Leroy, er, Lamond, recites a poem

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018620322

Oh my.

I need to hear about this.

MrScorpio (59,716 posts)    Fri May 23, 2014, 07:30 PM

MrScorpio recites a poem

http://www.mixcloud.com/Mr_Scorpio/the-chaos-by-g-nolst-trenite-aka-charivarius-1870-1946-recited-by-mrscorpio/
 
"The Chaos" by G. Nolst Trenite, a.k.a. Charivarius (1870-1946). See:

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

No primitive responses, as it's still new.

Anyway.

I'm assuming the link is to some sort of audio.

If so, can someone who can hear listen and describe what sort of voice O'Dorkio has?

It's important for development of a story; thanks!

[franksolich]

This is from the story, and if Larry, er, Lamond's voice isn't suitable for a revival preacher, I'll have to tweak the story.

“’…..the collection plates used to be filled more with firearms than with money, and sometimes still do, whenever Reverend Lamond speaks.

“’The guns, when traced, are usually found to have been stolen from registered owners.

“’In every neighborhood in which Reverend Lamond speaks, crime rates plummet as he implores his audience, “Jesus loves you; come to Jesus.”’

“’And come they do, by the thousands…..’”

The femme was reading from a magazine article she’d found at the library in the big city, one of those supermarket celebrity rags, with a photograph of the minister on the front cover.

“I don’t understand his attraction,” I said; “I mean, he looks like a pineapple mounted upon a bigger pineapple.  Not a turn-on at all.”

“It’s his voice,” the femme said; “I listened to part of one of his sermons on the internet before coming here, and he’s got a good voice, a really compelling, persuasive voice.

“I think it’s a really good voice.”

Oh, I said.  “Well, that’s nothing I’d know anything about, not being able to hear voices.”

“Let me know,” the femme instructed, “when you decide which sermons you’re going to go watch, because I want to come along.”

“You don’t want to come along to hear Lonnie speak--”

“’Lamond,’” she interrupted; “’Lamond.’”

[FlippyDoo]

I listened to it frank. I’ve been sitting here trying to think of some visual references to help you out, but I’m at a loss.

I will say that in my opinion he is well spoken. He speaks much better than I do. He has good pronunciation. I couldn’t detect any regional accent. He definitely has a male voice, but it has a soft somewhat feminine quality. Despite the soft quality it occasionally has just a touch of gravel. Sort of like his throat is dry.

I don't think he could be a fire and brimstone revival preacher, but he could be an "I feel you pain so give me your money" preacher.

Based on his DU posts I can’t stand the guy, but in all honesty he could probably get a job recording audio books.

Of course, the above are just opinions and opinions vary.

[FlippyDoo]

frank, I made my previous post before reading your story. In my opinion, you're on the money.

[franksolich]

.....but he could be an "I feel you pain so give me your money" preacher.

Thanks, sir.

The plans weren't to have Lester, er, Lamond, be a bellowing or shouting sort of preacher, but rather a "persuasive" one.  So I won't have to change anything.

Even before your assessment, I speculated McDorkio had a good voice.

It's kind of like when someone listened to Skippy for me, and informed me Skippy, the NYC_SKP primitive, speaks with a slight lisp.  That told me VOLUMES about Skippy and his dreadful wardrobe.

[BlueStateSaint]

Thanks, sir.

The plans weren't to have Lester, er, Lamond, be a bellowing or shouting sort of preacher, but rather a "persuasive" one.  So I won't have to change anything.

Even before your assessment, I speculated McDorkio had a good voice.

It's kind of like when someone listened to Skippy for me, and informed me Skippy, the NYC_SKP primitive, speaks with a slight lisp.  That told me VOLUMES about Skippy and his dreadful wardrobe.

I listened to some of it.  I agree with Flippy's assessment of it.  Lamond would have to be persuasive as a preacher--he ain't got the vocal chops to be all fire-and-brimstone on your ears.

[USA4ME]

Based on his DU posts I can’t stand the guy, but in all honesty he could probably get a job recording audio books.

If he's going to do that, he'd have to get better at pronouncing the words. Also at the beginning of a sentence his voice takes too long to ramp up and at the end it drops off too soon.

And there is a raspy, dry voice sound. My guess is he has acid reflux and it's damaged his vocal cords to some degree.

.

[franksolich]

If he's going to do that, he'd have to get better at pronouncing the words. Also at the beginning of a sentence his voice takes too long to ramp up and at the end it drops off too soon.

And there is a raspy, dry voice sound. My guess is he has acid reflux and it's damaged his vocal cords to some degree.

Whoa.

Talk about being prescient.

Now, remember, I can't hear, and was guessing what his voice sounds like--making a stab in the dark--so I could use it in the story, and I'd already given his voice that quality, of a slow low start rising to a vigorous crescendo.

<<<patting self on back.

[USA4ME]

... and I'd already given his voice that quality, of a slow low start rising to a vigorous crescendo.

As long as you drop it back to "What were his last words?", then you got something.

.

[FlippyDoo]

If he's going to do that, he'd have to get better at pronouncing the words. Also at the beginning of a sentence his voice takes too long to ramp up and at the end it drops off too soon.

And there is a raspy, dry voice sound. My guess is he has acid reflux and it's damaged his vocal cords to some degree.

.

I agree with the raspy, dry comment. That's what I meant in my comment about it having a touch of gravel.

I did think he did okay with the pronouncing. Keep in mind, that where I'm at there's a bunch of different "pronouncing" so there's no way I'd qualify as an expert in that area.