Future news article.
The aircraft carrier "OBAMA", the most costly ever built, was launched 4 weeks ago today. At this time it is still circling in the harbor unable to make up it's mind which way to go. The launch date was kept secret until the NAVY was forced to release that information. The certification records are yet to be released. Until such time as they are able to set a course the "Obama" will continue to circle in the harbor and stir up mud.
The aircraft carrier "G.W. BUSH" that was launch 2 weeks later has already completed it first mission of conquering the mideast oil fields. The sailors of the "G.W. Bush" have been drunk for a week and half of them are considered to be "missing in action". The Shore Patrol reports that they have found most of the missing "BUSH" sailors sitting on the dock of the bay laughing their ass off at the "OBAMA". The Shore Patrol also reports picking up "OBAMA" sailors that have jumped ship.
They Department of the Navy reports that due to cut backs in all the military budgets that they will be moth balling the "OBAMA" as soon as the golf ball supply runs out. The "BUSH" will spend some time in dry dock while it's converted from nuclear powered to oil powered. The reason given is that the "OBAMA's" stirring of bottom mud has caused the harbor to become to shallow for deep draft shipping. The "BUSH" will be used to produce CO2 to raise ocean levels in an effort to save on dredging cost.
Should the "OBAMA" be put up for sale as salvage, the Chinese have offered to take it off our hands for a mear $6 trillion dollars to be added to our debt. The NAVY was considering sinking it for a fishing reef until someone mentioned that carp don't live in salt water.