Scientists: Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed

[bijou]

Using models developed to calculate the effects of more plausible pandemics, the team from the University of Ottawa have discovered that unless man struck back quickly and aggressively then they would be doomed.
The scientific paper, which is published in a book “Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress”, looks at an attack by the undead creatures, who infect the living with a bite.
In their study, titled When Zombies Attack!, the researchers picked “classic” slow-moving zombies such as those in Dawn of the Dead as models and divided humanity into three: the living, zombies and the “removed” – zombies who had been killed by decapitation.
They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.
“A zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilisation, unless it is dealt with quickly,” they write in the book ...

Useful info here

[thundley4]

They had to nuke Raccoon City.

[Ralph Wiggum]

Why exactly are scientists studying stuff like this?

[djones520]

I for one am glad they are.  We need to be prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

[bijou]

Why exactly are scientists studying stuff like this?

Perhaps the motherlode of the zombie virus is in Canada? 

[DumbAss Tanker]

Perhaps the motherlode of the zombie virus is in Canada? 

That is all too plausible.

[thundley4]

Perhaps the motherlode of the zombie virus is in Canada? 

And they are using it to create liberals.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWpU8sX10_4[/youtube]
 

[JohnnyReb]

Why exactly are scientists studying stuff like this?

Do you think they could get funds to study "The Muslim problem"?

[Gratiot]

I for one am glad they are.  We need to be prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

Absolutely 

[WMD Owl]

The zombies already control Shiela Jackson Lee's Congressional District.

[Eupher]

You know, with the slow-moving zombies an' all, I'm kinda wonderin' if we can snag, oh, say about $10K or so from Lord Zero's administration just to see if tying their shoelaces together while they're shuffling is an effective method of stopping them dead ( ) in their tracks.

[Gratiot]

You know, with the slow-moving zombies an' all, I'm kinda wonderin' if we can snag, oh, say about $10K or so from "of" Lord Zero's administration, just to see if tying their shoelaces together while they're shuffling is an effective method of stopping "feeding" them dead ( ) in their tracks.

Interesting theory, but I heard they're mostly empty calories without much substance.

Albeit, perhaps it'd be a useful tool to assist with our escape 

[Chris_]

Why exactly are scientists studying stuff like this?

They're trying to save the planet.  Look for a UN resolution in the near future...we only have a few days left before it's too late!!!!!

[GOBUCKS]

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

With universal access and Single Payer, they could be treated.
The living would pay for it.

[Airwolf]

We got all the weapons so getting rid of them shouldn't be a problem unless the Democrats need votes that year.