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Star Member cab67 (2,291 posts)advice for parents from a college professorA few weeks ago, I posted an open letter to new college students with some advice from my perspective as a professor.Because of some interactions I’ve had since classes began (not on DU), it’s become clear that some parents could also use some advice.1. No – I can’t tell you how your child is doing in my class.There’s this thing called the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, or FERPA. It’s federal law, and it means that unless your child is under the age of 18, and with few exceptions, I cannot divulge educational records to anyone off campus without written permission from your child.I can get fired if I do so.Yes, there are other people you can contact. There’s the head of my department, for example, or our department’s director of undergraduate studies. There’s the dean of my college and the associate dean for undergrad affairs. Your student presumably has an advisor, either in the department of his or her major or through the advising center. You could even take it up to the provost’s office or the institution’s legal counsel. But they’ll tell you the same thing.That you’re paying your child’s tuition does not, and cannot, enter into any decision I might make to divulge information. (And yes – I know how much you’re paying. I work here.)You’re concerned that your child isn’t telling you anything? That might indeed be a problem, but it’s not something I can do anything about.There may be exceptions if your child is experiencing some sort of mental health crisis. I might be able to share student progress with parents/guardians, therapists, or psychiatrists if that’s going on. But I’d do some serious research on my obligations before doing so. I’m not a lawyer, so I’d reach out to university counsel and my dean before acting.Also – this hasn’t happened to me very much, and not recently, but do you realize how pathetic it looks when a parent begs a child’s college instructors for better grades?2. I say this to students as well: when it comes to exams, quizzes, and assignments, we instructors accommodate need – not convenience.The “need” category includes a student’s illness or injury; a dependent’s illness or injury; a family emergency, such as a funeral or a close relative’s heart attack; a court date; a job interview; a military obligation; another university-related obligation, such as a mandatory field trip; a transportation problem; a computer problem (if the exam is taken online); or a family event that was scheduled long in advance, especially if I’m notified of it right after classes begin.We also accommodate physical conditions that might impair a student’s ability to take an exam as scheduled – visual impairment, ADHD, dyslexia, and so on. There’s an office on campus that manages such accommodations.Almost everything else falls under “convenience.”That you already bought the plane tickets on the day your child is scheduled to take an exam is unfortunate, but unless it’s for a real emergency (e.g. funeral) or a milestone event that was (a) planned before classes began and (b)made known to me early in the semester, I’m not inclined to accommodate your child.Yes, I know air fares vary depending on the date of departure or return. No, I can’t accommodate your child because cheaper flights conflict with a classroom obligation.I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve been told that I have to accommodate a student because an event had to be scheduled to avoid conflicts with everyone else’s work obligations. As far as I’m concerned, work obligations don’t necessarily have right of way over academic obligations.Your best bet? Your child got a syllabus for each of their classes on the first day of the term. It specifies when exams will take place, and it may state the deadlines for term papers or other deliverables. Take them into consideration when scheduling some sort of event, and don’t assume that your child can be accommodated.Sorry if this sounds strident, but I've had some difficult exchanges with parents in recent weeks.https://www.democraticunderground.com/100217243126
