How to please a woman

[thundley4]

A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhattan shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right – women can browse men from floors of choices.

Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.


The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

[DixieBelle]

I know there's a man's version of that story somewhere.

[Wineslob]

I know there's a man's version of that story somewhere.

Good luck with that.   




 

[thundley4]

I know there's a man's version of that story somewhere.

How to please a man?

Simple. Show up naked, bring beer. 

[DixieBelle]

Yeah, it's a short list. Beer. Food. Sex. That about covers it.

[JohnnyReb]

Yeah, it's a short list. Beer. Food. Sex. That about covers it.

Yep....couldn't run him off with a stick.

[docstew]

Yep....couldn't run him off with a stick.

admit it, you ALMOST said beat instead of run, didn't you?

[Wineslob]

Yeah, it's a short list. Beer. Food. Sex. That about covers it.

And not necessarily in that order.

[Bluegrassman]

And not necessarily in that order.

Actually that order works for me. Guess the order changes with age. 

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

I know there's a man's version of that story somewhere.

I'm only looking for 2 things in a woman: pulse and respiration.

And even those are negotiable.

[Chris_]

I'm only looking for 2 things in a woman: pulse and respiration.

And even those are negotiable.

Yeah, but as a medic, you look for those things in A GUY, too.  What are we supposed to infer from that, Snuggs? 

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Yeah, but as a medic, you look for those things in A GUY, too.  What are we supposed to infer from that, Snuggs? 

My odds are twice as good as yours?

[dutch508]

Someone wanted the man version:

A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhattan shopping center. This store sells girlfriends, yes that’s right – men can browse women from floors of choices. (for owning, not renting- that is a different type of store)

Actually, there are 6 floors of women, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young man goes to the shopping center to find a wife. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These women have jobs. The man reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last girlfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up he goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These women have jobs and love sex. The man remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up he goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These women have jobs, love sex and are models. “Hmmm, better” he says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These women have jobs, love sex, are models and are submissive. “Wow!” exclaims the man, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again he heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These women have jobs, love sex, are models, submissive and sometimes enjoy a threesome with their college cheerleader roommates. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor he goes.


The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no women on this floor, nor have there been for the last four floors. Please return to your sad little life and get the **** out of the store..