Washington D.C., 20 Aug, 2008 - The refrains are becoming louder and louder within the ranks of the democrat party: GOP presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) is no war hero because he was shot down over Vietnam, an event that lead to his being a POW for more than 6 years.
In an obvious effort to mute McCain's experience both in life in general as well as politics, the military and government supporters of democrat contender Barack Obama have taken to pointing out that McCain's service record is sullied by his captivity. First came a letter spread across the internet with viral virilty, then came disparaging comments by would-be 2004 democrat presidential nominee and Obama confederate, Gen. Wesley Clark. Now the chorus grows louder as the internet activist community joins the cacophony of voices.
But the effort is unlikely to stop there.
With the demand that hero status be stripped over his capture comes the tacit admission that those who succumbed to enemy actions had failed in their military responsibilities. It has since been proffered that those interred at Arlington National Cemetery be exhumed and relocated to more anonymous burials.
"Let's face it," claims activist William "Pinky" Pitt, "that statue of the flag-raising on Iwo Jima is little more than a testament to the incompetence of 5,000 marines. Why would any sane person honor that?
"I'm not one of these chest-thumping chicken-hawks because not only have I always hated war I've remained true to my convictions by never joining the military so I feel I have the expertise to speak to this matter.
"And what the hell is this? A big, black wall comemorating 53,000 losers? Don't get me started! Pf-f-f-t!"
It was then that the interview was cut-short as Mr. Rivers was forced to seek refuge in his basement abode to escape the wrath of a dozen bikers that had overheard his comments.
