Utah primitive needs an attorney

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=181x748

Oh my.

This bonfire was lit last April, but was still burning last month; not much action in the forum for Utah primitives.

demwing  (1000+ posts)      Sat Apr-11-09 12:51 PM
Original message
 
I Need A Lawyer, Quickly

If there are any DUers in Utah who are also Lawyers, I need council now.

My wife and I have had a troubled marriage for some years, but we've always managed to come through. After the recent death of our youngest son (we lost him to cancer) she has locked herself in her room (we've slept separately for some time), and would only come out when I'm gone to work, quickly grab food and booze, and return to her room, to drink, eat, and blast the stereo.

Last night she packed a bag and left while I was at work. Our 14 year old son was at home to witness this, and she would not tell him where she was going. only that she would come back in a week and get the rest of her stuff.

When I returned home, I went into her room. It was disgusting. Beer cans everywhere, rotten food in bowls, mixed with cigarette butts, and a weird message scrawled on the door in lipstick saying "I hope you live forever." The creepy part was that she had taped kitchen knives, forks, and sewing pins to the walls around the messages. It scared the crap out of me.

There is no history of spouse or child abuse, except for one incident where she came downstairs drunk, thrashed the house, and bit me. I called the police on her, and she now has a record of family violence in the presence of a child.

I need to get divorce papers served asap, and a retraining order to keep the woman from coming back into this house, but I'm afraid that I'll risk sharing custody of my son if I don't do this right. Fathers don't fare well in Utah, I hear. I went to a local law firm in Salt Lake, but they wanted 2 thousand bucks just to start, with a promise of more fees to come. I can't afford that, but I can't afford to procrastinate either.

In short, I need a lawyer, quickly.

Probably looking for free legal advice.

One gets what one pays for.

demwing  (1000+ posts)      Sun Apr-12-09 02:33 PM
Response to Original message

1. 55 views and not a single response?

Does no one know a progressive, reasonably priced lawyer in Utah, that can help with father's rights?? Are there not any Lawyers in this state that hang on DU?

Apparently must not be many primitives in Utah.

DollyM  (515 posts)        Tue Apr-14-09 08:19 PM
Response to Original message
 
4. Not a lawyer but a mental health professional . . .

It sounds like to me that she has become psychotic. I would suggest calling your local community mental health clinic as well as the police and explain about her bizzare behavior and that you fear for the safety of you and your son.

webDude (638 posts)      Sun Apr-19-09 12:14 AM
Response to Reply #6
 
7. They call the Family Law Center, here, in Houston, ...

...the Palace of Perjury. Can get pretty cynical.

pnwmom (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-07-09 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
 
8. While you look for a lawyer, get out your video or still camera and document that whole room just as she left it.

One of the best ways to find a lawyer is to ask your friends. Surely someone you know is divorced and can recommend their lawyer to you -- or saw their ex-spouse's lawyer in action and wished s/he were on the other side.

LoKnLoD  (852 posts)        Fri Aug-07-09 12:04 PM
Response to Original message

9. Good luck

She can be a total whacko in Utah and this state will still give her custody. Get ready to be constantly pissed off as your rights are walked upon left and right just because your sex is male. Been there. Document everything.

A primitive familiar to many of us:

Th1onein  (1000+ posts)        Sat Aug-15-09 12:16 AM
Response to Original message
 
10. CALM DOWN AND LISTEN UP:
 
Don't go jumping the gun here. She has left. Change the locks. If you can, MOVE.

Don't jump into divorce unless you have your guns fully loaded. Document, document, document. First, document that room she just left. Then, document the days she is gone. If she breaks into the house, document it.

She has abandoned you, abandoned her child, and abandoned the property. Document it.

Coming on here and asking for a divorce attorney right away is like saying, "Hey, I need to drop some money quickly!" Don't do it. You stand as much of a chance of getting custody of your son if you file for divorce now than if she filed for it later on. BUT, because she's unstable mentally, you stand a better chance of getting custody if you wait and let her self-destruct before you file.

Use your head.

On the other hand, use your heart. You have lost a child. This breaks up many marriages, but it can also bring you closer, and in that closeness, the memory of your child lives on. Pain shared, is halved.

I have lost a child, I know how much it hurts. It is devastating. And men and women experience this devastation in different ways. They react differently. Recognize this. (I drank myself into oblivion for three years after the death of my son.) If there is a problem, it is very likely that you are a part of that problem. I'm not saying that she should be absolved. I'm just saying that you need to recognize your part in the breakup of your marriage.

Finally, think about the child that you have left. He has lost his brother; now he will be losing his mother, too. Divorce is really hard on children. Are you sure you want to put him through this right now?

Do not jump the gun and file for divorce. It is one of the stupidest things you could possibly do right now.

southernyankeebelle (530 posts)      Sat Aug-15-09 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #10
 
11. You sure have alot of your plate - I agree to calm down and take a step back. You need to document everything. Make sure that you put dates, and times and write down everything she said. Those things are very important. Make sure you take pictures of the room in the condition she left it in.

If by the time income tax comes around and you can make some money from your taxes than you can use that money for a divorce lawyer.

If by Feb she hasn't come around than I would seriously look at divorcing her. You don't want to be responsible if she does anything bad to someone or herself. You could also file go to the courthouse and look up documents on how to do divorce papers yourself.

Buy if I were you and she is unstable I would get a lawyer. But I would wait for awhile.

[NHSparky]

2 grand retainer?  Sounds pretty reasonable to me.

[DumbAss Tanker]

For what has every prospect of being a bitterly-contested, scorched-earth-back-to-the-Fatherland sort of fight, yep.  Should be able to get an ex parte order or TRO by just going to the courthouse and swearing out an affidavit, though. 

[GOBUCKS]

The DUmp has an arrogant old bitch who claims a law degree.

She can get him on Medicaid.

[Karin]

Thrashed the house?  Retraining order?  Oh, just nit-picking. 

Anyway, it boggles the mind how when a huge, serious crisis besets a DUmmie, they go straight for the PC and fire off a missive to the DU.  Then again, they fire off missives to DU when they have revolting date nights, or can't seem to go to the bathroom.