Thief.
It just dawned on me that Pam Dawson could not possibly have written that GBCW post. I feel kind of DUmb that I didn't immediately catch it.
While the post expresses Pam's simpleminded thought process, someone else wrote it for her, or at least completely rewrote it. It has none of Pam's random use of capital letters, only a little of Pam's improper punctuation, none of Pam's really comically poor grammar, and none of Pam's atrocious spelling.
It even uses "albeit", which Pam would never even recognize as an English word. The only little glimpse of Pam in the whole thing is the stupid use of "fan fair" instead of "fanfare". So, the question is, who was Pam's ghost writer?
It wasn't a highly educated person, because the grammar and punctuation are still borderline Pammian, and some of the runon sentences are excruciating. Nevertheless, the ghost writer is immeasurably more literate than Pam. Who might it be? Principal Saunders, the control freak prick, would probably be a better writer. Mark is a drunken wife beater, according to Pam, but he's also an IT professional who must be far smarter than Pam. I think Mark wrote Pam's farewell post, which means he may physically enforce her departure from the forum. We may have actually lost Pam. (But it still won't be a surprise if she returns.)
