Author Topic: 6 Evil Henchmen Who Sucked at Their Job  (Read 1308 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline bijou

  • Topic Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8937
  • Reputation: +336/-26
6 Evil Henchmen Who Sucked at Their Job
« on: March 22, 2009, 02:16:45 PM »
Quote
Henchmen are an essential part of every plot to take over the world. Unfortunately, even the best henchmen let us down. Is it something inherent in the henchman archetype? Or is it just that we expect too much from grown men in form-fitting body armor? Honestly, we don't know. But we do know that it hurts every time, and nowhere more so than in the six cases below.

#6.Imperial Stormtroopers


Who Are They?

Soldiers of the Galactic Empire, as featured in the Star Wars franchise.

Why Were They Feared?

Stormtroopers started out strong. The way they stormed that Rebel blockade runner in Star Wars was pretty sweet. And the way they overran that Rebel base in The Empire Strikes Back was the epitome of cool (OK, so they let most of the rebels escape from Cloud City, but the rebels had inside help from known scoundrel Lando Calrissian, so we could let it slide). By that point, it seemed like Stormtroopers could do no wrong. But then something happened, something... awful.



What Went Wrong?

After convincing us that they were the baddest asses in henchmen history, Stormtroopers suddenly went all France on us. Somehow, a frigging army of Stormtroopers was outwitted, outmaneuvered and just plain outfought by a bunch of overgrown merkins whose most advanced weaponry was flint-tipped arrows. But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that these weren't just any Stormtroopers. No, these were, in the Emperor's own words, his best troops, for ****'s sake.



Of course, no one wanted the Stormtroopers to win. Yes, we loved them the way only impressionable adolescents can love something, but we knew they were evil, and we wanted them to get their comeuppance in the end. But not like this. Losing as ignominiously as they did on Endor didn't just diminish the villains, it also diminished the heroic men and women who defeated them.

...
See the rest of the failed henchmen here.



Offline asdf2231

  • would like to cordially invite you to the pants party!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6562
  • Reputation: +556/-162
  • VRWC Arts And Crafts Director
Re: 6 Evil Henchmen Who Sucked at Their Job
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2009, 04:07:15 PM »
My favorite failed henchman video.

[youtube=425,350]b_OQoQ24-v8[/youtube]




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: 6 Evil Henchmen Who Sucked at Their Job
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2009, 06:13:37 PM »
asdf...I want to know where you find this shit...
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline Zathras

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3462
  • Reputation: +487/-71
  • This is the way.
Re: 6 Evil Henchmen Who Sucked at Their Job
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2009, 01:56:55 AM »
asdf...I want to know where you find this shit...

Robot Chicken on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.
Solve a man's problem with violence and help him for a day. Teach a man how to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime - Belkar Bitterleaf

If racist dog whistles are meant to be only heard by racists, then it is quite interesting how progressives seem to be the only people who can hear them. - Leonydus Johnson

What makes a good soldier? The ability to fire 3 rounds a minute in any weather. - Major Richard Sharpe

Offline skrap1r0n

  • Probationary (Probie)
  • Posts: 99
  • Reputation: +5/-2
Re: 6 Evil Henchmen Who Sucked at Their Job
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2009, 12:43:07 PM »
Cracked os one of the sites I check on a regular basis. they have some funny stuff there
We can't stop here, this is bat country.
"THERE'S NO PORN IN THE LOUNGE!" - Miss Mia