Dems Condemn Hegseth For Using Money To Feed Soldiers Instead of Somali Daycare

[Ralph Wiggum]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats criticized Secretary of War Pete Hegseth for giving frontline U.S. soldiers a nice meal when that money could have gone to fund Somali daycare centers in Minnesota.

"I condemn these expenditures in the strongest of terms," Senator Chuck Schumer told members of the press. "There are literally millions of children in Minneapolis who need this money to be able to attend Somali daycare. It is absolutely disgusting to instead use it to give our soldiers a steak."

New financial records reveal Hegseth spent millions on food for troops serving in combat zones, and yet did not send a single penny from the Department of War to fund any "Learing Centers".

"Yeah, we're the Department of War. We don't fund daycare centers. It's really not our thing" explained Hegseth. "I just wanted to do something nice for the soldiers."

Democrats, however, were unimpressed with Hegseth's defense. "This is classic fascism," said Schumer. "Giving soldiers things to eat is fascism 101. I will never rest until I bring down this corrupt administration that is wasting taxpayer money that could have gone to the Minneapolis 'Chilrens Scool Hous".

At publishing time, Democrats had uncovered a devastating new report that Secretary Hegseth had also provided frontline soldiers with a small dessert.

Hegseth BEE feeding the troops too much good food

[RonE]

It used to be easy to spot satire.

[SVPete]

Here the IRL basis for the Bee's very slight satire:

Military is winning in Iran, so the media spins a lobster tale

https://donsurber.substack.com/p/telling-0024-of-the-lobster-tale?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=1115457&post_id=190658482&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=9bg2k&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email

In the final month of the fiscal year—when federal agencies drain the remains of their budget allotments—the military spent $6.1 million on lobster, $16.6 million on rib-eyes, $6.8 million on Alaska king crabs and salmon, and $117,787 on donuts.

That was part of a $79.4 billion final spending spree for the month.

That happened in 2024, under Lloyd Austin, Biden’s occasionally AWOL secretary of defense.
...
Real Clear Investigations called it the “Waste of the Day.” I was disappointed because for the first time I can remember, Real Clear Politics and its subsidiaries let me down.

Iowa Senator Joni Ernst tweeted, “Maintaining our national security is the highest priority, but we must ensure that defense dollars are spent on just that, defense.

“We need a full audit of the Pentagon and to declare war on waste by ending the use-it-or-lose-it model that encourages defenseless spending.”

Progs' need to distract from the successes of the campaign against Iran intersected with Progs' hatred of the military and military personnel, fauxny scandal mode engaged.