would find myself reaching toward the place on my desk where my pack of cigs always sat...almost automatically.
I've done this a few times. It was always at times when I was momentarily overwhelmed by something or some thought.
I also miss my ashtray. I don't have anyplace to put little things that need to be thrown away.
It's strange to contemplate that I will never ever smoke another cigarette - that after so many years of smoking being such an important (and enjoyable) part of my life - it's over forever.
Although, I have said if I live to be 80 I plan to start smoking again. That's 25 years from now. If I live 25 more years, I deserve a cigarette.....and booze. Lots of booze.