Author Topic: Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers  (Read 1808 times)

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Offline bijou

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Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers
« on: October 30, 2009, 06:46:22 AM »
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Police say a Florida man stole a live ferret from a pet shop by stuffing it down his trousers.

...

A 17-year-old witness confronted Bolton about the ferret-theft in the car park as he tried to leave - and was bitten by the animal after Bolton allegedly pushed it in the teen's face.


Technically, under Florida law, that makes the ferret a 'special weapon', with the result that Bolton also faces battery charges for dangerously wielding the animal.
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I expect the perp will weasel out of this with the help of a lawyer.



Offline Chris_

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Re: Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2009, 07:38:56 AM »
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I expect the perp will weasel out of this with the help of a lawyer.
Oh, but he won't get too fur.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline bijou

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Re: Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2009, 07:53:55 AM »
Oh, but he won't get too fur.

I'm not to sure, if he has a good enough tail to tell he may just succeed.



Offline Chris_

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Re: Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2009, 07:55:41 AM »
I'm not to sure, if he has a good enough tail to tell he may just succeed.
Yep, this story has four legs!
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Eupher

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Re: Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2009, 08:49:17 AM »
This Florida thief is going to scurry himself right into prison.
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Offline bijou

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Re: Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2009, 08:56:13 AM »
This Florida thief is going to scurry himself right into prison.
Really? I think he'll escape it by a whisker.



Offline Eupher

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Re: Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2009, 09:01:04 AM »
Really? I think he'll escape it by a whisker.

Oh, I dunno. I suspect they'll analyze the bite marks and confirm that the bite marks on the perp (which simply HAVE to be there) match those on the victim.

Unless, of course, the perp has nothing in his trousers for the critter to bite....
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
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Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline Chris_

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Re: Florida thief stuffs weapon-ferret down trousers
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2009, 11:10:57 AM »
Really? I think he'll escape it by a whisker.
I'm not sure the police would be game for that.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.