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BridgeTheGap (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 08:21 AMOriginal message Police say mom ordered daughters out, drove off WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. – Usually, it's an empty threat: "If you kids don't stop fighting, I'm going to stop this car right now and leave you here!" But a mother from an upper-crust New York suburb went through with it, ordering her battling 10- and 12-year-old daughters out of her car in White Plains' business district and driving off, police said Tuesday.Madlyn Primoff, 45, a partner in a Manhattan law firm, pleaded not guilty Monday to a charge of endangering a child. A temporary order of protection was issued, barring her from contact with the children, who were physically unharmed.Primoff's lawyer, Vincent Briccetti, would not comment Tuesday on details of the case. But he said, "Madlyn is a great mother connected with a great family, and she is grateful for the outpouring of support from friends and family."There wasn't much support from strangers, however. Mothers interviewed near the scene said they couldn't imagine doing what Primoff did, though some understood the urge.http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090422/ap_on_re_us/us_fed_...
Sanity Claws (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 08:38 AMResponse to Original message 1. Let me find my asbestos suit. I'll write while I'm still looking for the asbestos suit.I don't think it's so awful. The family needs some kind of intervention but the mother is not so awful as to warrant termination of rights or a criminal charge.A 10 and 12 year old are old enough to be left alone. They were three miles from home, something healthy girls can walk without harm. They were dropped off in the business district, where they have probably been to countless number of times and would know the way home. Scarsdale is indeed a tony suburb and not crime-ridden.I think a 3 mile walk would have done these girls some good and give them a chance to think about what they did. It would also give the mother some time away from them before things got even worse.
ayeshahaqqiqa (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 08:47 AMResponse to Reply #1 3. I regularly walked five miles in the city where I lived growing up. I lived on the edge of town, and my grandmother lived on the other edge of town. It was no big deal. I knew where it was safe, and I'm sure these kids did too. Now if the mom had abandoned them at 11:00 at night near known crime areas, I would be concerned. You have to wonder what message this sends the kids.
Celebration (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 11:50 AMResponse to Reply #1 5. Disagree with you First of all, it was Sunday evening. People would not be likely to be shopping then, or at work. It's dangerous, and leaves the kids upset, and thus very vulnerable. Now, I don't know that the police should become involved, but I am glad a social worker is looking into it. I understand the urge, but she should not have acted on it.
Warpy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 12:38 PMResponse to Reply #1 8. I'm with you A three mile walk from White Plains is not the same as a three mile walk from some godawful ghetto or a three mile walk during a bad thunderstorm.Any kid who is expected to walk three miles is not being abused. It's not only a lesson, it's exercise, something most kids get too little of.I think kids are being overprotected these days. Yes, the world is full of risk, but if they're not exposed to some of it, they will have no clue how to protect themselves when it's time to move away from Mom and Dad and get out into that world.CPS needs to back off.
rocktivity (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 08:46 AMResponse to Original message 2. If you're smart enough to be a partner in a law firm You should be smart enough to know how to handle your kids without acting as childishly as this woman did. How does making them walk three miles stop them from fighting? They probably fought the whole way! But since this mother--and I DO mean "mother"--didn't have to listen to it, she "solved" the problem?
Why Syzygy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 12:24 PMResponse to Reply #2 7. My dad stopped the car and gave me a spanking. To this day, I cannot drive down that street and not remember the exact spot where that happened. It didn't solve the fighting problem. My sister and I barely speak to one another. I missed out on all that with having just one child. The only thing I had to do was threaten to raise my voice in public if he was misbehaving. No one likes to hear me hollering. Works great on my kitty too.
newfie11 (887 posts) Wed Apr-22-09 08:52 AMResponse to Original message 4. Ha, I did that once I made them get out and walk, of course we lived on a rural dirt road and I followed behind them. 3 different neighbors driving down the road stopped to see if they wanted a ride. The kids knew I would be even more mad if they didn't walk. So they walked the 2 miles home.That worked. The arguing still happened but when I threatened to have them walk they did stop.I also discovered how hard it is to walk anywhere with neighbors wanting to help!
Celebration (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 11:52 AMResponse to Reply #4 6. What you did is okay You followed them. That makes all the difference in the world.
frylock (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 01:54 PMResponse to Original message 9. oh, the humanity..as someone who used to walk and ride for miles everday as a child, i have to say that this is beyond overblown.
uppityperson (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 02:22 PMResponse to Original message 10. Why is this in the health forum, not GD? Thanks.
BridgeTheGap (1000+ posts) Thu Apr-23-09 07:59 AMResponse to Reply #10 11. How the mental health of children can be effected by the action of a parent...
uppityperson (1000+ posts) Thu Apr-23-09 01:01 PMResponse to Reply #11 13. That makes sense, thanks. found it in gd too.
xchrom (1000+ posts) Thu Apr-23-09 09:39 AMResponse to Original message 12. once upon a time -- long ago and far away -- i was with my mom -- a small woman, just 5' -- while in the car.we were on the freeway -- and i was acting out.my mom said -- 'if you don't stop, i'll pull this car over and spank you'.i -- being bull headed -- didn't believe her -- because my mom was a very very patient woman -- and frankly had never spanked me before.all of a sudden my mom pulled the car over to the side of the road -- ok i'm a little surprised at this point -- walks around to the side of the car -- i'm a little more surprised -- yanks the car door open -- surprised -- yanks me out the car -- very surprised -- and this small woman, surprisingly strong for her size -- spanks my ass right there in front of god and everybody -- now i'm shocked and my ass hurts.i didn't act up for the rest of the ride -- and after that when my mom told me to stop i did.those girls got off easy -- three miles at that age is nothing.
Quoteuppityperson (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-22-09 02:22 PMResponse to Original message 10. Why is this in the health forum, not GD? Thanks.
BridgeTheGap (1000+ posts) Thu Apr-23-09 07:59 AMResponse to Reply #10 11. How the mental health of children can be effected by the action of a parent...n.t
Frank, Rocky was wrong. They did not fight the whole way because the 12-year old ditched the 10-year old.The 10-year old found help from a samaritan (thank God it wasn't a DUmmie pervert) while the 12-year old made it home.
Frank, Rocky was wrong.
Sorry, sir, but you need to read the comment of the rocking primitive again.The rocking primitive says that a woman smart enough to be a partner in a law firm should be smart enough to devise tactics other than what she did.
I think the older one caught back up with Mom, and was allowed to get back into the car. At that point, not going back after the 10 year old was criminal. Spanking them, no problem. Throwing them out and following, no problem. Driving off and leaving only the youngest, in the end...major problem.
I believe she did go back to try to retrieve the 10-year-old, but the kid had been much more resourceful (and reckless) about getting a ride than she expected. It was pretty stupid, though. I don't agree with the whole restraining order thing, I don't see that as doing anything positive for the family.
In a perfect world someone with authority would quietly explain to the mother what was wrong about her actions and loudly explain to the children how their actions deserved punishment. Then the matter would be dropped.
The rocking primitive says that a woman smart enough to be a partner in a law firm should be smart enough to devise tactics other than what she did.
Someone needs to offer classes on Appropriate Discipline for Children.... their symbol could be a belt. lol.
I believe my ass put more wear and tear on daddys' belt than did his waist....
My dad used a razor strap on me and my 2 brothers when we were misbehaving. Great discipline tool: 3 inch wide strip of heavy leather, about 3 feet long, and with a "handle" on the end...My sons will tell you to this day they get a cold chill down their backs when they hear my belt buckle rattle, and they are 28 and 24!
Meh you had it easy.I had to break my own switches.......From the weeping willow tree in the back yard.
