baltimore (probably less then an hour in the air) then wait 2 hours for a flight just slightly shorter in time then if he had flown nonstop out of Hartford which says 3:15 on Southwests website.

[Ballygrl]

It really creeped me out when showed up in the bathroom after we'd landed in Orlando, took the urinal next to me and continued chatting.

Can't this be considered homophobic?

[MrsSmith]

I don't fly a lot, but out of all the flights I've been on, I've had one "seatmate" that wanted to talk.  The whole conversation lasted about 10 minutes.  Somehow, this "winner" gets two non-stop talkers in a row.  Right.   

[andhe78]

I love the part where the women didn't want to sit next to him, and he thought it was because they didn't want to give up their purses.

I may be odd, but I've always liked talking to people while traveling.  It's one reason I usually take a train if possible, the people seem friendlier.  Was in NYC last year, and it seemed odd to ride the subway and everyone just ignores everyone else.

[jtyangel]

I understand Pedro's idea of the solitary journey...I kind of take that attitude too and it's because normally I"m surrounded by people so I like the idea of alone(at least in my own head) time. Is he really that much of a pushover though? I usually will be pleasant with a 'talker', introduce ourselves, and engage for a little bit and then I politely tell them it's been nice to talk to them and that I'd like to get a little rest for a while having a long journey and day in front of me and usually having got up very early. I've never had anyone take it wrong and I make it a point to engage them again later in the travels as it isn't anything personal, I just want a little quiet time. Haven't had a person yet who misunderstood or had a problem with that and they were always pleasant when reengaged later on. There's nothing wrong with being honest with someone, it's not like your calling them an a$$hole or anything, you are just excusing yourself for a little bit so you can relax inward, read, listen to music, sleep. The people who wnt to talk are always going to take a chance to find someone to engage them...they aren't pests--some are just nervous about flying, lonely, enjoy getting to know new people, or like the distraction. No big deal.

[GOBUCKS]

On airplanes, I'm either reading or sleeping.
On maybe one flight out of twenty, I get a chatty seatmate.
I just smile, say hello, and go back to reading. Not once has anyone persisted after that.
It just doesn't happen. Anyone who is pestered by a seatmate encouraged it.
It's like striking up a conversation with a telemarketer.

[Tess Anderson]

"Hi, I'm Tom.  What did you do to your foot."



 

[shadeaux]

That's when Mr. Salesman in a perfectly pressed expensive suit got aboard, "charmed" the flight attendants with winks and small talk...and moved into that middle seat. Without wasting a moment, his hand is extended, "Hi, I'm Tom," huge phony salesman grin.

 

Was he wearing his 1%er button and sucking on a cigar ?

[GOBUCKS]

Was he wearing his 1%er button and sucking on a cigar ?

Wearing a monocle, white spats, and a tie with a big dollar sign on it.

[shadeaux]

I thought the same thing.   

[franksolich]

Oh man.

Everything my evil twin wanted to say was in the first paragraph, all else being fluff and junk.

I was actually a VIP guest at the Surfing Hall of Fame induction ceremony!

He's boasted about this before; the trust fund kid's even been published in surfing magazines.  This was back in the 1980s, and two summers ago I actually managed to find a few copies at a bicycle-shop garage sale; bought a whole box of somesuch magazines (about 200 of them) for fifty cents.  Pedro Picasso idolizes the rich and the idle--naturally, because he's one of the 1%. 

Especially sickening was the profile of some guy who'd been a physician who quit the business while still young, just to surf.  He "homeschooled" his kids, taking them out of the formal educational system.  He schooled them solely in surfing, nothing else (i.e., reading, writing, arithmetic, &c., &c., &c.). 

Out of curiosity, at the time I nadined the guy; he's pretty old now, and his kids disowned him.  He was at the time engaged in "surfing" for the Palestine Liberation Organization off the shores of Israel.

A total lightweight dickhead being profiled by another total lightweight dickhead.

[sybilll]

Moron, he brought up the urinating Marines because 79% of Americans, and some liberals (ala Bill Maher, Rob Reiner), have ZERO sympathy for the F'ing Taliban.  You Marxists that spend your every waking moment in the myopic echo chamber of DU have no idea that a good many of American patriots would not spit on you were you on fire, much less agree with your point of view.   

[Ogre]

Horrible bouncy, it does start with so, but quickly goes down hill from there.  No cops (not even the dreaded TSA), no bushes (not even a mention of Bush), no applause from appreciative onlookers (confused strangers), and more importantly no conversion even though he had a medical salesman's (read as Republican or at the very least Libertarian) ear to bend with all his dazzling insight.

I swear the DUmmies are just mailing it in now, they don't try to be convincing any more, and the stories have certainly lost their entertainment value.

[Evil_Conservative]

He could have been flying on Allegiant.  They don't have assigned seats unless you chose to pay the extra fee for an assigned one.  I don't fly enough to understand the gripes of strangers talking to you.  But my husband has told me stories...

However, this IS a DUmmie we are talking about.  So I doubt any of this happened the way he said it did.

[Karin]

Was he wearing his 1%er button and sucking on a cigar ?

Lit with a $100 bill. 

Where is Pedro surfing to gain "hall of fame" status?  Long Island Sound is like a lake. 

[franksolich]

Lit with a $100 bill. 

Where is Pedro surfing to gain "hall of fame" status?  Long Island Sound is like a lake. 

At the age of 52, and a little on the heavy side now, I doubt my evil twin surfs any more.

But, like about thirty years ago, when he was more lithe, he was into it quite a bit.  Lived only to surf.

That's a thing about Pedro; one of the 1%, he thinks only of frivolous things.