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Author Topic: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy  (Read 2064 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« on: February 02, 2010, 05:18:44 PM »
In this bouncy, the DUmmy claims to have verbally abused Mormon missionaries. He ups the ante by claiming it's the third time this has happened, at exactly the same spot! Despite this being the lamest bouncy since the original cops jumped out of the bushes, the DUmmies, of course, believe it. Sometimes I think DUmmies like asdjrocky post silly lies like this for the sole purpose of being quoted and mocked.

Quote
asdjrocky (1000+ posts)        Tue Feb-02-10 05:51 PM
Original message
I have to tell you my Mormon story.
I'm sure it was wrong and I know that every time I let my anger show, I later regret it.

Somehow, two days later, I have no regret.

So I'm minding my own business in my car, on my way to pick up my brother in law from a doctors appointment and I'm stopped at a light. I'm just tapping my fingers to a little Me First and the Gimmie Gimmes as I wait for the light to change and out of the corner of my eye I catch some motion from the car in the lane next to me.

I look over and see four extremely clean cut young white men, all wearing long sleeved button downed shirts and dark ties.

The driver is waving at me, a big toothy smile on his face.

Was I surprised? No. Why not? Because this is not the second time this has happened to me, but the third. Twice at the same exact intersection as a matter of fact. I mean, what do these people do, drive around town looking for people who look like they need Jesus in their heart and pounce like hungry hyenas? Is there something in my appearance that screams out, "I am a sinner and I need to be saved!" I hope not, at least about the being saved part, the whole sinner thing is a different story.

So I put my window down.

The square jawed, sandy haired blemish free god of a boy smile broadens even further, if that is possible, and says to me, "Hi! We're on our way to church and just wanted to invite you along for services!"

"No," I answered. Not "no thank you." Not "no thanks." Just, "no."

"Why not?" The nervy youngster replied.

Now I would like to note briefly, I was polite the first two times I was stuck next to the Mormon mobile at a light.

"Because I hate ****ing Mormons." I answered honestly for the first time, trying to match the broadness of his amazing technicolor smile and failing.

His companion, his co-pilot leaned forward to share, "But we love you!"

That was too nice a pitch not to swing away, "That's fine, as long as we don't want to get married."

And then the light changed.

I've tried to feel guilty about it since then, but I just don't.
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Quote
YOY (1000+ posts)        Tue Feb-02-10 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
1. They don't love you.

THey just love your Rocky style.
and yes I have told Mormons to ****ing get of my doorstep and get their asses back to their reservation in Utah and go bitch about how two guys tying the knot is going to destroy the faith built on the most gulible mother ****ers on the planet.



Quote
KonaKane (204 posts)      Tue Feb-02-10 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
2. That won't make a dent in them.
I tell you this as a born and raised Mormon kid (I am long since inactive). No, they thrive on that stuff. If you REALLY want to rattle a Mormon missionary, engage them in a discussion about their Doctrine and Covenants, or the "Journal of Discourses" in which Brigham Young expressed the view that Adam of the Bible was in fact God, that Joseph Smith taught there were 17 foot tall people on the Moon and the Sun who dressed like Quakers (even the women having beards). The missionaries will beat a path to their bikes (or cars now, I am told). Bank it.



See, I make vulgar verbal attacks on well-meaning missionaries, but I'm not a bad guy:
Quote
asdjrocky (1000+ posts)        Tue Feb-02-10 06:01 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. Thank you.
And honestly, I'm not in favor of hating any religious people. I can admire faith, while not really understanding it.

One of my closest and favorite business associate for years is a terrific fellow that just happens to be Mormon, and one of my best friends growing up was Mormon as well. When people come to my door I'm often polite and offer water.

But dude, when I'm jamming on Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies, leave me alone.
 


DUmmy enlightenment will believe anything:
Quote
enlightenment  (1000+ posts)      Tue Feb-02-10 06:01 PM
Response to Original message
5. Did you roll down your window each time?
Why? If you knew who they were after the first episode, why torture yourself further?

I don't like proselytizing of any ilk; religious, political, or anything else - but it seems to me you invited them into your space just so you could tell them to **** off.  Why?

 
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Offline Chris_

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2010, 05:46:34 PM »
 :bs:x 10
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Offline Carl

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2010, 06:04:44 PM »
I can`t say Mormons don`t go door to door and things like that but it would seem in creating this little story he has them confused with Jehovah Witnesses.
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Offline delilahmused

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2010, 06:14:13 PM »
You know, I've never been invited to a church service that was being screamed from one car to the other. Because that's kind of a ways for someone's voice to carry given there would be engines and stuff to talk over. And why would anyone do that just out of the blue? Wouldn't they want to establish some kind of relationship before shouting across traffic lanes? And even if this did happen how is a simple invitation to church proselytizing? Since (according to their rules) anytime someone mentions their religion or (what now, evidently, is extreme right wing Christian evangelism) invites them to church does that mean when they teach our children about global warming they're indoctrinating them into their extreme left wing religion? Or that when they hand me a flier for a concert to raise money to save endangered dung beetle or something, that I can get on totally pissed, tell them to keep their beliefs to themselves and they can stick that stupid tree fairy up their ass?

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Offline NHSparky

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2010, 06:23:38 PM »
I've lived in some VERY heavily LDS areas (think Utah and southern Idaho).  While I didn't agree with their philosophy, it was pretty much live-and-let-live.  Even when I was going to prototype in Idaho Falls, it was pretty low-key.  But it was still kind of fun when I was coming off mid-shift, sitting in my dungarees at 9 in the morning, slamming down a beer while a couple of 19-year old kids tried to tell me about the great life I'd have in the Mormon church. 

And wasn't it funny how those same guys would end up partying with us on our days off parties????
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2010, 02:41:02 AM »
So, actually the DUmmie propositioned 4 underage boys at the light and they turned him down. Now he feels old and ugly. How dare they hurt his feelings.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2010, 04:21:10 AM »
What the hell has happened to the bouncies? This one isn't even close to being believable! I could jerk off on a stump and let the sun hatch it and come up with better stories!
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2010, 05:28:53 AM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on February 03, 2010, 04:21:10 AM
I could jerk off on a stump and let the sun hatch it and come up with better stories!

Man, it's a damned good thing that my tea was brewing when I read that!  If I had been drinking it, well . . . let's just say that I'd be going to the backup monitor . . .
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Offline Tucker

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2010, 06:57:29 AM »
I've been solicited by just about every religious faction out there. After a polite "No thanks", I've never, ever had someone from a church say "Why not?".

I give it a -1
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Offline jukin

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2010, 10:50:31 AM »
Never forget that it is the left that is tolerant and peaceful.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2010, 11:48:21 AM »
I'll bet the DUmmies could have come up with some great bouncies if they'd been around back in the days when airport terminals were crawling with unrestricted Hare Krishnas. Some of those guys would pester hell out of you. As soon as the airports stopped letting them wander around freely, they disappeared.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #11 on: February 03, 2010, 11:52:28 AM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on February 03, 2010, 05:28:53 AM
Man, it's a damned good thing that my tea was brewing when I read that!  If I had been drinking it, well . . . let's just say that I'd be going to the backup monitor . . .

I gotta million of 'em! Heh, heh, heh! Dad was a truck driver for 40 years, doncha know.
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Offline blitzkrieg_17

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Mormon Bouncy
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2010, 03:16:32 PM »
A typical Bouncy. One bong for following template, but no more.
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