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Author Topic: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation  (Read 745 times)

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Offline franksolich

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the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« on: March 25, 2016, 12:21:32 PM »
http://jackpineradicals.org/showthread.php?7249-A-big-thing-at-the-jewish-pickle-factory

I came across this while looking around for Skippy, and failing to find him.  He's probably cloistered with his checkered-scarved decapitating pals.  They of course aren't going to let him in on the super-secret plans afoot, but he's "inside" enough they'll tip him off on less secret plans to wreak murder and mayhem upon innocent people.

Anyway, I couldn't find Skippy, but I did find this.

Quote
The Wizard of OS
Yesterday, 09:45 PM #1 

A big thing at the jewish pickle factory

Apology upfront to any I offended. WOS

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Jewish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Yossel tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"

Yossel replied, "I think she got fired, too."

Here's the only funny thing about this racist joke:

Quote
Manny Goldstein
Yesterday, 10:40 PM #5

OK... if he's Jewish, then how could he have a completely-intact schmeckle?

Oy!

My good pal Manny isn't as good with his Hebraic knowledge as he thinks he is; the goyim franksolich caught the mistake right away.

It's schmekele, Manny, schmekele.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2016, 12:35:40 PM »
Because I grew up during the last half of the Cold War, I became an avid Kremlin-watcher, reading between the lines of what the socialists were saying, to arrive at their real meaning, their real intent.

The Cold War's been over for a while, but I find my Kremlin-watching skills--reading between the lines so as to decipher the true meaning of things--still handy, and detected a sea-change in the big guy.

The joke ridicules those of Hebraic derivation.

At the moment there happens to be one presidential candidate of Judaic derivation.

<<<wondering if the big guy's trying to subtly signal that he's changing his favorite candidate, to the worthier one, mocking Methuselah like that.

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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2016, 12:42:09 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on March 25, 2016, 12:35:40 PM
<<<wondering if the big guy's trying to subtly signal that he's changing his favorite candidate, to the worthier one, mocking Methuselah like that.

Let him be.  He has no idea, IMO.  His dementia is taking over his brain. :whistling:
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Offline franksolich

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2016, 01:07:55 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on March 25, 2016, 12:42:09 PM
Let him be.  He has no idea, IMO.  His dementia is taking over his brain. :whistling:

The big guy's a fan of Methuselah for the same reason Judy grasswire is.

Neither of them have any understanding of politics; they're Bernie bullies simply because to them, the Bernie bullies are the cool kids while the supporters of Messalina Agrippina are the nerds.

And they want to be with the cool kids.

That's all it is.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2016, 01:13:56 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on March 25, 2016, 01:07:55 PM
The big guy's a fan of Methuselah for the same reason Judy grasswire is.

Neither of them have any understanding of politics; they're Bernie bullies simply because to them, the Bernie bullies are the cool kids while the supporters of Messalina Agrippina are the nerds.

And they want to be with the cool kids.

That's all it is.

I can see your point.  And my reason does remove the idea of being responsible for your actions from the equation. :whistling:
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"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2016, 01:19:41 PM »
Grasswipe and the other bernbot bullies provide us with some symmetry.

Both parties are afflicted by a substantial, aggressive, nutty fringe.
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Offline JakeStyle

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2016, 01:21:28 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on March 25, 2016, 01:07:55 PM
The big guy's a fan of Methuselah for the same reason Judy grasswire is.

Neither of them have any understanding of politics; they're Bernie bullies simply because to them, the Bernie bullies are the cool kids while the supporters of Messalina Agrippina are the nerds.

And they want to be with the cool kids.

That's all it is.

That's exactly right.  Steve was a big sweaty Hillary supporter until the Bernie drones started to dominate DU, he just wants be one of the hipsters.
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Offline tanstaafl

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2016, 02:38:25 PM »
Quote from: JakeStyle on March 25, 2016, 01:21:28 PM
That's exactly right.  Steve was a big sweaty Hillary supporter until the Bernie drones started to dominate DU, he just wants be one of the hipsters.

Yeah, that's right, Jake.

And, as soon as Mr. Moskva begins whittling down on the really annoying bernie-bots, ol' Steve of Dementia will come back on as a manic supporter of the worthier candidate, with a story of how the flower people had taken over his thought process (a minor, minor struggle).
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Offline thundley4

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2016, 02:57:46 PM »
I've seen that joke many times but never with it being a Jewish guy. Just a guy that lusted after the pickle slicer.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2016, 03:44:33 PM »
Quote from: JakeStyle on March 25, 2016, 01:21:28 PM
That's exactly right.  Steve was a big sweaty Hillary supporter until the Bernie drones started to dominate DU, he just wants be one of the hipsters.

Steve Dawes, putting the 'hippo' in 'hipster'.



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Offline Airwolf

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2016, 05:50:21 PM »
Seriously Steve? I doubt that one of our mutual friends would have found that joke funny at all. Good thing you no longer hang out with the cool kids in Omaha.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2016, 06:16:06 PM »
Steve Dawes worked in a water treatment plant sitting in the catbird seat. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the condom catcher.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Steve to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Marta, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Steve tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the condom catcher.

He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Marta gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the condom catcher?"

Steve replied, "I think she got fired, too."
« Last Edit: March 26, 2016, 06:20:07 PM by BattleHymn »
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2016, 06:19:36 PM »
Steve Dawes watched high school girl's basketball for many years. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the bench water cooler.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from a psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Steve to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came back from the basketball game very early. His wife, Marta, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Steve tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the bench water cooler.

He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately arrested.

Marta gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the bench cooler?"

Steve replied, "I think she got arrested, too."
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Offline Skul

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2016, 06:41:06 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on March 26, 2016, 06:16:06 PM
Steve Dawes worked in a water treatment plant sitting in the catbird seat. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickel slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Steve to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Marta, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Steve tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the condom catcher.

He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Marta gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, vacant space. No pens, nothing. 

The end.

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Offline thundley4

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2016, 06:58:33 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on March 26, 2016, 06:16:06 PM
Steve Dawes worked in a water treatment plant sitting in the catbird seat. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the condom catcher.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Steve to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Marta, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Steve tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the condom catcher.

He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Marta gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the condom catcher?"

Steve replied, "I think he got fired, too."
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Offline JakeStyle

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2016, 07:16:16 PM »
He was so proud of his joke that he made an OP about it at DU.

Quote
Fri Mar 25, 2016, 06:05 PM

Star Member Omaha Steve (61,384 posts)

What do mac & cheese & a off color joke about a pickle factory have in common?

The two most popular posts in my room over at Jackpine Radicals to date: http://jackpineradicals.org/forumdisplay.php?39-The-Wizard-Room

Over there I'm know as the Wizard of OS.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027715349
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: the big guy offends those of Hebraic derivation
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2016, 08:00:05 PM »
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