Hi, and welcome back!
Today, I’ll be starting in on a 3- part series of Christmas specials made by the guys behind ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000.’ MST3K had two Christmas specials, plus they then produced another one just two years ago under their new company Rifftrax.
The whole premise behind ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ is a man named Joel and his robot friends Tom Servo and Crow are stuck in space, and frequently forced to watch horrible B- Movies, to which they then make hilarious commentary. This Christmas special has them watching the film ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
For the actual movie, ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’ is an uber- bad film (And with a misleading title, as Santa doesn’t really “Conquer†anything in it) in which the Martians are upset that their children seem so depressed and unable to do anything but watch TV. They go to this old guy who’s I guess kind of the old wise man of Mars, and he tells them basically that things suck on Mars because they don’t have a Santa Claus to help their children learn to have fun. So, the selfish jerks decide to come to Earth to kidnap the real Santa Claus, and also kidnap two Earthling children named Billy and Betty. Eventually, though, Santa warms up to the idea of helping to bring Christmas to Mars, and so he and the others build a toy factory. Then, an evil mustachioed Martian named Voldar who had been opposed to the idea of bringing Santa to Mars from the beginning tries to ruin things for everyone, but of course is foiled. Mars gets a Santa of its own, and the real Santa and the two kids return to Earth in time for Christmas Eve. It’s cheesy, has awful acting, and the sets and costumes for Mars are incredibly cheap and lame (As Joel at one point notes, “You know, these are like cheap versions of the ‘Lost in Space’ sets,†and don’t even get me started on the costumes for a giant robot and a polar bear that show up at one point in the movie).
About the only problem with this special that bugged me was the movie’s “Comic relief,†a clumsy and dim- witted Martian named Dropo, was so annoying even by the standards of an MST3K film, he makes JarJar Binks look positively lovable and wise in comparison. But, at least he gave Joel and the ‘Bots lots of material to work with, so that’s ok.
This is easily one of the best episodes of MST3K. Also, the host segments interspersed throughout the movie were quite good, such as when the robot Crow debuts a new Christmas carol he wrote called “A Patrick Swayze Christmas†(Based on the lyrics, it’s like if the movie ‘Road House’ took place around Christmastime, and it showcases what a surprisingly lovely singing voice Tom Servo has), and another later on when Joel, Crow, and Tom Servo all try to give inspiring Christmas- themed speeches and all fail miserably, but the sweet and quiet robot Gypsy shows up with a simple but quite touching tribute to what Christmas is all about (Sort of like if Linus from ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ were female and a robot).
So, that’s the first MST3K Christmas special. Come back next time for the other one!
