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Author Topic: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036  (Read 1891 times)

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Offline notaDUmmie

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News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« on: May 12, 2010, 08:24:19 PM »

Dumbest post I've seen today

Quote
Chipper Chat  (1000+ posts)        Wed May-12-10 08:25 PM
Original message
News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
 BIRD-SIGHTING IN GULF IS PROVEN FALSE (AP)
An eagle scout who said he witnessed a snowy egret in a tree where his troop was on a camping trip now believes that what he thought was a bird was probably just a speck on his protective gas mask. A spokesman for the Florida Wildlife Assn said officials were skeptical of the initial report as no egrets, pelicans, or terns have been seen off the Florida coast since the devastating oil spill of 2010 all but wiped out Florida's seabird population. The scout troop, which had been camping on one of the barrier islands despite environmental warnings, returned to Miami yesterday with recovered artifacts such as oil-crusted seashells and rotten but preserved-in-oil coconuts which grew until 2015 when all the trees suddenly died. In Washington, President Marco Rubio praised the scouts for their interest in preserving 'old-Florida history' - the way Florida used to be back in its heyday when tourism was the main industry and the rivers were full of edible fish. Florida's population has decreased by half since the oil spill. Florida retirees Justin and Kaitlyn McCollum worked at Disney World before its closure in 2017. They now live in New York City because (as ex-surferdude Justin put it) "we could no longer stand the constant stench of oil in the air and we are bird-lovers. NYC has such beautiful pigeons and starlings"

 

Everyone knows that NYC will be destroyed by Obama's terrorist buddies before 2036. :thatsright:
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2010, 10:34:31 PM »
Dumbest in an hour maybe
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Offline LC EFA

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2010, 05:08:01 AM »
Yeah - If all these leftist fap fantasies came true shouldn't we be living in equatorial igloos now huddled around waiting for the ice age to end or to cause another pole shift or some such drivel.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2010, 05:19:53 AM »
I said it before--my semi-lefty supervisor at the lab had a saying about things like the oil spill.

"Dilution is the solution to pollution."

It will all work out.  The DUmb****s are such drama queens.  :overreaction:

Pretty soon, they'll complain about gasoline prices going up from this. :ohnoes:
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Offline miskie

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2010, 05:43:16 AM »
Quote from: notaDUmmie on May 12, 2010, 08:24:19 PM
Dumbest post I've seen today
 
Everyone knows that NYC will be destroyed by Obama's terrorist buddies before 2036. :thatsright:

Oh Gawd.. I figure in a year or two there will be a new Eco Disaster/Armageddon type movie about the oil spill...  :whatever:
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Offline zeitgeist

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2010, 07:05:06 AM »
Quote from: miskie on May 13, 2010, 05:43:16 AM
Oh Gawd.. I figure in a year or two there will be a new Eco Disaster/Armageddon type movie about the oil spill...  :whatever:

Complete with ecco-pirates, mini submersibles, scantily clad babes, metrosexual marine biologists?  I bet it is being cast as I type or is that type cast as I ..... oh never mind. 

You are spot on.
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Offline Zathras

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2010, 01:58:15 PM »
Wait, wait, wait....how can the DUmmys have a newspaper article from 2036 when we all know the world's going to end on 12-21-2012?
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2010, 02:09:25 PM »
2036

The Miami Herald will be a 3-man blog by then
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Offline Karin

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2010, 09:30:17 AM »
Quote
rotten but preserved-in-oil coconuts
  Say what?  Which one is it?  Stupid.   :lmao:

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Offline ReaganForRushmore

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2010, 05:06:40 PM »
The oil spill is bad.........that being said, the well blow out in 1980 was far worse and took ten months to cap. The Mexican government realized they had a mess on their hands after 9 months and hired
Boots and Coots and The Adair Company to handle the mess. One month later, the well was stabilized and capped. Gulf War I, when Saddam lit up the Kuwaiti oil fields, The same chicken littles said they would
burn for years and that the air pollution would darken the sky for a decade. What happened? The wells were capped within 6 months. Yes, there will an environmental impact and yes, BP should be made to pay for it.

I fear that the Obama Administration is manufacturing a crisis in order to take over the Oil Industry.
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2010, 05:11:41 PM »
Manufactured crises is their MO
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Offline asdf2231

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2010, 05:15:49 PM »
Quote
Chipper Chat  (1000+ posts)        Wed May-12-10 08:25 PM
Original message
News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
 BIRD-SIGHTING IN GULF IS PROVEN FALSE (AP)
An eagle scout who said he witnessed a snowy egret in a tree where his troop was on a camping trip now believes that what he thought was a bird was probably just a speck on his protective gas mask. A spokesman for the Florida Wildlife Assn said officials were skeptical of the initial report as no egrets, pelicans, or terns have been seen off the Florida coast since the devastating oil spill of 2010 all but wiped out Florida's seabird population. The scout troop, which had been camping on one of the barrier islands despite environmental warnings, returned to Miami yesterday with recovered artifacts such as oil-crusted seashells and rotten but preserved-in-oil coconuts which grew until 2015 when all the trees suddenly died. In Washington, President Marco Rubio praised the scouts for their interest in preserving 'old-Florida history' - the way Florida used to be back in its heyday when tourism was the main industry and the rivers were full of edible fish. Florida's population has decreased by half since the oil spill. Florida retirees Justin and Kaitlyn McCollum worked at Disney World before its closure in 2017. They now live in New York City because (as ex-surferdude Justin put it) "we could no longer stand the constant stench of oil in the air and we are bird-lovers. NYC has such beautiful pigeons and starlings

Because NYC is such a freaking olfactory haven. Holy Hell.
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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: News article from the Miami Herald - January 5, 2036
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2010, 05:34:58 PM »
My news site is funnier.
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