Author Topic: Happy New Year with predictions  (Read 285 times)

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Online FlippyDoo

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Happy New Year with predictions
« on: January 01, 2026, 07:51:15 AM »
First, Happy New Year to all of the Cavers and also to the anti-American idiotic lunatics at DU who work so hard to entertain us. Back when I attended the Fictional Spirit-Guide Academy, one of the required courses was Prognostication 101. It isn’t something that I usually do, but in light of the new year beginning, I’m going to try my hand at putting that education to use and make some predictions for this new year. We'll see if my prognostications are more accurate than DU's "we've got him now" predictions.

1. The mindless lemmings of DU will screech “they’re going to end democracy!!!!” while blindly supporting overlords who are actually actively trying to end democracy.
2. The brainless followers of the DemonRat overlords will falsely paint themselves as “compassionate” while constantly and vigorously spewing hate.
3. The DUmbAss Doofuses, especially ones like Kentuck and the Airport Hooker, will work tirelessly to prove that each is the dumbest bloviator in the asylum.
4. Orange Man Bad will have many incidents of being declared toasted legs in a turning tide by the mentally deficient within the asylum.
5. Normal, sane people will read DU and laugh and laugh and think that it’s a parody website because no one can really be that stupid and hypocritical.
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Offline SVPete

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Re: Happy New Year with predictions
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2026, 09:32:57 AM »
IOW, even more of more of the same.

DU does challenge The Babylon Bee to come up with satire that DU has not actually said/done.
If The Vaccine is deadly as anti-Covid-vaxxers claim, millions now living would have died.

US Life Expectancy chart illustrating this, https://www.macrotrends.net/datasets/global-metrics/countries/usa/united-states/life-expectancy

Offline ADsOutburst

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Re: Happy New Year with predictions
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2026, 12:20:58 PM »
My predictions:

-Good news for America will be met with scorn from the Democrats.

-The Democrats will sour on whoever their hero is at the moment.

-Fraud involving Democrats will be revealed to be so extensive as to dwarf even our own expectations.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2026, 12:31:55 PM by ADsOutburst »

Online FlippyDoo

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Re: Happy New Year with predictions
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2026, 01:50:43 PM »
My predictions:

-Good news for America will be met with scorn from the Democrats.

-The Democrats will sour on whoever their hero is at the moment.

-Fraud involving Democrats will be revealed to be so extensive as to dwarf even our own expectations.

Especially if that "hero" happens to agree with Trump on something. I don't think that I've ever seen anything quite like this except maybe in elementary school playground...

DemonRat hero of the moment: We MUST pass legislation to protect that bald eagle.

Orange Man Bad: Yes, I agree completely. I'll go ahead a do an executive order in case congress doesn't do their job.

DemonRat overlords: That is racist because the bald eagle has a white head!!!!

DemonRat hero of the moment: (to the DemonRat overlords) Umm, I...uh...thought we wanted the bald eagle protected? I don't really like the orange guy, but...uh...he's actually doing what we want.

DemonRat overlords: (to the NOW former hero of the moment) You are in a cult! You are a fascist!
« Last Edit: January 01, 2026, 01:52:55 PM by FlippyDoo »
Fictional spirit-guiding by appointment.
conservativecave.com & conservativeunderground.com

For new members and lurkers: I am a fictional spirit-guide with no smell whatsoever. I am part irish setter and part pigeon. If you don't smell any strange smells it means I'm probably standing next to you. As I am a fictional character anything I post should possibly be considered fictional.

Offline Airwolf

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Re: Happy New Year with predictions
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2026, 04:34:17 PM »
First, Happy New Year to all of the Cavers and also to the anti-American idiotic lunatics at DU who work so hard to entertain us. Back when I attended the Fictional Spirit-Guide Academy, one of the required courses was Prognostication 101. It isn’t something that I usually do, but in light of the new year beginning, I’m going to try my hand at putting that education to use and make some predictions for this new year. We'll see if my prognostications are more accurate than DU's "we've got him now" predictions.

1. The mindless lemmings of DU will screech “they’re going to end democracy!!!!” while blindly supporting overlords who are actually actively trying to end democracy.
2. The brainless followers of the DemonRat overlords will falsely paint themselves as “compassionate” while constantly and vigorously spewing hate.
3. The DUmbAss Doofuses, especially ones like Kentuck and the Airport Hooker, will work tirelessly to prove that each is the dumbest bloviator in the asylum.
4. Orange Man Bad will have many incidents of being declared toasted legs in a turning tide by the mentally deficient within the asylum.
5. Normal, sane people will read DU and laugh and laugh and think that it’s a parody website because no one can really be that stupid and hypocritical.

Number 3 makes me think those two are in a cage match to prove who is the bigger Dumbass.
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Offline RonE

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Re: Happy New Year with predictions
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2026, 02:18:17 PM »
My predictions:

-Good news for America will be met with scorn from the Democrats.

-The Democrats will sour on whoever their hero is at the moment.

-Fraud involving Democrats will be revealed to be so extensive as to dwarf even our own expectations.

-And the MSM will credit all things good to the left, and all things bad to the right. If they can't blame the right, the story will be dismissed, as possibly untrue.
-Robert De Niro will continue saying stupid shit.
-De Niro, Rachel Maddow, and a few others won't explain why Trump didn't throw them in "camps" as they predicted, and are still free to spread fertilizer about Trump while reminding us he is a fascist who will silence his enemies and put them in camps.
-Joe Biden will go missing and later discovered asleep on the floor of his neighbor's laundry room.

Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: Happy New Year with predictions
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2026, 12:47:36 PM »
Have a somber prediction:

At least one person of prominence will be murdered this year due to their political beliefs, and most likely one on the conservative side of the aisle. And Jimmy Kimmel will make fun of it.

And a couple of positive predictions:

The GDP will be over 5% for the entire year once the Big Beautiful Law takes full effect.

Numerous lib-tards will self-immolate yet again protests Lord knows what.

I call that a win-win situation.
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Offline CC27

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Re: Happy New Year with predictions
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2026, 12:57:44 PM »
DUmmies same shit different day. They never learn.