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Sat Dec 3, 2016, 12:26 PMStar Member MineralMan (88,735 posts)Satire: Trump to Replace Secret Service with Special GuardsCiting a constant barrage of threats, President for Life Donald Trump has announced that the traditional Secret Service personnel who have protected previous Presidents will be replaced by elite forces dedicated to that job. Termed as the Secret Army (SA), it will be staffed with hand-selected military security personnel who have made an oath of allegiance to Trump. A smaller, heavily armed contingent, to be called the Special Security Handlers (SSH) will accompany President for Life Trump at all times to protect him.
Sat Dec 3, 2016, 12:46 PMStar Member MineralMan (88,735 posts)Satire: Warning from President for Life Donald J. TrumpThis notification will be published in all media on January 20, 2016Notice to All Americans!In an Executive Order, President for Life Donald Trump, proclaims:To the Citizens of the United StatesBe it proclaimed that the United States of America is a tremendous country, with a terrific President, who will benevolently rule during his lifetime, after which it will be perfectly ruled by his benevolent heirs and assigns in perpetuity. It's going to be wonderful and great to be an American, as long as everyone does what I say. If you don't wish to do that, you are encouraged to leave at once or risk imprisonment and forced labor.All Hail the United States of America! All Hail President for Life Trump!