Twix candy bar primitive, part two for today

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7194570

Oh my.

TwixVoy  (1000+ posts)        Thu Dec-10-09 08:18 AM
NOMINATED FOR TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Original message
 
Next year I am joining the war on Christmas. Stores are killing Christmas off

So I just realized that no one has yet exploited the war on Christmas to turn a profit. With all these suckers out there this is a valuable source of income that is not being tapped in to.

Next year I am creating a web site called Where-Would-Jesus-Shop.com

The tag line will be "For years you've had to go from store to store to find out which store used the word Christmas the most. Isn't it horribly time consuming? This year we've done the work for you! Check out our exclusive all inclusive list of the most Christmas friendly stores in America!"

I will charge $5 a pop for anyone who wants the painfully time consuming list researched and put together in Microsoft Word in 10 minutes with some clip art pasted in to make it look like some work was put in to it.

I figure I will pull in $50,000 easy from these suckers.

Then the following year when my customer base has been built up I will introduce a new product called "Christmas Friendly Products".

It will be a list of all the hot Christmas products and will read like this

"This year we strongly recommend the Nintendo Wii! We took 3 Nintendo Wii's down to our local church and had them blessed. This is truly a Christmas friendly gift! Praise Jesus!

We strongly do NOT recommend the Nikon 200 series camera this year. A large number of Muslims have been seen purchasing this camera. If Jesus were alive today he would condemn this camera to hell"

I will charge $50 a pop for this list.

If things go well enough I may even start making some under the table deals with retailers.

"Dear Wal-mart,

As you know my web site where-would-jesus-shop.com had over 200,000 visitors last year. It was tragic that your store was only number 5 on the list of Christmas friendly stores. If you would be kind enough to send a $100,000 advertising expenses check to us to buy the number 1 spot we are sure you would see at least double the return in sales.

Best regards and praise Jesus!"

I am only half kidding about this. Part of me really wants to do this. There is money to be made off the hate and ignorance of these suckers.....

The primitive comments are as frivolous as this bonfire, so no need bringing them over.

[Traveshamockery]

The DUmmies sure have a lot of internet wet dreams, don't they?

First www.quarantinefox.com - which has become an international success with a record of 10 visitors this year (mostly by Conservative Cave people to make fun of it). 

Now we will have www.where-would-jesus-shop.com ? 

Why don't I come up with these brilliant ideas? 


 

[diesel driver]

The DUmmies sure have a lot of internet wet dreams, don't they?

First www.quarantinefox.com - which has become an international success with a record of 10 visitors this year (mostly by Conservative Cave people to make fun of it). 

Now we will have www.where-would-jesus-shop.com ? 

Why don't I come up with these brilliant ideas? 


 

DUmmies are still having wet dreams....

www.quarantinefoxnews.com is still not up and running, after a DUmmie registered the domain name about 8 months ago....   

www.where-would-jesus-shop.com doesn't exist, at least, my ISP couldn't find it....   

I bet all those "thousands" DUmmie twix is thinking about is a wet dream, too....