Obamaphones with free internet, and the obligatory free internet porn.
It's all a basic human right.
Hmm, if you wanna include free internet porn, make sure you include free gloves for the unlucky doctor, and free medical screenings for any poor mannequins (is that a sexist term?
) found on exploding DUmmy premises. Also, free bags for said mannequins to use on said DUmmy heads.
And rainbow colored Skittles shitting ponies for all!
