The longer I dally around with DU for Guests, the 2009 edition--real life keeps interfering, alas--apparently the more my definitions of tiers of primitivity are going awry.
Sorry about that.
And please remember that these definitions, these standards, are my own subjective guesses. Anyone and everyone is always free to disagree.
There are eight levels of primitivity, in descending order:
non-primitives on Skins's island are those who, really, don't belong on Skins's island, but ended up there by chance or accident, and can't get off. These are usually primitives who are bold enough to go beyond the bounds of Skins's island, onto other islands and web-sites; it is an anomaly, very rare, for a primitive to wander past the safe confines of Skins's island. An example of this would be the buzzy one ("BuzzClik").
Other reasons one might be classified as a non-primitive are that one just doesn't fit in with the primitives, such as the operating one ("OperationMindCrime"), or that one is of too good breeding to be a primitive, such as my fellow alum Skins ("Skinner") or Gloria Swanson ("Tangerine LaBamba").
first-tier primitives are those primitives who in real life have done something, accomplished something (but childishly retain their primitive ideologies and manners), usually the aged primitives, such as the cross-bearing carpetbagging maternal ancestress ("Raven") or Leona Helmsley of DUmmieland ("flyarm").
Although she proved lousy at procreation, the cross-bearing carpetbagging maternal ancestress did manage to get through night law school, much as Dan and Marilyn Quayle had. And Leona was once an airline stewardess, a working girl, back when airplanes had propellers. These are not, really, insignificant accomplishments.
second-tier primitives tend to be first-tier-primitives-in-training, primitives who in real life are making authentic attempts at doing something worthwhile. A good example of a second-tier primitive would be the cboy4 primitive, who's trying really hard to become a professional firefighter.
third-tier primitives are losers, but they do possess leadership qualities that separate them from other primitives. Some good examples of third-tier primitives are the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive, the mike_c primitive, the nicked stoned primitive ("Nikki Stone1" or whatever), the malicious cartoon character primitive ("KelvinMace"), &c., &c., &c.--primitives whose bonfires attract a large following.
the unterprimitiven, the faceless lynch mob, are circa 99% of all the primitives, nothing distinctive about them other than the heat and stench their sheer bodily mass creates.
the abbandonado primitives, the friendless ones, are those primitives lonely and ignored by all the other primitives.
the les risibles primitives, the laughable ones, are those primitives who know better, but insist upon being stupid anyway. This is perhaps the second-largest tribe of primitives on Skins's island. Examples of the les risibles primitives include, of course, Pedro Picasso ("Atman") , the Bostonian Drunkard ("WilliamPitt"), the subway cat ("undergroundpanther"), the squawking primitive ("LadyHawk"), the sparkling husband primitive ("Stinky the Clown"), the maudlin waif primitive ("Mythsaje"), Oscar Wilde ("Cyrano"), the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive ("Redstone"), California piggy ("California Peggy"), &c., &c., &c.
drek primitives are the bottom of the bottom of the barrel, sleaze and excresence whose gangrenous natures make them a hazard in real life as well as on Skins's island; no redeeming virtues at all, not an iota, good excuses for post-birth abortion.
There are currently only four drek primitives; the skumbag primitive ("IanDavid"), the Die alte Sau, the dysmenopausal Kansas school teacher ("Proud2BLibKansas"), the high fructose corn syrup primitive, and Ms. Ed, the unappellated eohippus ("Horse with no Name").
Humanity would be greatly bettered if the drek primitives simply evaporated, leaving no trace of themselves around.
These are of course highly subjective, and anyone is free at any time to challenge the tierity of a primitive; like the British cabinets of the 1800s and 1900s, it's just my nature to seek consensus, rather than being the definitive last word.
Note: a PoP, primitive of prominence, can come from any tier, but generally usually most of the time, they seem to arise out of the les risibles primitives, the laughable ones.
