Bertha takes stock of herself; finds herself overstocked

[BannedFromDU]

Bertha Venation (21,348 posts)

Lounge might be the wrong place but I need to unload(will leave that one alone)


and the Lounge is filled with friendlies.

For many years I've been in denial about the state of my health. To the point where, if asked on a doctor's form to gauge the state of my health, I mark "good."

I had a come-to-jesus meeting with myself last night and this morning. I forced myself to face the fact that my health is not good. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a couple of significant psych diagnoses. I take a handful of pills twice a day. And FFS, I'm 130 pounds overweight.

Good health, indeed.

I've made few serious attempts to lose weight since diabetes diagnosis ten years ago, but when I have truly tried, I've done well for a few weeks, then failed. What worked the best was counting carbs. Writing down everything I eat and counting up the carbs. Doc says three meals and three snacks per day. Meals 30-45 carbs, snacks 15-20 carbs.

I have to write it, with ink on paper. I can't do it online. If I do, I make the entries and they're gone; I don't look back at them. I need to look daily at what I've written - at what I've eaten. If it's written in a notebook I keep at hand, it will be better.

I'll take advice if you have any.

I'm 52 years old, and I want to see my wife, 11 years older, through old age. I want to grow old with her. I want to have many, many years together. I won't have that if I continue to ruin my health.

Paging Dr. Obvious...


Well, good on Bertha for having a look in the mirror, but she doesn't need advice. She needs to eat less and move more. And that's that. Period. But let's see what te DUmbasses suggest....

Why, how's about a bushel of freshly-dropped names, Bertha?

DFW (18,705 posts)
4. Two words of advice

The same words I was told after finding out I had two coronary arteries 99% blocked: cold turkey.

The hospital summoned my wife in the day after the stents were put in, and said OK, here are your options: from now on, no more butter, cheese, whole milk, peanut butter, eggs, red meat or ice cream. PERIOD. Either that, or your husband is back here in short order, and maybe only for an autopsy.

For that reason and no other, I NEVER say my health is "good"--only that my condition is stable.

I went on the medication they told me to take, and, as cruel as it was, went off all that good stuff. I was so rigorous about it that after a year my cholesterol went down way below the danger level, and the cardiologist told me I could loosen up a little, but only a little.

I had my cardiac near-miss in 2004, at age--guess what? 52. I'm 63 now. In those 11 years, I've seen my wife age hardly a bit (we're the same age), seen both my daughters graduate from college and get jobs that support them, traveled to countries I had never been to, played my guitar in front of Bill Clinton, played duets with Theodore Bikel and Howard Dean, hung with Barack Obama and Stan Lee, and made friends with the real Adrian Cronauer (the central figure in the "Good Morning Vietnam" story).

So, I ask you this: not knowing what the future holds, what would 11 extra years be worth to you?

Yes, you ****ing insecure asshole, let's make it all about YOU and YOUR accomplishments. That'll make someone feel GREAT about themselves. What a self-important sack of shit you are. You need as much help as Bertha, you turd.

Otherwise the DUmmies are pretty OK with telling the stupid woman to take the food out of her gaping maw and start walking.

Marc: seriously, man. You're pathetic (and PS: none of those people remember you.)

[Big Dog]

Big, Big Bertha

Doc says three meals and three snacks per day. Meals 30-45 carbs, snacks 15-20 carbs.

For the love of Dog. 195 grams of carbohydrates? That's like 7 Snickers bars, every single day.

[franksolich]

What Big Bertha needs to do is forget all this same-sex shit, and go out and get laid by a man.

That'll change her life in a hurry.

[Carl]

You are a lunatic,that is all you need to know.

[BannedFromDU]

You are a lunatic,that is all you need to know.

     ...and Marc has met famous people. Don't forget that.

     

[freedumb2003b]

DFW (18,705 posts)
...
 In those 11 years, I've seen my wife age hardly a bit (we're the same age), seen both my daughters graduate from college and get jobs that support them, traveled to countries I had never been to, played my guitar in front of Bill Clinton, played duets with Theodore Bikel and Howard Dean, hung with Barack Obama and Stan Lee, and made friends with the real Adrian Cronauer (the central figure in the "Good Morning Vietnam" story).

Who needs to drop pounds when you can drop names and get the same health benefits?

TiT is never far away.

[98ZJUSMC]

http://and made friends with the real Adrian Cronauer

Heh!!     Missed, that one.

[SVPete]

Take away the psych diagnoses and substitute a heart attack for diabetes and that was me 12 1/2 years ago. I los some weight, but didn't get serious until 4 1/2 years ago. Eat less, move more, that's it in a nutshell, but there's lots of devils in the details.

It has to be something(s) she can work into and make the basis for a new lifestyle. I don't think "cold turkey" is a good idea, because it isn't a sustainable lifestyle, nor even a stepping stone toward one. Go for portion control and balance, and cut down (or out) stupid calories like sodas and candy and such. Don't try to run a half marathon on Day 1. Do a 20 minute walk that is challenging, and gradually increase speed/distance and time. Who knows, maybe in 6-12 months she could walk a 5K (3.11 miles) in less than an hour.

[BannedFromDU]

Take away the psych diagnoses and substitute a heart attack for diabetes and that was me 12 1/2 years ago. I los some weight, but didn't get serious until 4 1/2 years ago. Eat less, move more, that's it in a nutshell, but there's lots of devils in the details.

It has to be something(s) she can work into and make the basis for a new lifestyle. I don't think "cold turkey" is a good idea, because it isn't a sustainable lifestyle, nor even a stepping stone toward one. Go for portion control and balance, and cut down (or out) stupid calories like sodas and candy and such. Don't try to run a half marathon on Day 1. Do a 20 minute walk that is challenging, and gradually increase speed/distance and time. Who knows, maybe in 6-12 months she could walk a 5K (3.11 miles) in less than an hour.

     You're a normal person. Her process, by contrast, will be slowed by the ritual blaming of kkkorporations for getting her fat in the first place, what with their HFCS and such like. Then she will appeal to the cost of quality food and the comfort provided by excess food which helps her tolerate the memory of the Bush* regime. Then she'll claim that she is one of the select portion of society that CANNOT lose weight due to glandular/hormonal problems. Then she'll blame her meds for stunting her weight loss, which will morph into a 300-reply thread about how one part of Big Pharma is supporting another part of Big Pharma by ensuring that people stay fat and depressed. Then she'll use her knee troubles as an excuse.  She'll put up enough obstacles to her own progress that she'll give up before she even tries.*



* - all of which is preferable to the insufferable prick DFW dropping more names of people who couldn't give two shits about him.

[GOBUCKS]

What Big Bertha needs to do is forget all this same-sex shit, and go out and get laid by a man.

There's never been a time when coach wasn't willing to take one for the team.

[Big Dog]

There's never been a time when coach wasn't willing to take one for the team.

[SVPete]

     You're a normal person. Her process, by contrast, will be slowed by the ritual blaming of kkkorporations for getting her fat in the first place, what with their HFCS and such like. Then she will appeal to the cost of quality food and the comfort provided by excess food which helps her tolerate the memory of the Bush* regime. Then she'll claim that she is one of the select portion of society that CANNOT lose weight due to glandular/hormonal problems. Then she'll blame her meds for stunting her weight loss, which will morph into a 300-reply thread about how one part of Big Pharma is supporting another part of Big Pharma by ensuring that people stay fat and depressed. Then she'll use her knee troubles as an excuse.  She'll put up enough obstacles to her own progress that she'll give up before she even tries.*



* - all of which is preferable to the insufferable prick DFW dropping more names of people who couldn't give two shits about him.

All entirely possible, even probable. And one thing that slipped my mind last evening is that her diabetes complicates what she can do.

"If" is sometimes one of the biggest words in the English language. IF she can bring herself to acknowledge that she has to work from where she is today, and IF she can take full responsibility for where she is today, she may be able to do the years of work necessary to get her somewhere healthy, with a lifestyle that could sustain that progress.

FWIW, after some 8 months of "gradually increasing speed/distance and time" my time for the 5K at the 2011 Silicon Valley Turkey Trot was 49:30. A little over 10 months later I did a half marathon (~3 hours, 31 minutes, I didn't burn up any asphalt). IOW I did what I suggested; not at all amazing, just pointing out that it can be done.

[Skul]

What Big Bertha needs to do is forget all this same-sex shit, and go out and get laid by a man.

That'll change her life in a hurry.

The only thing that might hit that, is Stevenumbers.   Then again, that may even tax the horndog's libido.

[thundley4]

The only thing that might hit that, is Stevenumbers.   Then again, that may even tax the horndog's libido.

Then again, she might make Stevenumbers turn queer.

[franksolich]

There's never been a time when coach wasn't willing to take one for the team.

I'm working on it, I'm working on it.

[obumazombie]

Bertha found that she was morbidly obese, and it all happened overnight !