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Author Topic: locust primitive wants to get over it  (Read 1140 times)

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Offline franksolich

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locust primitive wants to get over it
« on: April 22, 2013, 08:25:19 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/11513561


Oh my.

The Canadian locust primitive, who's 31 and still living at home with her parents and still in college.

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Locut0s (1,544 posts)    Fri Apr 19, 2013, 03:33 AM

People who don't like you. How to get over this?

I'm sure this is something that those of us with Social Anxiety share in common. An unrelenting need to be liked. I'm pretty good in controlled social environments where I know what to expect, like at work or at school. My anxiety really kicks in much more when getting into new territory or areas where I feel like I'm being judged, like speaking to women or presentations. However even in casual situations where I seem like an extrovert if anything I have my anxieties and big hangups. One of the biggest is that I want everyone to like me. By and large this isn't a problem as I've crafted a personality over the years such that I pretty much get along with everyone. But you inevitably meet people of course that just don't like you for whatever reason.
 
The example I'm thinking of is this one guy in my class who always gives me the cold shoulder. He's open and happy and jokes with everyone else but if I ask him anything I just get short sharp answers. Course the problem is this makes my social anxiety flare up and now I'm concerned all the more that this person doesn't like me so I try to do things to engage them more, which just makes things worse. If they don't like you of course they aren't going to like you asking them MORE questions. Likely these are people who pick up on some kind of "needy" vibe that I give off (though I'm usually pretty good at hiding that). But the immediate emotional reaction is so ingrained in me it's really difficult to stop.
 
It's the silliest thing in the world when you think about it, being so thin skinned that someone giving you the cold shoulder when you try to befriend them should get all your worst insecurities revving. But like I said it's second nature to me.

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Neoma (8,825 posts)    Fri Apr 19, 2013, 12:53 PM

1. I gave someone a free can of soda once.

She didn't hate me after that. I think it was because I actually liked college for its knowledge. That's weird to some people I guess.

^^^the primitive who managed to post on Skins's island from the emergency room, even though her fingers were mangled and she was bawling for narcotics; also, the primitive who was happy to finally find a psychiatrist who spoke English.

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fizzgig (17,368 posts)      Fri Apr 19, 2013, 02:11 PM

2. i honestly stopped giving a shit around my 30th birthday

i live my life for myself, not the approval of other people. i am who i am, if you don't like it, no skin off my nose. i don't know why that came about, it just kind of did.
 
but i also don't need many friends, just good ones. i didn't make a single friend in college.

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olddots (1,705 posts)    Sat Apr 20, 2013, 09:07 PM

3. the times i didn't care were the times i thought maybe a few people liked me.

logically if you want people to like you ,you have to like yourself .....bla bla bla one of our human tricks is to not be logical -depression to me IS logical and that's messed up......WE need some peace ....
 
we think too much .
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2013, 08:55:26 PM »
Quote from:
Locut0s

People who don't like you. How to get over this?

[youtube=425,350]gFLvhKv-Lbo[/youtube]

.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2013, 08:58:07 PM by USA4ME »
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Offline longview

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2013, 09:23:36 PM »
The stuff they fret over!

Get busy doing nice things for others and you won't have time to obsess about your own popularity or lack thereof.  







Edited to add the word "nice."  Thought I'd better be specific when giving advice to DUmmies!
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Offline Freeper

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2013, 09:27:14 PM »
It's easy to get over it, it's called growing up and being an adult.

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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2013, 09:44:14 PM »
Quote from: longview on April 22, 2013, 09:23:36 PM
The stuff they fret over!

Get busy doing nice things for others and you won't have time to obsess about your own popularity or lack thereof.  







Edited to add the word "nice."  Thought I'd better be specific when giving advice to DUmmies!

True, but it also works to actually pick a goal for yourself and work hard toward it, which will take your mind off obsessively worrying about other people's feeeeeeeeeeelings about you.

If Frank's right about this wack-job's back story, she's pretty much on a permanent radar lock with the very people who built the pathological need for approval into her personality, which can't possibly turn out well.
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Offline delilahmused

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2013, 09:57:12 PM »
Oh for heaven's sake! You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea...so the **** what?

Cindie
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Offline wasp69

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2013, 07:07:04 AM »
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Locut0s (1,544 posts)    Fri Apr 19, 2013, 03:33 AM

People who don't like you. How to get over this?

I'm sure this is something that those of us with Social Anxiety share in common. An unrelenting need to be liked.

Then there are those of us that left high school and grew up.   :whatever:
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2013, 08:49:27 AM »
Quote from: wasp69 on April 23, 2013, 07:07:04 AM
Then there are those of us that left high school and grew up.   :whatever:

It sounds like this DUmmie never quite got to the high school stage in the first place.
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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2013, 10:02:30 AM »
Have you tried not being a whiny little bitch or do you assume you're awesome and  they're wrong ergo they must be plotting some evil towards you?

Humility is empowering.
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Offline jukin

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2013, 10:53:33 AM »
What a whiny DUche. Sadly there are a great percentage of young people that are exactly like this. In earlier times they would have died and we would not have to deal with them. I weep for our world.
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Offline Vagabond

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2013, 03:22:29 PM »
The locust primitive will never get over it.  She needs to be liked because she is codependent and can't stand the notion of someone in her world not approving of her.
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Offline Firekrakka

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Re: locust primitive wants to get over it
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2013, 04:37:56 PM »
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People who don't like you. How to get over this?

Easy. Stop caring. Sounds like an emo.

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