primitive in love with a woman who loves someone else

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=440x161

Oh my.

It's an old campfire, but I'm desperate.

Tripod  (519 posts)        Fri Apr-22-11 03:57 AM
Original message
 
I am in love with a woman, who is in love with another man.!

I keep trying to convince her to love me, but she can't. She still loves an evil man. One that tried to kill her, and threatened it so many times. I am 1 1/2 years into this relationship, and I just found out that she is talking on the computer again with him. And she says "I don't know how I feel about him". I know what to do, but it is so hard. She is so beautiful, and so sexy, and we have a chemistry, when we are close. I have treated her wrong also. But I still want her. What should I do??

ceveritt  (149 posts)      Fri Apr-22-11 09:52 AM
Response to Original message
 
1. Leave.

Leave her. Find a way to get away from her. Easy to advise, I know. But I've been in a similar situation. Her self-destructive behavior will destroy you. You cannot change her mind. Get away.

Tripod  (519 posts)        Sat Apr-23-11 01:33 AM
Response to Reply #1
 
2. Thanks for your reply. You are right. I'm trying.

ceveritt  (149 posts)      Sat Apr-23-11 08:53 AM
Response to Reply #2
 
3. Glad you are trying.

I won't lie to you and say I know your pain. But I can say I have an understanding of it, and how immense it is. I am sorry for how much you hurt.

Tripod  (519 posts)        Sat Apr-30-11 02:31 AM
Response to Reply #3

4. yes. this does!

comtec  (1000+ posts)        Wed May-04-11 12:32 AM
Response to Original message

5. RUN away!

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, mug, commemorative coin AND the home game.

leave now, heal your heart later.

this woman is poison for you.

I DO know what you're going through, and I DO KNOW that it will never end well for you.

Some women are simply incapable of choosing the right, good man. they WANT the asshole. that's not you, so leave.

Don't try and help her recover. DON'T be there for her. you will never be her man.

it's brutal, but it's the god's honest truth.

trust me, she isn't worth it. there are other women, better women who are worth your time and love and energy, this one isn't. just... run, don't walk, away.

cut off all contact with her. you can't help her.

don't try, DO!

"DO, or DO not. There is no try" - Yoda

Ninjaneer  (446 posts)      Thu May-12-11 03:35 PM
Response to Reply #5
 
13. Yoda

now there's a guy who never has lady problems.

pscot  (1000+ posts)        Tue May-10-11 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
 
7. Give it up

You're making yourself miserable in a lost cause.

Tripod  (519 posts)        Wed May-11-11 01:56 AM
Response to Reply #7
 
8. I can't!

Name removed (0 posts)      Wed May-11-11 02:52 AM
Response to Reply #8
 
9. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

Tripod  (519 posts)        Wed May-11-11 03:31 AM
Response to Reply #9
 
10. That is mean!

I have as much right to be here as you. Why do you think I shouldn't air my problems, when it is okay for you.

I have liked your responses comtec, but if that is all you have for me, so be it. I thought that I was formulating a relationship with you here on DU. It's okay if you don't want to converse here any more with me.

You haven't walked in my shoes, so you don't know if I might have "much worse, grievous wounds" then yours. As if you have never been stuck..... in love or such. I'm so sorry for you if you haven't had the chance to deal with issues of the heart, soul, emotions. What a loss that can be.

Ninjaneer  (446 posts)      Thu May-12-11 03:00 PM
Response to Original message
 
12. Let it go.

Been there, done that. You can't make people love you. Sooner you understand this, the sooner you can stop wasting precious time of your life. There is no secret or magic advice. The right answer is the obvious one.

demosincebirth  (1000+ posts)        Fri Jun-24-11 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
 
16. Next thing that will happen is a restraining order.

[GOBUCKS]

Name removed (0 posts)      Wed May-11-11 02:52 AM
Response to Reply #8
 
9. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

Someone must have suggested that he try slapping some sense into her.

[DefiantSix]

Tripod  (519 posts)        Fri Apr-22-11 03:57 AM
Original message
 
Dear Abby,

I am in love with a woman, who is in love with another man.!

I keep trying to convince her to love me, but she can't. She still loves an evil man. One that tried to kill her, and threatened it so many times. I am 1 1/2 years into this relationship, and I just found out that she is talking on the computer again with him. And she says "I don't know how I feel about him". I know what to do, but it is so hard. She is so beautiful, and so sexy, and we have a chemistry, when we are close. I have treated her wrong also. But I still want her. What should I do??

Hopeless Romantic on Skin's Island

Dear Hopeless DUmbass:

You really want to know what's causing this lady to resume communicating with someone you and she both knows is abusive?  It's YOU, sweet cheeks.  She feels like she's wasted a year and a half of her life putting up with your notions of egalitarianism and bullshit forced equality.  All that time she's been waiting for you to show her (not THAT way, you idiot; get yer hand off your zipper) that she isn't just another person, but SPECIAL to you.  She doesn't want to be equal to any others in your life, DUmmy:  she wants to be THE ONE.

Oh, and 18 friggin' months?!?!  What's wrong with you?  Are you gay or something?!?!  When I found Mrs. Dear Abby, we had known each other for 6 months before we started dating, dated for a month (almost to the day), and then I proposed, and we were married 4 months after that.  She didn't have to wonder if I was ever going to commit to anything in my miserable worthless existence, like your lady has to be asking herself about you for about the past 9 months or so.  No wonder she's willing to court extinction from a known abuser:  negative attention has to beat no attention at all, in her poor, battered mind.

[Gina]

What a whiny bitch he is!  I have a clue why she doesn't like you fool

[vesta111]

What a whiny bitch he is!  I have a clue why she doesn't like you fool

Agree Gina, she needs to feel so special that her man smacks her around to show her he loves the ground she walks on.

Thinking of some woman here----

If boyfriend/husband does not trust you and checks on you ten times a day it is because he loves you and fears loosing you.

When male gets angry about little things such as another man you smile at or have as an old friend and resorts to busting them in the chops, then he is just a cave man protecting his mate. He really loves you.

On The other hand, a male that is confident in you and his relationship never seems to get Jealous, then he must feel you are not worth fighting over.

What is more loving, a man that sheds tears begging you to stay ,or a man that knocks out your teeth
ties you up and dumps you in a closet for a couple days?????

Some woman equate bad treatment with strength and protection, they work their butts off to please a violent man, to insure the man loves them.

A male that is non violent or treats them with respect they believe may become incapable to protect them when the chips are down. 

Woman have for millennium desired the Bad Boys, good breading stock for the survival of their children, themselves and the grandparents.

Somewhere in the there are men that hold both qualities, rare and hard to find, A man to be respected for his protection and respected for his nurturing strength.

Then on the other hand---a good tip off to a woman that has a loving mate that after years, right out of the Blue becomes Jealous of them.  Begins to accuse them of flirting or becomes over protective of them.

 Heads Up Lady's, I have seen this many times in my long life, this is the tip off that the Male is having an affair himself and from guilt needs to think he is not doing you wrong, pretends you are cold in bed with them and perhaps doing the same thing. He needs an excuse to storm out of the home into his lovers arms so he nags and nit picks until the woman defending herself says just the correct thing to give him the excuse he needs. ----Goes the other way, woman are better at this then men for some reason.

Physic. 101   The problems of the human race can be boiled down to two words---Romances, Finances. 

   
 

[jukin]

Are we sure that the tripod DUmmy is a man?

[BlueStateSaint]

Are we sure that the tripod DUmmy is a man?

That's a valid question.

[Gina]

Are we sure that the tripod DUmmy is a man?

why would a woman have a tripod? 

[I_B_Perky]

Are we sure that the tripod DUmmy is a man?

 

I liked that. H5!

[DumbAss Tanker]

Someone must have suggested that he try slapping some sense into her.

Yeah, someone probably suggested he try treating her like shit since that's what she apparently finds irresistibly attractive.

Comtec was right on the money. 

[Karin]

I read it right off the bat as a lezbo.  Maybe I suspected the "tried to kill her" as hyperbole.  Maybe he's just a rough-and-ready type of man's man.  You know.  So the lez is doubly freaked out.  He's also probably a Freeping Fundy Teabag. 

At any rate, that one DUmmie is right.  You can't make somebody love you.  One of life's tragic truths.  And it's NOT FAIR, is it DUmmies?   Try and legislate that, why don't you. 

[BlueStateSaint]

At any rate, that one DUmmie is right.  You can't make somebody love you.  One of life's tragic truths.  And it's NOT FAIR, is it DUmmies?   Try and legislate that, why don't you. 

For years, I chased and chased and chased women.  No luck.  It wasn't until I said to myself, "If I'm going to be alone for the indeterminable future, I might as well improve myself," that my now-wife showed up.  We just passed our ten-year anniversary, three-and-a-half weeks ago.  Was it fair that we had to wait as long as we did for the other to show up?  At the time, we both said "no," but we weren't ready for each other until we met.  God makes sure of that.  Have we had rough patches in our marriage?  Sure.  But I'd still do it all over again--and I'm about 100% sure that my wife would, too.

God doesn't necessarily give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need.  Even if the DUmb****s believe in Gaia, or whatever, it always comes out the same.

[GOBUCKS]

I am 1 1/2 years into this relationship

That's what DUmmy tripod says. I wonder if the girl knows that. He sounds kind of spooky.
He needs to try the sweet, DUmb, naive route. It works for stevenumbers.
By now, steve would have this chick nailed, baled, and air-mailed.

[AprilRazz]

why would a woman have a tripod? 

This is a DUmmy so anything is possible.

[vadawg]

This is a DUmmy so anything is possible.

if its a dummy it could also have a tail and paws and god knows what other attachments.

[WinOne4TheGipper]

why would a woman have a tripod? 

You do realize that you're talking about a DUmmie, right?