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Author Topic: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer  (Read 3360 times)

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Offline ScubaGuy

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Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« on: July 06, 2012, 08:21:38 PM »
Now that we've established that the national do not call registry is a joke, not answering doesn't work and asking to be removed from their call list is a waste of time, I've taken a new tactic. 

I tried the pervert routine,  "heh, heh what are you wearing, sound like you're real pretty".  Most I could get is 20 or 30 seconds.
I tried singing to them, no luck.
I tried the racist bigot.  Doesn't work.

Tonight at 8:45 the phone rang; "UNKNOWN CALLER".  My chance to try again :hyper:

I answered with what had to be the cheesiest Asian accent you could ever imagine and they're selling home security.  I rambled on for at least two minutes about "I no trust neighbor, he look scary, need home security, you have security?  Me need home security now, when I get security".  Never let the sales guy get a word in, "but me scared people rook at me funny".  He get his supervisor on the line.  "Is the John Doe?(he used my real name).  "No John gone, no trust him, he go in sreep.  Not wake up, no trust him, he scarry".  He tried to get some words in I started rambling about need gun or big dog.  Big dog must not dog in yard, something out there.

It took at least four minutes before thay hang up.  I'm still laughing my ass off, wish I recorded it.

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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2012, 08:44:12 PM »
 :rofl:

Ya ever have one of those really crappy days at work, where, try as you might, it follows you home?  So you keep to yourself, and try really hard not to bite your loved ones head off, because it isn't their fault? 

Bless you, for giving me something to LOL about, and laugh those troubles back at the door where they belong. 

And Hi 5 too!

 :cheersmate:
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Offline Kyle Ricky

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2012, 08:46:34 PM »
 :lmao: I like doing things like to them also.

The ones that are really irritating me now are the automated caller ones. They call your house and an automated voice comes on the phone. They are getting smart though, because usually you just push "0" and it will tell you that you been removed from their list. Now when you do it, they just keep talking and talking, even if you try to push another number. Then when they finally shut up and hang up, you try to call back on the number that shows up in Caller Id and it tells you the number is not in service - I seriously think some of the cloak their numbers.
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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2012, 08:53:16 PM »
:lmao:
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Offline jtyangel

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2012, 08:54:48 PM »
Quote from: IassaFTots on July 06, 2012, 08:44:12 PM
:rofl:

Ya ever have one of those really crappy days at work, where, try as you might, it follows you home?  So you keep to yourself, and try really hard not to bite your loved ones head off, because it isn't their fault? 

Bless you, for giving me something to LOL about, and laugh those troubles back at the door where they belong. 

And Hi 5 too!

 :cheersmate:

Hi 5..just cause I love me the tots!

As for the telemarketer call.... :lmao:...this reminds me of a funny damn sign I've seen about a bad parking job that someone did and someone of the Asian persuasion left a note of complaint. :lmao:
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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2012, 09:01:34 PM »
Have you guys ever heard of Jim Florentine? he terrorizes telemarketers :lmao:

[youtube=425,350]2dy9lUJJGqI[/youtube]

[youtube=425,350]B949FDroOi8[/youtube]

[youtube=425,350]HpIVxsWq7pQ[/youtube]
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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2012, 09:06:21 PM »
Junkyard Willie is another :lmao: 1:

http://www.junkyardwillie.com/
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Offline Airwolf

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2012, 10:32:30 PM »
one called the other day and the caller ID said "United States G" and that was it. I didn't let them start with their speel after I picked it up.
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Offline Skul

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2012, 10:57:03 PM »
I used to mess with the live people years ago.
Stopped doing that.
They get a "no thanks" and a hang up, now days.
Robocalls get a phone lay-down, the a hang-up after five minutes.
As much as I hate the telemarketing, I know they at least have a job.
One that I could never do.
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2012, 12:58:48 AM »
My old man used to live for salesmen.  One I remember was a guy that stopped at dinner time.  when Pop opened the door the guy immediately said "how would you like a free case of coke".  Pop said "fine leave it on the steps" & slammed the door. I also remember him rushing through the house stripping off his pajama top & getting a beer one Sunday morning so he could welcome a couple of Seventh Day Adventists.  For some reason they declined his invitation to come into the house & sit a spell.
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Offline Skul

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2012, 03:46:29 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on July 07, 2012, 12:58:48 AM
My old man used to live for salesmen.  One I remember was a guy that stopped at dinner time.  when Pop opened the door the guy immediately said "how would you like a free case of coke".  Pop said "fine leave it on the steps" & slammed the door. I also remember him rushing through the house stripping off his pajama top & getting a beer one Sunday morning so he could welcome a couple of Seventh Day Adventists.  For some reason they declined his invitation to come into the house & sit a spell.
They're always clean and reasonably well dressed.
I don't mind them a bit. Simple no thank you is all it takes.
Years ago, when I was still long distance commuting, I had Mormon k9ds doing their whatever.
You know the ones I'm speaking of.
They were very nice young men.
Naturally, they wished to convert, and when they knew that wasn't going to happen...they remained very close friends.
They did ask for me to attend some of there church functions...to bring my telescope.
That I did for the kids.
To this day..I have yet to meet a practicing Mormon, I didn't like.
A practicing Mormon, is the best friend you'll ever have.
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Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline LC EFA

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #11 on: July 07, 2012, 05:31:30 AM »
My standard answer for my landline (no one I know actually rings this number) - is  "Hello this is Khallids Camel repair service , you are speaking with Achmed. Please do be starting by telling me the name and serial number of your camel please sir" - done in a really poor imitation of an Indian accent.

Those people that make it past this and still want to play - get the run around where I pretend to get frustrated and tell them that "I cannot be helping you sir if you are not starting by telling me the name and serial number of your camel please sir".
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Offline CG6468

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #12 on: July 07, 2012, 07:57:58 AM »
What they get from me (when I bother to answer) is: "Who the **** are you? You are invading my privacy! You are in violation of the Do Not Call List! Take this number off your list immediately!! And I mean ****ing IMMEDIATELY, dammit!"

My wife just rolls her eyes upward when I pick up the phone; she knows what's coming.
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Offline longview

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2012, 09:16:07 AM »
The "Do Not Call" list has worked for me.  Either that, or my cheapness is legend. 

My husband, before the days of DoNotCall, used to pride himself on funny exchanges with telemarketers.  Some were quite funny.  Hope the caller got a kick out of them, at least.   
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Offline CG6468

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2012, 10:29:49 AM »
It doesn't work for me. Since 12/11/11, I've received 126 telemarketer calls. Our attorney general won't do anything about it.
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2012, 12:17:19 PM »
Quote from: CG6468 on July 08, 2012, 10:29:49 AM
It doesn't work for me. Since 12/11/11, I've received 126 telemarketer calls. Our attorney general won't do anything about it.

Perhaps they were "his people".
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Offline ScubaGuy

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2012, 09:19:12 PM »
Quote from: LC EFA on July 07, 2012, 05:31:30 AM
My standard answer for my landline (no one I know actually rings this number) - is  "Hello this is Khallids Camel repair service , you are speaking with Achmed. Please do be starting by telling me the name and serial number of your camel please sir" - done in a really poor imitation of an Indian accent.

Those people that make it past this and still want to play - get the run around where I pretend to get frustrated and tell them that "I cannot be helping you sir if you are not starting by telling me the name and serial number of your camel please sir".

That sounds like a good one.  Next caller gets  Achmed Camel Repair.  :cheersmate:
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Offline Delmar

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2012, 10:10:08 PM »
I did a stint as a telemarketer years ago and I was always happy to have some prankster keep me on the line dragging it out thinking that they were messing with me.  Because while it was important to make the occasional sale, a very important aspect of the job was keeping people on the line and not necessarily talking.  The amount of time you spent on the line with people was tracked as a percent of your workday.  One trick people would pull was when I would ask if I could speak with so-and-so was to reply that they would go get them, then just set the phone down and forget about it or whisper in the background.  I relished those calls because I could just sit and relax until after a certain amount of time my supervisor would tell me to read the if you have any questions call the number boilerplate and then I had to hang up--breaks over.  Women that didn't want to hear the spiel would often be condescending(I'm sorry that you're forced to do this low wage job, but I'm just not interested)with men it was usually rage.  Both genders would claim someone in the house was having a medical emergency and they needed to call 911.  I've been called every name in the book.  A common response was someone asking me for my home phone number so they could call me back while I was having my dinner.  They would invariably fly into a rage when I told them that I don't give out my phone number and I don't take calls from telemarketers.    
« Last Edit: July 08, 2012, 10:13:30 PM by Delmar »
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2012, 10:13:38 PM »
Quote from: Delmar on July 08, 2012, 10:10:08 PM
I did a stint as a telemarketer years ago and I was always happy to have some prankster keep me on the line dragging it out thinking that they were messing with me.  Because while it was important to make the occasional sale, a very important aspect of the job was keeping people on the line and talking.  The amount of time you spent on the line with people was tracked as a percent of your workday.  One trick people would pull was when I would ask if I could speak with so-and-so was to reply that they would go get them, then just set the phone down and forget about it or whisper in the background.  I relished those calls because I could just sit and relax until after a certain amount of time my supervisor would tell me to read the if you have any questions call the number boilerplate and then I had to hang up--breaks over.  Women that didn't want to hear the spiel would often be condescending(I'm sorry that you're forced to do this low wage job, but I'm just not interested)with men it was usually rage.  Both genders would claim someone in the house was having a medical emergency and they needed to call 911.  I've been called every name in the book.  A common response was someone asking me for my home phone number so they could call me back while I was having my dinner.  They would invariably fly into a rage when I told them that I don't give out my phone number and I don't take calls from telemarketers.   

I guess I don't know the whole story but, this post kinda leavs a bad taste,
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Offline Delmar

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2012, 10:24:05 PM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on July 08, 2012, 10:13:38 PM
I guess I don't know the whole story but, this post kinda leavs a bad taste,
The point I wanted to get across was that people that try to screw with the telemarketer, shoot the breeze, and kill time are probably doing the telemarketer a favor.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #20 on: July 09, 2012, 09:54:36 AM »
Quote from: CG6468 on July 08, 2012, 10:29:49 AM
It doesn't work for me. Since 12/11/11, I've received 126 telemarketer calls. Our attorney general won't do anything about it.

You live in Illinois.

Your AG is busy trying to further his own career and suck up to the Chicago power players.
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Offline CG6468

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #21 on: July 09, 2012, 09:59:20 AM »
Quote from: Eupher on July 09, 2012, 09:54:36 AM
You live in Illinois.

Your AG is busy trying to further his own career and suck up to the Chicago power players.

HER career. Lisa Madigan is the daughter of Michael Madigan, leader of Madiganistan.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #22 on: July 09, 2012, 10:04:58 AM »
Quote from: CG6468 on July 09, 2012, 09:59:20 AM
HER career. Lisa Madigan is the daughter of Michael Madigan, leader of Madiganistan.

You sure she ain't gay?  :lmao:
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Offline CG6468

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Re: Most fun I've ever had with a telemarketer
« Reply #23 on: July 09, 2012, 10:16:17 AM »
Quote from: Eupher on July 09, 2012, 10:04:58 AM
You sure she ain't gay?  :lmao:

Not sure about that at ALL!!!  :censored:
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