With that in mind, I think she should be forced to buy two bus tickets. I can't imagine being stuck next to somebody like her from Joplin all the way to Tucson.
Oh, I don't know. That's a nice, long bus ride. Really long.
She would have time to tell you all about dreamy Dave and that rat Chad, and Crystal, and mom, and the convenient store, and Primavera, and Wishadoo!, and everything. She might even tell you about her book.
And while she's telling you all of that, with undisciplined 0bamaite kids running in the aisle screaming at each other, and the bus temperature way too hot or way too cool, and hour after hour of road noise, you would have lots of time to reflect on why you didn't stay in school so you could have afforded to fly.
It would be a great ride!