Author Topic: 10 Biggest Adjustments Fleeing Californians Have To Make In Their New States  (Read 1052 times)

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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Hundreds of thousands of people are fleeing California for states like Texas and Florida, but it's not always easy to adjust to life in an American state.

Let's look at the 10 biggest adjustments fleeing Californians have to make in their new states:

1 - Strange wet stuff falls from the sky once in a while. Try not to drive your car into a pole when this happens. Take a deep breath. You will get through it.
2 - People don't say "The" in front of highway names. If you're driving on I-10 in Texas, you'll feel the urge to say "The 10," but don't do it. It's wrong.
3 - You can't wear flip-flops to church. Not even your "nice" Vans flip-flops. Put on shoes like an adult.
4 - There's no need to call the police if you see someone with a gun strapped to their hip. It's OK. The guns can't jump out and hurt you, no matter what Newsom told you back in California.
5 - "Bless your heart" doesn't mean "bless your heart." Well, it might mean "bless your heart," but it's a safer bet that it means "that person's weird," or "you're an idiot," or "I don't like you." Or, it's a simple ending to a statement you've made about someone that you don't want to feel bad about.
6 - No one cares about your preferred pronouns. Go ahead and tell an old farmer in Oklahoma that you go by "they" pronouns. The look on his face will be worth it.
7 - Man-buns are unacceptable in a professional setting. Or any setting.
8 - You have to go into buildings without any kind of official warning that something inside there might cause cancer. You will just have to take the chance. Be strong.
9 - The weather cycles from hot to cold and back again on an annual basis. Do not be alarmed. These are called "seasons."
10- You might have to make your own choices and take responsibility for your actions without the government taking care of you. This is the most difficult adjustment for Californians to make when they move to America, but with time, prayer (also acceptable in red states), and willpower, you can do it!

Yes, it's from the BEE, but quite accurate
Voted hottest "chick" at CU - My hotness transcends gender


Offline SVPete

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1 - Strange wet stuff falls from the sky once in a while. ... I won't speak for SoCal residents, as they live hundreds of miles from me, but it rains frequently here in the SF Bay Area. Also, the Sierra Nevadas in the Lake Tahoe area is one of the snowiest places on Earth.

2 - People don't say "The" in front of highway names. ... That is SoCal or even LA area usage, not Northern California usage.

3 - You can't wear flip-flops to church. ... I haven't done this in 45 years, if I ever have. If I did, it was while I lived in Arizona (and not at the Lutheran churches I occasionally attended there).

Yada, yada, yada ... it's the Bee, but good satire is usually reality-based.
If The Vaccine is deadly as anti-Covid-vaxxers claim, millions now living would have died.

Offline Old n Grumpy

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To all you Cali refugees coming to Florida:
It's HOT
It rains all the time
Mosquitos as big as sparrows
Hungry alligators EVERYWHERE!!
Giant roaches (palmetto bugs)
High humidity
Rednecks with GUNS, that's right AR15's" with hi cap assault magazines  :panic:
Confederate flags
And lots of other things you will hate!!
so think twice before coming!! :thatsright:

Life is tough and it’s even tougher when you’re stupid

Basking in the glow of my white Privilege and toxic masculinity while I water the Begonias with liberal tears!

I will give up my guns when the liberals give up their illegal aliens

We need a Bull Shit tax to make the Democrats go broke!