Author Topic: Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence  (Read 2198 times)

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Offline CactusCarlos

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Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
« on: February 04, 2008, 08:31:21 PM »
http://knox.villagesoup.com/rewrite/108448.htm

Quote
CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
  -- Norman Thomas, six-time Socialist Party presidential candidate and one of the founders of the ACLU


Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2008, 08:43:37 PM »
When I read this earlier elsewhere, I knew you would post it sooner or later.

Offline CactusCarlos

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Re: Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2008, 08:56:28 PM »
When I read this earlier elsewhere, I knew you would post it sooner or later.

Should I feel complimented or worried?  :lmao:
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
  -- Norman Thomas, six-time Socialist Party presidential candidate and one of the founders of the ACLU


Offline Chris_

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Re: Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2008, 10:36:23 PM »
When I read this earlier elsewhere, I knew you would post it sooner or later.

Should I feel complimented or worried?  :lmao:
worried...you think like me.   :tongue:
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline CactusCarlos

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Re: Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2008, 07:57:50 PM »
When I read this earlier elsewhere, I knew you would post it sooner or later.

Should I feel complimented or worried?  :lmao:
worried...you think like me.   :tongue:

I've seen your posts, I'm in good company!
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
  -- Norman Thomas, six-time Socialist Party presidential candidate and one of the founders of the ACLU


Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2008, 08:10:23 PM »
When I read this earlier elsewhere, I knew you would post it sooner or later.

Should I feel complimented or worried?  :lmao:

You should feel used.  It got posted and I can still hold my head high.   :lmao:

Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2008, 02:35:24 AM »
How to determine the guilty party in a "Silent but Deadly" attack?