« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Snake  (Read 2599 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline RobJohnson

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8876
  • Reputation: +333/-109
Snake
« on: June 06, 2009, 11:15:22 PM »


SNAKE!

Seen a neighbor lady running around trying to flag down another neighbor.....then I found out why.

Look what she found in her driveway....the rake kept the snake in place until the axe arrived. :eek:

Now the sun is going down....

Logged

Offline Chris

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1476
  • Reputation: +522/-16
Re: Snake
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2009, 12:01:32 AM »
So... anyone havin' snake for dinner?
Logged
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

Offline Happy Fun Ball

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2939
  • Reputation: +1035/-11
Re: Snake
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2009, 12:03:49 AM »
Logged

Offline Ralph Wiggum

  • It's unpossible that I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 19484
  • Reputation: +2548/-49
Re: Snake
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2009, 12:21:14 AM »
The snakes are part of the reason I'm glad I don't live in the Southwest anymore.

I have a friend here who is petrified of "garter snakes".  He freaked out on the golf course last year when he stumbled upon one while looking for his ball.  And this is a 20 year veteran of the Marine Corps who served in Desert Storm & Desert Shield.
Logged
Voted hottest "chick" at CU - My hotness transcends gender

Offline RobJohnson

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8876
  • Reputation: +333/-109
Re: Snake
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2009, 01:05:57 AM »
I'm one bad ass mother ****er with a rake.
Logged

Offline RobJohnson

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8876
  • Reputation: +333/-109
Re: Snake
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2009, 01:08:38 AM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on June 07, 2009, 12:21:14 AM
The snakes are part of the reason I'm glad I don't live in the Southwest anymore.

I have a friend here who is petrified of "garter snakes".  He freaked out on the golf course last year when he stumbled upon one while looking for his ball.  And this is a 20 year veteran of the Marine Corps who served in Desert Storm & Desert Shield.

2nd snake that I have seen. The first one was just a cocky king snake that went up a tree, looking for a meal of bird eggs.

This snake, appeared to be a little more dangerous.
Logged

Offline djones520

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4207
  • Reputation: +181/-146
Re: Snake
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2009, 05:50:17 AM »
Only 2?  Hell, I ran into more in my backyard in Michigan.

First snake I ever saw in the wild was a garter snake in Florida.  Then I'd see 3 or 4 Blue Racers a summer at my home in Michigan.  Ran over one with the rider lawn mower once.  That was kinda messy.
Logged
"Chuck Norris once had sex in an 18 wheeler. Some of his semen dripped onto the engine. We now call that truck Optimus Prime."

Offline Gratiot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1288
  • Reputation: +45/-18
Re: Snake
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2009, 08:51:11 AM »
You're one heck of a good neighbor!   :cheersmate: 
Logged

Offline RobJohnson

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8876
  • Reputation: +333/-109
Re: Snake
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2009, 12:23:30 PM »
Quote from: djones520 on June 07, 2009, 05:50:17 AM
Only 2?  Hell, I ran into more in my backyard in Michigan.

First snake I ever saw in the wild was a garter snake in Florida.  Then I'd see 3 or 4 Blue Racers a summer at my home in Michigan.  Ran over one with the rider lawn mower once.  That was kinda messy.

Seen lots of snakes in Illinois & Iowa, they just couldn't kill you.  :-)

I used to step on them barefoot.
Logged

Offline RobJohnson

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8876
  • Reputation: +333/-109
Re: Snake
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2009, 12:46:36 PM »
Quote from: Gratiot on June 07, 2009, 08:51:11 AM
You're one heck of a good neighbor!   :cheersmate: 


I can't take much of the credit. She had flagged down someone that was able to skillfully contain the snake with the rake...passing it to the neighbor lady while he went to find something for the decapitation.  :-)  I dropped all the stuff I was carrying and simply stood there with her in case something went wrong. Her husband was at work (part time at Wal Mart) they are a retired couple and really nice folks.
Logged

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: Snake
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2009, 01:53:47 PM »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLaX8UvVUQw&NR=1[/youtube]

Just in case, NSFW.
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1998/-134
Re: Snake
« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2009, 07:06:40 AM »
Anyone feeling left out I'll be glad to send you some snakes.....we have plenty.

The only bad ones we have are the Copperheads and Cotton Mouths.....rattle snakes for some reason aren't found right in our area....10 miles in any direction and you can get some of those if you want'em.

The one we have that'll scare you death when you first see him is the "Puff Ader"...
spreads it's neck out to look like a Cobra. Then there's the little Pine Snake, colored like the Coral snake, but harmless..... and you never can remember which color on which color is the bad news one..... :rotf: Black snakes (the ones on the ground, not the ones in washington), Chicken snakes, Hog Nose snake, green snakes......and some I can't remember, take your pick.
Logged
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline BadCat

  • I H8 Liberals
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3638
  • Reputation: +654/-81
Re: Snake
« Reply #12 on: June 09, 2009, 09:54:36 AM »
I had a diamondback in the front yard last week, trying to screw the garden hose.
Logged
Help keep America beautiful...deface a liberal.

The Democrat and Republican parties are simply the left and right wings of the same bird of prey.

The road to freedom is paved with dead liberals.

21fadb4221652b86382c8f73526880b7

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: Snake
« Reply #13 on: June 09, 2009, 12:07:34 PM »
It is a violation of state law in Tennessee to kill a snake...for any reason.  I know not why.   :clueless:
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline thundley4

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 40571
  • Reputation: +2224/-127
Re: Snake
« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2009, 12:48:30 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on June 09, 2009, 12:07:34 PM
It is a violation of state law in Tennessee to kill a snake...for any reason.  I know not why.   :clueless:



Too much of a chance of killing a politician?
Logged

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: Snake
« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2009, 05:01:38 PM »
Quote from: thundley4 on June 09, 2009, 12:48:30 PM

Too much of a chance of killing a politician?
Nah, they're a "dime a dozen" around here.  Maybe it was just "professional courtesy".   :-)
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline thundley4

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 40571
  • Reputation: +2224/-127
Re: Snake
« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2009, 05:15:54 PM »
Ilha de Queimada Grande; A.K.A. Snake Island
Quote
Over at Forests.org, there's an article that opens with a description of, "A deserted island where the forest floor writhes with the world's most venomous vipers. A fisherman found dead on his boat, its deck awash with his blood. A lighthouse keeper and his family massacred in a nocturnal snake invasion of their isolated cottage home.

And no, Forests.org is not a site for terrifying Indiana Jones / Anaconda slash-fiction. You see, Ilha de Queimada Grande is a delightfully exotic sounding island off the coast of Brazil that plays host to a certain breed of exotic sounding snake known as the Golden Lancehead. This snake has one of the worst venoms in the world, which literally causes your flesh to rot off your bones.



Now you may be asking, "But Cracked, there are poisonous snakes in loads of countries. What's so special about this one tiny island?" Well that's an interesting question, and we are only too pleased to haunt your dreams by filling you in.

Remember how we mentioned the snakes only live on this one island? Well it's quite a densely packed island. In fact, the Brazilian Navy has forbidden anyone to visit the place, and they aren't doing that to protect the snakes. Conservative estimates range from the spine tingling one snake per square meter to the "drop dead from pants shitting fear" five snakes per square meter. Can you picture it? Allow us to help you:

 
Not pictured: The dead people just out of shot.

Now imagine five of those. Now imagine those five in an area that's smaller than your bed. Now imagine that writhing nest repeated over every inch of this God-forsaken place.

Let's back up and talk about that fisherman:

"I heard the story of the fisherman who went ashore to pick bananas, got bitten and somehow managed to struggle back to his boat. There, he bled to death and was found sprawled on the blood-soaked deck of his boat."

And the lighthouse keeper's family?

"The family ran in panic one night after snakes crawled in through their windows, so the story goes, and were bitten as they fled through the forest by vipers dangling from tree branches. Their bodies were found spread across the island when a navy vessel stopped to make a routine supply drop."

 
A young snake, receiving its terror-enhancing steroids, as is the snake custom on this island.

Yeah. Imagine just sleeping peacefully when snakes start crawling through your bedroom window and you know the only option is to run outside into the jungle where there are even more snakes and they all govern themselves because this is an island of snake monsters and you are the intruder. And you struggle through the underbrush, alone, scared, knowing that you will never make it back to civilization to punch that ****ing Realtor who sold you a house on *******ed Snake Island.
Cracked

I am not afraid of snakes in real life, but I've had nightmares where they are prominent features. 
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »