Twixy leaving the USA

[chitownchica]

He had a chance to venture outside his city limits; He applied for some Gov't job . After realizing that he couldn't pass the P test, he didn't show up.

I think he's the one who applied to be an airport screener, right?

[GOBUCKS]

I think he's the one who applied to be an airport screener, right?

It was at the "air  port" - DUmmy Twix never realized that airport is one word. And the job was far more likely to be as a Cinnabon clerk than a security screener. Anyway, the drug test was a deal breaker. This thread is hilarious! Up to 500 replies now, rivalling Pitt in his heyday, with the vast majority believing that DUmmy Twix's OP is serious, and that a penniless, unemployable drug abuser just needs a passport to take his pick of foreign destinations for permanent residence. DUmmy TwixVoy could just as well have said he was joining NASA and moving to a Mars colony. The DUmmies are showing everyone again why we call them DUmmies.

[chitownchica]

It was at the "air  port" - DUmmy Twix never realized that airport is one word. And the job was far more likely to be as a Cinnabon clerk than a security screener. Anyway, the drug test was a deal breaker. This thread is hilarious! Up to 500 replies now, rivalling Pitt in his heyday, with the vast majority believing that DUmmy Twix's OP is serious, and that a penniless, unemployable drug abuser just needs a passport to take his pick of foreign destinations for permanent residence. DUmmy TwixVoy could just as well have said he was joining NASA and moving to a Mars colony. The DUmmies are showing everyone again why we call them DUmmies.

Oh man, that is so funny.  At least as a cinnabon clerk, the dummy could satisfy the munchies he no doubt experiences.

[Karin]

OK, I'm going over, you convinced me.  Hopefully someone can meet me at the air   port when I get back. 

[JohnnyReb]

OK, I'm going over, you convinced me.  Hopefully someone can meet me at the air   port when I get back. 

There's a beauty shop in town called "The Hairport"...wonder if Twixy works there?

[Karin]

Here's an example of a perfectly reasonable warning of reality on the ground:

Mike K  (372 posts)      Sun Apr-04-10 01:47 AM
Response to Original message
305. However, unless the liquid assets you intend to gather by November are exceptional (in the millions, U.S.), or unless you possess exceptional professional credentials (M.D., etc.), you will not find any European nation to be as welcoming as you apparently expect. You should also understand that racism is by no means confined to the U.S.

He's not the only one.  It's surreal reading, because interspersed with those are the "Best of Luck!!! Wish I could go with you!!!  I'd go tomorrow!!!  Sign me up!!!!"  posts. 

Here's a funny one:

upi402 (1000+ posts)        Sun Apr-04-10 04:21 AM
Response to Original message
324. We are getting out too
 Going to a developing nation with better infrastructure, communications, health care, freedoms, and not run by religious zealots and racists manipulated by the elites, etc etc etc... ad infinitum.
 

I will help you pack, upi, and drive you to the air   port. 

Laura PourMeADrink (1000+ posts)        Sun Apr-04-10 08:39 AM
Response to Original message
354. I agree and good luck - and if you get sick - you will be lucky enough
 to be able to call a doctor to come to your house! and you will be lucky enough to be around people who actually read and walk and sit and talk to each other about meaningful things. I envy you.
 

 

icee  (663 posts)      Sun Apr-04-10 10:29 AM
Response to Original message
378. ...blah blah blah..... If Petraeus gets to be President (he who ordered the massacres in Iraq), suicide will become a real viable option.

How did that go again?  Remember kids: Down the road, not across the street? 

Hamlette tells a bouncy tale, which I believe wholeheartedly: 

Hamlette  (1000+ posts)      Sun Apr-04-10 01:02 PM
3. Our uptight culture looks down right enlightened compared to many European countries. They won't admit it but Great Britain has a class structure that is pretty oppressive. The Swiss are so uptight they make the Germans look laid back. My sister had her garbage returned to her because she did not recycle correctly. They dumped in outside her apartment door. She was arrested and taken to jail after a road block checking everyone determined her car's breaks were not good enough. They compacted her car (and charged her for it) because they decided it could not be made road worthy. So she stopped paying her car insurance and 6 months later they arrested her and took her to jail for not paying her car insurance (she couldn't cancel it because you have to turn in the proof of insurance card which had been in the glove box when the state compacted the car.) I have a zillion stories like this. Living in a foreign country requires a lot of energy.
 

Codeine  (1000+ posts)      Mon Apr-05-10 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #501
503. I also think he's full of shit and hasn't "liquidated" anything more financially significant than a six-pack, but I'm a cynical ****. 

 
That's a good one, Codeine! 

Well that was fun. 

[AllosaursRus]

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!1111111

Logic at the DUmp!!!!!! Who knew????????????

[JohnnyReb]

Some of my X-wifes family visited from England and they couldn't believe the amont of freedom we had....that was 20 years and a FEW lost freedoms ago.

A funny story.

One of the X's relatives was married to a bankers daughter. That relative banked with Barclays and could write checks anywhere in the world in the currency of whatever country he was in....BUT he couldn't get a check cashed around here because there were no Barclays banks around in this hick town. I came in for lunch one day, dirty and smelling like diesel fuel, wife told me about his problem. I told the wife to call and tell him to come on over and as soon as I finished eating we'd run up to the bank. He came over with the bankers daughter in tow. We got in my truck, me still dirty and stinking, she can't believe I was going to the bank like that, it's just wasn't done that way in England. We walked in and the bank president called me by my first name and I called him by his first name (hell we went to school together). He asked what he could do for me, I explained that relative from England  needed to write a check for some cash. He said he was on the way to a meeting, see Freddy(VP) and he'd fix me right up......Freddy(went to school with him to) couldn't fathom taking the Englishmans check in dollars, not pounds, and not having to call New York or some where to get exchange rates.....Soooo, we went in his office and had a seat in the big soft chairs, me with the dirt, smell and all  ...Finally after a few minutes of confusion, I told Freddy to just take his check, give him dollars and if he had any problems with it later that I'd cover it. We got the cash shortly and left.

 We were in the bank less than 10 minutes probably but it must have taken an hour or two for the bankers daughter to be able to close her mouth and speak again...... .....She couldn't believe that they let me in the bank looking like that much less having the bank president call me by first name, shake my hand and then the VP do the same and invite us to sit in his office. While the bank staff was well dressed, the customers ran the gammit from well dressed, to me, farmers and other working class people that all got the same smile and welcome....seems things just weren't done that way in England.





   

[Hawkgirl]

Liquidating his retirement accounts?  Is he finally going to return all those soda cans to retrieve his 10 cents deposit on each one?

[miskie]

Actually, last time I was in Paris (damn, already 10 years now?) there were THREE prices: one at the counter, one at a table inside, one at a table outside.

Wait until the primitive learns that other 'givens' here such as condiments are also added into the bill. those little packets of mustard, ketchup and sugar aren't cheap.

[Karin]

He'll learn no such thing because he's not going anywhere.  What made him think that he could just light anywhere and be welcomed with open arms and free gov't benefits is beyond me.  Just DUmb, I guess.  What got me reading that thread was all the warnings...you have to have millions, or be a world famous surgeon and such...followed by DUmmies going "Best of Luck!  Let us know how you're doing!!  Follow your dreams!!!"   As if they're willfully blinding themselves to the facts written right before them, by their own ilk.  It made them look astonishingly stupid, insane, or both. 



Thanks for the story, JohnnyReb. 

[AllosaursRus]

He'll learn no such thing because he's not going anywhere.  What made him think that he could just light anywhere and be welcomed with open arms and free gov't benefits is beyond me.  Just DUmb, I guess.  What got me reading that thread was all the warnings...you have to have millions, or be a world famous surgeon and such...followed by DUmmies going "Best of Luck!  Let us know how you're doing!!  Follow your dreams!!!"   As if they're willfully blinding themselves to the facts written right before them, by their own ilk. It made them look astonishingly stupid, insane, or both. 



Thanks for the story, JohnnyReb. 

..........and your point being?

[The Village Idiot]

He'll learn no such thing because he's not going anywhere. 

Yep. He ain't going nowhere. I don't think any Cavers think he's really going