It's pretty obvious you're against the 2nd amendment. You don't think guns are any use in self defense. 
Come over here, or if you are scared start a thread over there. 
Sign up. Volunteer. Heck, I'll bet its a paying job.
You'll get a TSA uniform, tailored even for some of your lard-ass sizes/ 
You will get training, a megaphone. You will even get a side arm with hollow points if you want to carry.
Then you will go door to door, searching homes for weapons. You won't need a search warrant, TSA is above that kind of thing. 
So what are you waiting for. Sign up.
See, I post this for a reason. I know liberals. You are great at ordering others to do a risky job, but you are afraid to take the same risk yourselves.
So take the challenge. make a thread on DU. post a poll. 
Its the internet, not a binding contract. You talk a big game. Put your ass on the line. Sign up. 
I dare you.