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Author Topic: Is it possible for DUers to discuss the dynamics of BDSM?  (Read 882 times)

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Offline dutch508

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Is it possible for DUers to discuss the dynamics of BDSM?
« on: July 28, 2014, 06:03:51 PM »
This should be a total train wreck...

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derby378 (29,420 posts) http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025303490
Is it possible for DUers to discuss the dynamics of BDSM without mentioning "that book?"
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have dominant tendencies. I am not a full-fledged dom, and won't insult real dominators or dominatrixes by claiming to be one. I'm just an unassuming and somewhat shy guy with a bit of a kinky streak.
Why is it there? Why does it feel good to exercise this? What are the psychological facets and origins of such a tendency? These are worthy questions to be asked by anyone with dom or sub tendencies, and I'm hoping we can hash it out as adults without mentioning any recent books that Gilbert Gottfried may have satirized.
So let's talk.

If I was to go all Jungian on his ass I would say he is trying to overcome his shyness in real life by living out DOM fantasies in the bedroom...

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BainsBane (27,692 posts)
2. I would say so But I have repeatedly been told I am not allowed to speak on the subject (or even about the concept of literary and cultural analysis) since I have not read the book, which seems to have taken on Biblical dimensions, complete with Papal infallibility.

She is still pissy they told her she couldn't review a book without reading it...

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Erich Bloodaxe BSN (2,527 posts)
6. Do we need to?

The discussion about 'that book' was never about BDSM. At any rate, if you want to go all psychiatryish and all, I'd say it goes back to a desire for control. With the world and the country being as effed up as they are, and things like job security having vanished, everyone mourns the loss of any feeling of control in their lives, and wants to have something, somewhere, that they can feel a sense of control in. The same motivation that creates writers, gardeners, neat freaks, BDSM folks, bodybuilders. Anyone who wants to take one facet of their existence, and be able to reclaim some sense of control and choice that is not forced upon you by governments, corporations, or religions. And I apply that equally to tops and bottoms. Even when you're contracting to be a bottom, you're setting the boundaries of what will and will not happen.

What a buzz kill.

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whathehell (13,181 posts)
7. I'm not an expert on the subject, but Psychologists say that S&M is actually a quest for emotional intimacy because the practitioners, sadly enough, have never known any that didn't come from hurting or being hurt. They've never known intimate feelings that weren't part of a power dynamic -- which is actually the opposite of true, positive intimacy.

"You can have power, or you can have love, but you can't have both".

Anonymous

 ::)

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BainsBane (27,692 posts)
8. I have read the opposite. While that is probably true for some, as with any part of the population, I came across references to studies that found that BDSM practitioners are no more psychological damaged that the general population. In fact, one of the criticisms of the book they have voices is that it portrays Grey as a psychologically damaged control freak
.

But you haven't read the book. [but it is true. The Dude is seriously ****ed up] Do you have links to those articles?

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Star Member BainsBane (27,692 posts)
17. I'll hunt it down later. Remind me if I forget Mind you these were popular press articles recounting studies, not studies themselves.

 ::)

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La Lioness Priyanka (47,514 posts)
12. to answer the first question, yes. not so sure about the second i think there is a level of intimacy in having control and giving up control, that doesn't always exist in non-kinky sex. In term of s/m, some people seem to interpret pain as pleasure, and some people to enjoy giving it for a variety of reasons.
i am not sure that you will find good answers for any of this on DU.

I am not sure you will find any good answers on DU.

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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Is it possible for DUers to discuss the dynamics of BDSM?
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2014, 06:18:09 PM »
I think I'm getting a kinky streak....I want to beat the daylights out of DUmmies.
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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Is it possible for DUers to discuss the dynamics of BDSM?
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2014, 06:24:18 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on July 28, 2014, 06:18:09 PM
I think I'm getting a kinky streak....I want to beat the daylights out of DUmmies.

I think so many people feel that way it can't be deviant but is probably the normative.
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Offline Ogre

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Re: Is it possible for DUers to discuss the dynamics of BDSM?
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2014, 06:25:56 PM »
I think the more apt question is, can we stomach the primitives discussion of BDSM?

Their everyday pissing and moaning (no pun intended) is enough to turn stomachs at times.

Now you want them to rationally discuss the dynamics of BDSM.

I mean what happens between a consenting primitive and whatever timid woodland creature, farm animal, or stray dog should stay between the primitive and such said animal and not trotted out (again, no pun intended) for decent and civilized (borrowed from Frank) people to see.  :fuelfire:
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Is it possible for DUers to discuss the dynamics of BDSM?
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2014, 07:53:14 PM »
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derby378 (29,420 posts)

Is it possible for DUers to discuss the dynamics of BDSM without mentioning "that book?"
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have dominant tendencies. I am not a full-fledged dom, and won't insult real dominators or dominatrixes by claiming to be one. I'm just an unassuming and somewhat shy guy with a bit of a kinky streak.

derbynumbers slaps himself while he's masturbating.
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