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Author Topic: Favorite part of the Bible.  (Read 1548 times)

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Offline Freeper

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Favorite part of the Bible.
« on: April 25, 2012, 11:00:16 AM »
Quote
SheilaT
 
Favorite part of the Bible.

This was sent to me by a good friend who got it from a Peace Corps buddy of his.

"My favorite part of the Bible is where

Jesus gives money to the rich,

Tells the poor to suck it up,

And asks Caesar for his birth certificate."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002608635

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus preached about taking wealth from the rich by force.  :whatever:

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I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2012, 11:22:11 AM »
Jesus only ever asked for 10%.

He never told the poor to sit home waiting for a check.

And the genealogies prove He was a natural born citizen.
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Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2012, 11:25:19 AM »
Quote from: Freeper on April 25, 2012, 11:00:16 AM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002608635

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus preached about taking wealth from the rich by force.  :whatever:



My favorite part is where the apostles performed an abortion just after presiding over a gay marriage.
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“Sometimes the curses of the godless sound better than the hallelujahs of the pious.”

Martin Luther

Offline Porfiry

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2012, 12:20:54 PM »
"10And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

 11And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

 12That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing."  (1st Thessalonians 4)

and this important reminder:

"For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat."  (2nd Thessalonians 3:10)
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Offline hillneck

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2012, 12:52:50 PM »
Quote from: Freeper on April 25, 2012, 11:00:16 AM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002608635
My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus preached about taking wealth from the rich by force.  :whatever:


These ignorant ass heathens can't understand simple everyday stuff like working hard and providing a living for your family.  How are they going to understand something like the Holy Book?

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Offline Freeper

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2012, 12:57:58 PM »
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RegieRocker
7. Comprehension and definition are not the

strong abilities of a right wing extremists. Further agreement of their twisted perception of what was written by Council of Nicea serves them only. I would make it easy for them to understand you are in disagreement with their perception.

 :whatever:

Quote
rustydog
13. Jesus to blind man: "Sorry, preexisting condition."

 :whatever:

Quote
lame54
14. what about when...

jesus sells the fish and loaves for twice their market value

Or how about when he forced the kid to hand his lunch over? Oh wait he didn't the boy freely gave it to him.
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I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2012, 02:48:59 PM »
Quote
rustydog

13. Jesus to blind man: "Sorry, preexisting condition."

I bet the blind man was grateful to be able to become self-reliant.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2012, 02:59:42 PM »
Damn these people piss me off! Talk about clueless!

It shows in how much all their heroes give to charity every year as compared to our "right wing" Repubs.

FOAD you degenerates!
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Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2012, 04:53:36 PM »
ATTENTION ALL DUMBASSES:

Whenever you get that urge to post a thread like this, where you try to identify conservative positions on issues, kindly click the link in my signature line.  If you read and understand it, you may come to the conclusion that you don't know what you think you know.  You may just save yourself from looking like an effing retard for once.

This has been a public service announcement, because I care.  Sort of.  Okay, not really.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2012, 04:57:31 PM by WinOne4TheGipper »
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“Sometimes the curses of the godless sound better than the hallelujahs of the pious.”

Martin Luther

Offline Kyle Ricky

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2012, 04:55:08 PM »
Those douchenozzles are so stupid. Jesus said to help those who can't help themselves, not help those who refuse to help themselves. I guess that leaves all the liberals out of the equation. Conservatives are so much more morally correct than a liberal jackass.
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Offline MrsSmith

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2012, 05:02:41 PM »
Jesus answered and said unto them, "Go and shew John again those things which ye do hear and see:


The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them.


And blessed is [he], whosoever shall not be offended in me."


The greatest gift you can give a poor person (or anyone else) is the knowledge of the path to eternal life and the riches that actually count.
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Offline Splashdown

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2012, 05:03:35 PM »
How about  the leper who told Jesus, "Don't touch me! I'm on SSDI!!!!"
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Let nothing frighten you. 
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience attains all that it strives for.
He who has God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2012, 08:57:31 PM »
Jesus had plenty of opportunities to condemn the Roman Empire for not providing universal healthcare to all its citizens, or for providing food, clothing, and shelter to the poor, or to dismantle their military and put more money into public education and other social programs.  But I just can't seem to recall Him ever doing that.

Must be me.

.
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Offline Skul

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Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2012, 11:48:20 PM »
My favorite part starts.. "Our Father..."
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John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”
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