This open letter is a live thread for the Democrat caucus in Guam, taking place on Saturday, May 7, in which twelve delegates to the Democrat national convention are selected.
At the moment, according to the august left-wing
New York Times—a very “left†newspaper despite the primitives’ constant allegations that it’s middle of the road or even “right wing,†but one has to keep in mind the primitives don’t know shit about ideology; to them, anything they don’t like, no matter what it is, is “right wingâ€â€”Messalina Agrippina owns 2,223 delegates, and the old sourassed sourpuss 1,450.
It takes 2,383 delegates to get the nomination, so one can see that’s nothing that’s going to happen this weekend.
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This open letter’s also an open invitation for the Bernie bullies on Skins’s island to give it up and reunite with the supporters of the nominee presumptive.
I can’t speak for them—we’re dread enemies, after all, decent and civilized people versus the primitives—but I’m
pretty sure they’d like all of you back in their fold.
I don’t see why such reunification would be so difficult; after all, all primitives are alike.
And so I urge you to go and rejoin your brothers and sisters, bearing gifts, repenting of your hostility towards your betters, banging the drums and clashing the cymbals, singing and chanting their praises.
I’m
pretty sure they’ll forgive you, re-embracing you with love and joy.
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What might be holding you back is you’re probably embarrassed that you bought Skippy’s Big Lie, that Methuselah’s “more left†than Messalina Agrippina.
Well, yeah, that was embarrassing, the way you got suckered into that, but on the other hand, where in the world is there a person who can stand up and announce “I’ve
never been fooled�
Take some consolation in that at least you got bamboozled by somebody intelligent instead of someone similar with that not-particularly-bright Oreo cookie eight years ago.
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What also might be holding you back, at least in the cases of those of you mentally competent, is the awful realization that you guys were jerks, asses, to the supporters of Messalina Agrippina, saying things and doing things to them not easy to forget or forgive.
When it comes to winning friends and influencing people, the gimme crowd flunks. Abysmally.
But what you got going for you there—I’m really reluctant to say this, lest the worst elements of you take advantage of it—is that supporters of the lady are generally kind and good-natured, eager to get along with others, anxious to please others, willing to go halfway—and more if necessary—and generally pleasant people.
There’s some I’m not sure of, but I can assure you that Wills the William769 primitive, and Jugs, and the brooklynite primitive, and the buzzy one are nice people. Maybe they’re the ones you should go to first, offering to make amends, after which they’ll smooth out the road ahead to their pals.
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And so I urge all of you, the Bernie bullies on Skins’s island, to rid yourself of the burdens of your anger and hate and selfishness, and go singing and rejoicing to your brothers and sisters who were right from the start.
Otherwise, sooner or later, my fellow alum Skins is going to force, to coerce, cooperation upon you, and Skins is not always a nice guy. So do it while you can do it freely.