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Author Topic: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise  (Read 2094 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« on: February 13, 2010, 10:09:47 PM »
DUmmies, whose personalities normally rule out the possibility of friends, and who have alienated their families, due to many of them being decent and civilized people, contemplate their lonely demises. Since a true democrat cannot acknowledge the existence of God, and thinks the Savior is a jug-eared Kenyan, somewhere deep down they know the horrifying, eternal destiny of their immortal, unredeemed souls. Such knowledge must make the prospects of death infinitely more distressing:
Quote
KG (1000+ posts)        Sat Feb-13-10 10:22 PM
Original message
i've come to the conclusion, i'll live out my life as a single person.
edit - been single since getting divorced in '86

recent events have confirmed it.

sometimes the thought of it bugs me.

mostly, i worry about not being found till my body starts to really stink up some cold, dark, lonely apt. i do hate to be a bother.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9254326


DUmmy Iris, whose poetic talent is CalPigian, tries to cheer things up:
Quote
Iris (1000+ posts)        Sat Feb-13-10 10:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. If the apartment is cold, the stink might not be so bad.



Another lonely, shunned DUmmy:
Quote
Catshrink  (1000+ posts)      Sat Feb-13-10 10:29 PM
Response to Original message
3. I've come to the same conclusion
And decided to start getting rid of a lot of my stuff. I guess my heirs would be my nephews and they won't care that the meat grinder belonged to their grandma or the yellow screwdriver was their greatgrandpas. 



This DUmbass is committed to recycling to the end:
Quote
The Velveteen Ocelot  (1000+ posts)        Sat Feb-13-10 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
8. Me, too.
Someday I'll fall over dead in my little old house and nobody will notice except the cats, who will eat me.


Another DUmmy with a helpful suggestion:
Quote
wellstone dem  (1000+ posts)         Sat Feb-13-10 10:41 PM
Response to Original message
9. Just get a dog
it will eat your remains before you stink too bad.



Quote
KG (1000+ posts)        Sat Feb-13-10 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. got one of those. 
but he only wieghs about 8 lbs. don't think he could keep up.









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Offline Chris

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2010, 10:10:53 PM »
At least they're comfortable with their role in the universe. :lmao:
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Offline franksolich

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2010, 10:15:41 PM »
Quote from: Chris on February 13, 2010, 10:10:53 PM
At least they're comfortable with their role in the universe. :lmao:

Awesome, sir.

Truly awesome.
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Offline crockspot

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2010, 10:54:41 PM »
It's not like I have not had some of those same thoughts and fears, but damned if I would whine about it on the innernets. :mental:
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Offline kenth

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2010, 10:56:31 PM »
Quote
1. If the apartment is cold, the stink might not be so bad.

 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
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Offline Ree

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2010, 11:06:18 PM »
Quote from: crockspot on February 13, 2010, 10:54:41 PM
It's not like I have not had some of those same thoughts and fears, but damned if I would whine about it on the innernets. :mental:
But if you're dead why would ya care if the cats eat ya? It's not like you'll feel it.
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Offline dandi

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2010, 12:16:25 AM »
Quote
KG (1000+ posts)        Sat Feb-13-10 10:22 PM
Original message
i've come to the conclusion, i'll live out my life as a single person.
edit - been single since getting divorced in '86

recent events have confirmed it.

sometimes the thought of it bugs me.

mostly, i worry about not being found till my body starts to really stink up some cold, dark, lonely apt. i do hate to be a bother.

Aye, well, when you feel yourself shaking off your mortal coil, try to crawl outside.

"Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms."

--Josey Wales
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2010, 12:41:19 AM »
Quote from: kenth on February 13, 2010, 10:56:31 PM
:rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

Have the A/C cranked up when you die!!
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Offline PatriotGame

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2010, 12:46:26 AM »
Quote
KG (1000+ posts)        Sat Feb-13-10 10:22 PM
Original message
i've come to the conclusion, i'll live out my life as a single person.
edit - been single since getting divorced in '86

recent events have confirmed it.

sometimes the thought of it bugs me.

mostly, i worry about not being found till my body starts to really stink up some cold, dark, lonely apt. i do hate to be a bother.

While I know this is lost an a DUmmy, I'll try anyway.
You need to do your part for society and prepare in advance:

Either step in front of a speeding bus during rush hour traffic OR, obtain a gun and blow your head off in public.

DO IT NOW!!!

At least that way there will be people around to dance to your demise and dispose of the body in an environmentally conscientious manner, such as burning it on the spot.

As an aside, if I were to die alone in my home, I would be "found out" in no less that 12 hours. Even if my wife was out of town, if she could not raise me on the phone, there are co-workers, neighbors, family members, and other friends that would miss me and become very suspicious if I went incognito within a 12 hour period.

Sucks to be a DUmmy huh?
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2010, 12:49:02 AM »
Quote from: Ree on February 13, 2010, 11:06:18 PM
But if you're dead why would ya care if the cats eat ya? It's not like you'll feel it.

Well, we wouldn't want those cats to starve
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2010, 12:50:11 AM »
Quote from: PatriotGame on February 14, 2010, 12:46:26 AM
While I know this is lost an a DUmmy, I'll try anyway.
You need to do your part for society and prepare in advance:

Either step in front of a speeding bus during rush hour traffic OR, obtain a gun and blow your head off in public.

You need to plan these things in advance. Better to abort yourself since your not a planned or wanted DUmmie.
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Offline TheSarge

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2010, 12:51:56 AM »
Quote
i worry about not being found till my body starts to really stink up some cold, dark, lonely apt.

You're already doing that.  The only difference anyone will notice is in your body temp.
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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2010, 01:29:55 AM »
Quote from: TxRadioguy on February 14, 2010, 12:51:56 AM
You're already doing that.  The only difference anyone will notice is in your body temp.

Less noise coming from the basement, and the pizza deliveries piling up outside the door....
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

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You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2010, 01:32:17 AM »
Quote from: PatriotGame on February 14, 2010, 12:46:26 AM
While I know this is lost an a DUmmy, I'll try anyway.
You need to do your part for society and prepare in advance:

Either step in front of a speeding bus during rush hour traffic OR, obtain a gun and blow your head off in public.

DO IT NOW!!!

At least that way there will be people around to dance to your demise and dispose of the body in an environmentally conscientious manner, such as burning it on the spot.

As an aside, if I were to die alone in my home, I would be "found out" in no less that 12 hours. Even if my wife was out of town, if she could not raise me on the phone, there are co-workers, neighbors, family members, and other friends that would miss me and become very suspicious if I went incognito within a 12 hour period.

Sucks to be a DUmmy huh?

To quote the Blackjack dealer from the movie "Vegas Vacation":

"Why don't you BUY a bullet, and RENT a gun!"
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline Crazy Horse

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Their Demise
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2010, 08:00:06 AM »
This haqs got to be coaches mole

Quote
The Velveteen Ocelot  (1000+ posts)        Sat Feb-13-10 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
8. Me, too.
Someday I'll fall over dead in my little old house and nobody will notice except the cats, who will eat me.
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