http://www.democraticunderground.com/11516340Oh my.
fizzgig (24,032 posts) Thu Jun 2, 2016, 09:53 PM
not doing so hot right now
i am sad and so damned lonely right now that it hurts.
my husband has been in dick mode for weeks and it's been about three weeks since he's given me so much as a hug or a peck on the cheek. i know that he is recovering from a serious illness that landed him in the hospital but he's shouting at me for asking such egregious questions as when he gets paid (he was a few weeks out from starting a new job after quitting the old one and was out of work for about five weeks) and verifying that the charge on the bank account from the junk yard was, in fact, the right amount (he said he charged six bucks and the account showed a $26 charge). he shouted at me for ten minutes last night and there was no where for me to go since we were in the car on the other side of town.
i haven't spoken to my oldest and best friend in two months because every time i'd try to talk to her or even share a giggle on fb, she'd throw a load of hate and anger in my face. she was so nasty with me when i reached out to her when her dad died that, despite my best efforts to not take it personally, i have stopped initiating communication with her and she has not even tried to talk to me since.
i am trying to not take this shit personally but none of this is my ****ing fault. i have been fortunate to not have experienced much trauma in my life but i go out of my way to not be shitty to people who are just trying to say "i love you and i'm here for you."
the few friends i have in town have no time for me and neither does my good friend who lives the next state over. no one makes the effort to even shoot me a message once in awhile to ask me how i'm doing. my dad is a bit upset that i don't call as often as i used to but he never picks up the ****ing phone to call me. i haven't talked to my sister but once or twice in the last couple of months.
on top of it all, the world is just making me sad right now. i'm still stuck in a bit of a hole right now and can't find joy in much of anything. we're going to a show in denver on sunday and staying the night and i'm really excited about it, but i'm also really worried that my husband is just going to keep up with his shit and ruin the night.
i just want someone to hold me while i cry and there is no one i can go to.
Must be a hangover from all the dope she inhales.
thunderthighs has two major problems; an insensitive husband whom she loves far more than what the jerk deserves, and her denials about the effects of dope.
elleng (68,480 posts) Thu Jun 2, 2016, 10:04 PM
1. Ditto, fizz,
except my problems are that my daughter has problems similar to yours, 2 little kids and 'difficult' spouse; they may be breaking up; I can't bear to think of it.
and I can't stand to think of you so unhappy. The world is very sad.
<<<can easily stand to see thunderthighs so unhappy; she brings it all upon herself.
CaliforniaPeggy (119,461 posts) Thu Jun 2, 2016, 10:30 PM
2. Oh my dear fizzgig...
I'm so sorry to read this. You know if I were there, I'd give you a big hug and a kleenex.
I'm glad you posted. This is just why we have this Group: so we can vent and people will hear you.
I wish I knew how to help.
Well, actually, we're all glad thunderthighs posted, as this forums been deader than a cemetery ever since Big Mo took off for parts unknown. How's a forum to get any traffic if primitives don't post?
flamin lib (7,501 posts) Thu Jun 2, 2016, 10:36 PM
3. Wish I were there. Can't really help and nobody really knows what you're feeling right now
but a touch can help. Sorry you're so far away.
retrowire (7,771 posts) Thu Jun 2, 2016, 10:39 PM
4. Fizzgig!
Know that it hurt my heart reading about the pains that are burdening you right now. You've got a friend in me and the rest of us in the group here.
I got two questions for you, are you able to make some "you" time? I think you need to give a little time to yourself. Is this possible?
And two, have you told your husband exactly how he's making you feel lately? Have you told him that you're feeling like you're without support in the world? Because aside from your friends here in the support group, your husband should be your rock.
Has he always been this way or is this post surgery behavior?
Trust me; thunderthigh's hubby is a dud, a flabby flaccid loser, an inconsiderate jerk.
