It's official - We've parted ways over politics

[dutch508]

KentuckyWoman (1,719 posts) https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029926640

It's official - We've parted ways over politics


I've tried every which way to understand the hate that has consumed what used to be my brother.

I've always considered him the smartest one of us.... with several different kinds of intelligence. He was gifted at birth with book smarts, mechanical ability, a great sense of humor, and a heart in the right place. The man he grew into made me honored to be his sister.

He had a heart bypass around the same time Barack Obama was running for president. For a long time I blamed the change on the bypass. I've seen people become angry and agitated for a long time after bypass... sometimes years. But this was different. It became toxic. He acquired Obama derangement syndrome to the point it was difficult to have even a family business conversation with him that didn't veer off into a rant again Barack Obama.

About 2 years ago there came an even uglier edge to his comments. A racism I am ashamed exists in my own family. He supported Trump full bore and still makes no excuses for it. He told me "today Trump should dissolve the Congress."

It was the last straw. I started crying. I told him all of the above in quiet tones. I told him I don't know if it was the bypass or that Trump has made him feel bold enough to speak out racism I never knew he had, but he's barely recognizable as my brother anymore. I told him I don't understand the anger and hatred. I told him he only has one life and it's about over. He's over 70 yrs old. He's had 3 heart attacks. His last one could be any time. He deserves more happiness in his old age. I could not stop crying.

He wasn't reachable. He yelled, he called me horrid names. He left.

This was a week ago. I have barely stopped crying since. My husband is beside himself.... wants to fix it. He can't. It is what it is.

I want to hate the architects of hate radio, and the politics of this age. They stole my brother from me. My only brother.

I want to hate them. But I can't. I just want my brother back. While he breathes on this earth, I have hope.

This post is in honor of all of us who have lost someone out of our lives because insanity has taken over the day. Nearly all of us have lost someone dear. If you have, I hope you will remember them here. Let them not be lost forever. Let us try to find hope.

 

The brother is way off better without you...

Star Member dixiegrrrrl (52,293 posts)
2. Losing family to any form of insanity is so painful.

My family was not immune to it either.
I take comfort in knowing I made the right decision for me.
Continues to remain a very sad situation, even after 30 years.

So- you cut contact with your family 30 years ago over politics...

in 1987?

Hate Reagan much?

 

blue cat (2,009 posts)
4. I'm sorry, and I understand.

I told my sister that I thought less of her since she insists on being a birther.

Star Member CousinIT (2,344 posts)
5. Sounds like my brother, who used to be a Democrat until a woman won the nomination

Then, he went hard right same as yours. I have little to say to him other than over required family business. NO conversation at all. I want NOTHING to do with him unless absolutely necessary. I was going to move nearer to him and my sister (both Republican) when I retired. But those plans have changed, unbeknownst to them. I'm staying right where I'm at thankyouverymuch. I can't afford to live where they do anyway.

lunasun (10,449 posts)
8. I don't have anyone but I do experience thier racism and hate often but there is a movie

your family should check out called The Brainwashing of My Dad to see what happened and how one man got away ,somewhat , from the crazy . They sort of remind me of drug addicts except the high they get is from hate . What a terrible end of life quality for your brother.
Hope you can resolve your feelings and thanks for standing up to him and not tolerating or ignoring his hate. Too many Germans gave the haters a pass and Nazis took over. No one in Germany benefitted in the end from ignoring the problem as it grew

 

liberalnarb (3,837 posts)
13. Ive been having similar issues.

I could let it go when Obama was President, because at least then the destructive ideology they were adhering to wasn’t in power, destroying the country. Everyday it gets harder to move on after fights about politics. It’s the most frustrating thing in the world when you can’t get through to somebody, especially if the things they are arguing are completely ridiculous. Hang in there, just know that you are not alone. The world is SOO ****ed up right now.

Star Member catbyte (9,316 posts)
19. A good friend I've known since we were 13. I celebrated my 62nd birthday in June

He went on a crazed anti-Obama, anti-Hillary, pro Orange Shitstain rant on Facebook in late October, 2016. I blocked him from everything & haven't heard from him since. I miss him occasionally because he has a skewed, quirky sense of humor I've appreciated since middle school, but I just couldn't get past his bigotry & misogyny--especially since he knows I'm over 1/2 Ojibwe and a woman. It's a damn shame--at least I didn't lose any family members. That would be unbearable. That thing currently infesting the White House poisons everything he touches.

I'm so very sorry, KentuckyWoman.

Bradshaw3 (598 posts)
24. I'm sorry for her pain but I have a generic question about family

What rule is it that says we have to have a relationship with family members when it is a toxic situation. I know most people are probably horrified to have that question even asked because most are taught from an early age that family is everything, that blood is thicker than water. But is it? Check out what happens when a rich relative dies and there is no will or a question about inheritance. Watch how family members tear each other apart over money. Her brother is willing to push her away because of his politics. I understand she is a caring person and grieves for the loss of her brother. But maybe in the end it is what is best, considering there is little to no chance he will change. In the Brainwashing of My Dad they were able to take away control of the television and his newsfeeds from him. Don't think this is possible here.

Star Member trueblue2007 (8,507 posts)
29. I think my brother in law is your brother. I'm sorry that our relatives are the way they are

my brother in law hates President Obama. He came unglued when my hubby had dinner out with my sister and "Harold" ......

i mentioned something about the horrible people who were in the news that had problems in past years with the teenage girls. Harrold
went nuts and almost sounded like it was the young girls fault and said to my husband Carl that we would not be having
these problems if the women were not in the work place.

we women entice the men and cause all the problems. I told him in no uncertain terms he was wrong, we were not living in
medieval times. it is the way it is and his way will never come around again. I told him to shut up and he did.

miracles upon miracles. he knew he was wrong and he had better shut his yap.

sickens me that the perverts are okay but we victims are at fault. i was sexually harrassed in my early 20's and got fired because i would not put out to the boss.

again, I'm sorry for our pain.

nini (14,764 posts)
30. Good for you and I know it's tough

I have cut off about 2/3 of my family. And you know what? I don't miss the constant underhanded comments and all the things you mentioned. I got tired of me being the one to keep the fights down in front of my mom etc.. I'm done..over it .. finished.

This is the first year we are not having a family Christmas party and I am relieved. I'm tired of them. They are toxic and I would never choose them as friends so why tolerate them with this stuff.

You can love them still .. as I do. But you don't need to tolerate that until they decide you're important enough to not treat like crap.

It's that simple. Hang in there.

odds are the rest of the family is still getting together... they just didn't tell you.

 

[freedumb2003b]

Anyone who allows politics to separate them from their family is mentally deranged.

Of COURSE I have liberal relatives.  You think the upper level genes spread equally?  Eventually you learn to just not discuss politics except for a rare FB post where you destroy their pitiful attempts at logic (had to do that today).

But you just smile and pat them on the head and allow them to think their nonsense makes sense.  Many, for example, think the Mueller/Flynn thing will bring down Donald Trump.  What else can you do but love them and get ready for the kind and gentle Schadenfreude when they realize the bottle's empty and there's nuthin' left.

But to disavow your family?  Over politics?  That takes an ugly heart indeed.

[DumbAss Tanker]

It's so much more informative to read between the lines. than to take their carefully-framed BS at face value.

They say 'He was a Democrat until a woman won the nomination' when it's really 'Until that horrid, corrupt Clinton woman killed her way to the top.'

They say 'He showed himself a racist' when it's really 'He got tired of my Obama-worship and voiced some hard facts about race-pimping.'

They say 'They used to be tolerant and generous' when it's really 'We presumed upon their goodwill endlessly, and terribly overplayed our hand, they finally tired of our bullshit and rejected it.'

[USA4ME]

I agree with DAT. This is a case of the KentuckyWoman primitive saying "I want gov't to control every aspect of my life and to tell me what to do, how to think, etc..." and her brother saying "I don't want gov't to do anything beyond what the Constitution requires of it." That would be enough to set any lib off.

.

[franksolich]

It seems as if she had her brother pegged right from the start:

I've always considered him the smartest one of us....

[Old n Grumpy]

Anyone who allows politics to separate them from their family is mentally deranged.

Anyone who can't accept the results of the election and still thinks hilliary can take over is mentally deranged.

[fatboy]

The beauty of the present situation is that the democrats haven't realized that their plan of attack isn't working. Just keep doing what doesn't work and expect things to change. 

Good idea!