a.k.a. The "I'll goddam well give you something to cry about" Act
Whereas it is continually stated that government is obligated to provide for its citizens when they cannot provide for themselves
and it is equally stated that the government is obligated to ensure optimal health of its citizens
and obesity has become the prime health concern for America's poor
and childhood obesity is an ever-growing concern as witnessed by the advocacy of First Lady Michelle Obama
and it is a disgrace that the government would knowingly contribute to this state of affairs
and government believes itself the arbiter of healthy eating choices so much so that it places numerous and various regulations and prohibitions on the private sale and consumption restuarant fare
and the government ought to adhere to its own undergirding principles
and participation in government nutrition-assistance programs is strictly voluntary
BE IT PROPOSED THAT
1) All parents and child guardians applying for or accepting government subsidized school lunch programs
A) have their home of record entered into a database
B) all cable or satellite TV or similar pay services shall deny service to any home wherein such family resides
2) All person receiving food stamps, WIC or other publically-funded nutrition assistance programs shall
A) be prohibited from purchasing alcohol
B) purchasing or using tobacco products
i) shall be tested no less than once every 3 months for use of same
C) shall not maintain a television in their home of record for the duration of their enrollment within a nutrition assistance program
D) shall submit to quarterly cholesterol, diabetes and trans-fatty acid testing
i) those found with excessive cholesterol levels, diabetes or other nutrition-effected maladies shall be assigned modified diets
ii) those on modified diets shall have their food purchases strictly monitored by the issuing authority
iii) deviation from the prescribed diet will result in termination from the nutrition assistance program
